Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 regulars will know my story.. ex b/f dumped me really cruelly after 6 years together, i went NC for 5months, still hurting but recently he has been attention seeking and we've been talking through texts. he's a different person now to the one i once knew he's turned into a real @sshole and has become so vulgar, just a totally different person than the sweet guy who was my first love anyhow, he sent me a text out of the blue at 2am (possibly he was drunk i don't know) but it basically said that he had just masturbated over a photo of me. this guy dumped me and treated me like crap, recently i've been civil to him after months of NC, he knows how much he hurt me tho and doesn't seem to care. why the hell would he send me that?! is it just for attention or is he testing how far he can push me? and how much he can get away with? he goads me into contacting/answering him then when i do the next minute he tells me to go away and not contact him then when i do that and delete his number he texts me that vulgar msg. what are your thoughts?..
frustrated&sad Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 What a pig! I would never respond to him. Tell him to stop contacting you or block his number. There is no reason for him to be so vulgar. If he's tryign to get you back, he has a very bizarre sense of chivalry. And, frankly, would you want him back? Eew. While I admire you for being civil, you can still be civil and tell this gross man to go take a flying leap. I'm just saying....
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 regulars will know my story.. ex b/f dumped me really cruelly after 6 years together, i went NC for 5months, still hurting but recently he has been attention seeking and we've been talking through texts. he's a different person now to the one i once knew he's turned into a real @sshole and has become so vulgar, just a totally different person than the sweet guy who was my first love anyhow, he sent me a text out of the blue at 2am (possibly he was drunk i don't know) but it basically said that he had just masturbated over a photo of me. this guy dumped me and treated me like crap, recently i've been civil to him after months of NC, he knows how much he hurt me tho and doesn't seem to care. why the hell would he send me that?! is it just for attention or is he testing how far he can push me? and how much he can get away with? he goads me into contacting/answering him then when i do the next minute he tells me to go away and not contact him then when i do that and delete his number he texts me that vulgar msg. what are your thoughts?.. Wow, 6 years is a long time to be in a relationship. If you want this guy to leave you alone, tell him in writing (email and text) and in person that you want him to stop communicating with you. Be firm, short and sweet.
lorilynne Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I've followed your posts CC. First of all, I hope you didn't respond & you shouldn't. I know he still gets to you & a terse response from you will only invite him to say something back that might hurt you further. Look at it this way...you got the last text. You win! Don't respond at all...EVER! It's done. He's a pig & you're a princess. Move on. I know you posted on another thread a question about having sex with an ex but something tells me it's in response to his text. DON'T DO IT! No one I've ever known has successfully managed to just have sex with their ex & not endure further pain. Besides, why should he have the pleasure of your intimate company after he treated you so badly. You'd be better off having sex with a stranger (not that I'm advising this...just for demonstration of my point). A stranger didn't walk all over & treat you like sh** after knowing you for 6 years! You can do it, girl! The ball is in your court...don't give it back!
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 regulars will know my story.. ex b/f dumped me really cruelly after 6 years together, i went NC for 5months, still hurting but recently he has been attention seeking and we've been talking through texts. he's a different person now to the one i once knew he's turned into a real @sshole and has become so vulgar, just a totally different person than the sweet guy who was my first love anyhow, he sent me a text out of the blue at 2am (possibly he was drunk i don't know) but it basically said that he had just masturbated over a photo of me. this guy dumped me and treated me like crap, recently i've been civil to him after months of NC, he knows how much he hurt me tho and doesn't seem to care. why the hell would he send me that?! is it just for attention or is he testing how far he can push me? and how much he can get away with? he goads me into contacting/answering him then when i do the next minute he tells me to go away and not contact him then when i do that and delete his number he texts me that vulgar msg. what are your thoughts?.. Honey, no one ever makes us do anything. EVER. Okay, I guess the exception is when there is a gun or other instrument of thread pointed in your face, but when it comes to NC if we break it, we break it because of us, it isn't because an ex talked us into it, convinced us, tricked us, no. When they come writing or calling or begging and we feed into it, it's no one's responsibility for that but ours. We could say no and choose to ignore it afterall. Why are you doing this to yourself? Really? You said it yourself, he dumped you cruelly and now he is just not the same person. Okay, that happens. Now he turns to being vulgar and a "real *******" as you say. Yet you continue to stay in contact, and you come here posting about it hoping we'll pick brains with you, why? For what? What are you getting out of this?
Author Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 i feel what ur saying. but i was civil, he told me to go away, so i went back to NC and then he texts me that vulgar msg.. just wanted to know ppls opinions on why. i know i should not even care why but he is so random
angelface78 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 WHAT A JERK...DONT CONTACT HIM...IGNORE HIM. yOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT! HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION.
Left in a Lurch Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Maybe text him back and say "And now the police know you did too." Or forward it to his mom.
Enema Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "lol, that's funny because I just masturbated over a picture of <insert his friends name>". 1
pandagirl Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I've read a few of your posts on this guy CC. Who knows what is deal really is, but it sounds like he is working through some personal demons, whatever they may be. But it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with him. That message he sent you is not only disgusting, but also just really lame. Sounds like he is spiraling down some bad vortex and this was just part of it. He's probably depressed, maybe doing drugs, and most like hates himself. Let him be. You can't save him. He'll figure it out when he's ready to man up.
CaliGuy Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 what are your thoughts?.. He's a pig and an A$$. Be glad you're rid of him.
Citizen Erased Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "lol, that's funny because I just masturbated over a picture of <insert his friends name>". I like it.
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 i feel what ur saying. but i was civil, he told me to go away, so i went back to NC and then he texts me that vulgar msg.. just wanted to know ppls opinions on why. i know i should not even care why but he is so random He was civil? When? When he as you put it; cruelly dumped you after 6 years? You shouldn't care no, because this guy is a jerk but you do care because you still are attatched to him. Which is why you broke NC to begin with, it had nothing to do with him goading. You still have feelings Which is why you came here to ask others to pick brains with you. Which for anyone who cares about your well being, this is not healthy or conducive to recovery for you.
Nedved Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 This guy sounds like a complete as*h*le and if i was you i'd go back NC on him right away. by the sounds of things your a sexual object to him now and thats prob all he's interested in. It was a lack of respect.
love_confusion Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 This is my first post here after months and months of browsing this site, but I had to reply because this situation is one that I'm currently in. I broke up with my ex about 7 months ago and realized I made a huge mistake (he wasn't totally w/o fault, but we won't go there right now). So, I apologized, apologized, apologized, and apologized some more for a total of 3 months. Then I decided enough was enough, sent him one more apology and told him I wasn't over him so it would be best if I just let the whole thing go; I needed to start moving on. Less than a week later, he decides to contact me with a totally racy text. Of course, I was so eager to get him back and try to make things right with him, I gave in. Then, we started this 3 month text relationship where we'd send each other sexy texts (literally...thousands of them) and racy, very racy, pictures. I thought that each picture I sent would make him want to get back together with me. We finally went out once, got intimate with one another, and that was kind of it. I didn't quite understand what happened after that date, but clearly he was only out for one thing and ended up getting it. He knew I wasn't over him...I told him, but decided to take advantage of the fact that I would do anything to get him back. So, by answering his racy text, I put up with 3 months of total confusion and frustration. Honestly, it feels like we broke up all over again. If I could go back several months, I would never have responded to him....never! Unfortunately, I can't go back in time and I admittedly made a big mistake. So, my thoughts on this is that he's just out to jerk you around. He knows he can...and he will if you let him.
You'reasian Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Sometimes people get along, sometimes they don't - if its worth salvaging, then meet face to face, get the facts out and work toward something. If its not worth salvaging, your best bet is to get closure and walk away.
shunter Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 love_confusion explained it well. i was going to suggest that is what he was doing. it is 2am he is drunk, he wants to be in bed with you and so he writes you a dirty text hoping you will respond "why do that when you can have the real thing" .. forget this loser, you dont want to go down this road of being at his beck and call, waiting months for him to lay you and then push you aside.
You'reasian Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 This is my first post here after months and months of browsing this site, but I had to reply because this situation is one that I'm currently in. I broke up with my ex about 7 months ago and realized I made a huge mistake (he wasn't totally w/o fault, but we won't go there right now). So, I apologized, apologized, apologized, and apologized some more for a total of 3 months. Then I decided enough was enough, sent him one more apology and told him I wasn't over him so it would be best if I just let the whole thing go; I needed to start moving on. Less than a week later, he decides to contact me with a totally racy text. Of course, I was so eager to get him back and try to make things right with him, I gave in. Then, we started this 3 month text relationship where we'd send each other sexy texts (literally...thousands of them) and racy, very racy, pictures. I thought that each picture I sent would make him want to get back together with me. We finally went out once, got intimate with one another, and that was kind of it. I didn't quite understand what happened after that date, but clearly he was only out for one thing and ended up getting it. He knew I wasn't over him...I told him, but decided to take advantage of the fact that I would do anything to get him back. So, by answering his racy text, I put up with 3 months of total confusion and frustration. Honestly, it feels like we broke up all over again. If I could go back several months, I would never have responded to him....never! Unfortunately, I can't go back in time and I admittedly made a big mistake. So, my thoughts on this is that he's just out to jerk you around. He knows he can...and he will if you let him. Sounds like you might have turned a nice guy into a jerk?
Thomas X Forever Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 So, my thoughts on this is that he's just out to jerk you around. Bada bing! This line was hilarious in the context of this topic.
love_confusion Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Sounds like you might have turned a nice guy into a jerk? Or he was already a jerk and I made the right decision in breaking up with him in the first place.
2sure Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 After 6 years of being treated like crap you and bf break up. Months of NC lead to him communicating with you again because he misses having someone around who he can treat like crap and still wants him. So, then he wonders how much you still want him. How much crap are you willing to eat, how much violation from him are you willing to take just for the chance of talking to him. Quite a lot. He tells you that he masterbated to/on a picture of you. First, he basically is telling you thats all your good for. Next he is letting you know he can violate you even when your not there. Further he is letting you know what in real life, you cant have. Seriously. Come on. Enough. You need to text him and tell him: I have suspected for a while that you were a piece of ****. I cannot remember why I was attracted to you. Disappear.
You'reasian Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Or he was already a jerk and I made the right decision in breaking up with him in the first place. Why did you decide to get involved with a jerk for 6 years? That's a long time. I guess women are still drawn to em.
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