Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 sex with an ex no, i'm not thinking about doing this but just started this thread as im curious can this ever work out or is it doomed to disaster and more hurt. say you get dumped, ur ex doesn't want u back but they suggest no strings sex with you.. can this ever lead to more? just wondering about your experiences, have you ever done this or would you? do you think one of the two people can develope real feelings whereas the other one may be able to switch off and just enjoy using the other for pleasure or can it ever lead to more- as in getting back together? if your ex was pretty cold with u and very upfront that it would just be sex, no cuddling, intimacy or friendly talk just f**cking basically would you do it? if its fun, what's the harm? what are your experiences? and have you ever done this and ended up getting back in a relationship with the ex? or is it dangerous/doomed to failure and more hurt? spill...
northstar1 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 sex with an ex no, i'm not thinking about doing this but just started this thread as im curious can this ever work out or is it doomed to disaster and more hurt. say you get dumped, ur ex doesn't want u back but they suggest no strings sex with you.. can this ever lead to more? just wondering about your experiences, have you ever done this or would you? do you think one of the two people can develope real feelings whereas the other one may be able to switch off and just enjoy using the other for pleasure or can it ever lead to more- as in getting back together? if your ex was pretty cold with u and very upfront that it would just be sex, no cuddling, intimacy or friendly talk just f**cking basically would you do it? if its fun, what's the harm? what are your experiences? and have you ever done this and ended up getting back in a relationship with the ex? or is it dangerous/doomed to failure and more hurt? spill... That's why it doesn't work. One almost always has feelings still and gets strung along thinking that the sex will lead to reconcilliation. Even if most think it can work, it usually ends in disaster.
frustrated&sad Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 In my case, it just made it hurt even more. He broke up with me; we both decided one last time wouldn't hurt. But it was confusing. Why would he cuddle? And I felt dirty afterwards. Why did he only let himself get pleasured? And humiliated. Why the heck did I just do that? Am I insane?! I had not expected those feeling to happen. I went in feeling "strong," came out feeling very, very tiny. It was not enjoyable in retrospect. It made my world of pain increase tenfold. Bad idea for me, but perhaps others have had better luck.
CaliGuy Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 My thoughts? Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
kimbop Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 It only works when there are absolutely no romantic feelings involved. Had an encounter with an ex before. But he was an ex from five years ago, and I was the one who broke up with him because I didn't reciprocate the depth of his feelings. I had no regrets. I don't know about him though.... he did want to see me again and I bluntly told him no. It was just a sexual experience with someone whom you know already. Nothing more and nothing less. I guess this is the perspective from the dumper. It's cruel I know.
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 sex with an ex no, i'm not thinking about doing this but just started this thread as im curious can this ever work out or is it doomed to disaster and more hurt. say you get dumped, ur ex doesn't want u back but they suggest no strings sex with you.. can this ever lead to more? just wondering about your experiences, have you ever done this or would you? do you think one of the two people can develope real feelings whereas the other one may be able to switch off and just enjoy using the other for pleasure or can it ever lead to more- as in getting back together? if your ex was pretty cold with u and very upfront that it would just be sex, no cuddling, intimacy or friendly talk just f**cking basically would you do it? if its fun, what's the harm? what are your experiences? and have you ever done this and ended up getting back in a relationship with the ex? or is it dangerous/doomed to failure and more hurt? spill... I think this is the road travelled by people with very little self esteem or self worth. It's an extremely self destructive practice, wether you are the one being used, or to set out to use someone else. Both signal that there is something broken inside of you that needs fixing. No one wants to be used for someone else's pleasure, and I don't think anyone else should have a desire to use another for their pleasure. There's nothing fun about having sex with an ex, unless you're using it as a mean's to further hang on, which is only fun for awhile until reality sets in that you're still not going to get what you want. I think if people want to hurt themselves severely and cause themself undue damage, they might as well tie a blindfold on, plug their ears, and stumble blindly upon LA traffic during rush hour. That's what I think.
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 although i really want to and my ex and i almost did we stopped before it could go there she said she didnt want it like that and i agreed. it causes confusion and i have a lot more feelings for her than she has for me and it would hurt me more even know thinking that she is with someone else. yeah i think it is best to chill until ur ready for each other seriously can cause pandemonium.
Taucher Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 My heart says YES PLEASE but in reality, Im not sure I could...manage it. It would seem strange right now. I would be thinking too much, like..."what does this mean? Why does she want to?" It would create too many questions in my head. But if she really wanted me back and somehow I believed her...then yes. I DO have sexy dreams about her though. They hurt. T
georgia girl Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Sweet God no! None of us would be here if we weren't hurting and therefore, somehow seeking a way back to our ex. This is not just a recipe for disaster - it's a recipe for absolute calamity. Don't mean to be a prude, but sex was a part of our relationship. You don't get to have that EVER AGAIN when you choose to leave. If you love me and want our relationship again... then, hey there, handsome!
Beeotch Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 sex with an ex no, i'm not thinking about doing this but just started this thread as im curious can this ever work out or is it doomed to disaster and more hurt. say you get dumped, ur ex doesn't want u back but they suggest no strings sex with you.. can this ever lead to more? just wondering about your experiences, have you ever done this or would you? do you think one of the two people can develope real feelings whereas the other one may be able to switch off and just enjoy using the other for pleasure or can it ever lead to more- as in getting back together? if your ex was pretty cold with u and very upfront that it would just be sex, no cuddling, intimacy or friendly talk just f**cking basically would you do it? if its fun, what's the harm? what are your experiences? and have you ever done this and ended up getting back in a relationship with the ex? or is it dangerous/doomed to failure and more hurt? spill... When my ex and I initially broke up...I still had sex with him. WRONG THING! I wanted the comfort, the emotional closeness, the love making...all I got was sex except for once when it seemed to be romantic and emotionally connected. I was giving him sex and hoping I would be given affection but it was just sex and left me feeling empty and upset after...it was NOT satisfying because at the end of the day what I really wanted was the closeness not just the sex. If you still want to be with this person....HORRIBLE idea. You are going to feel drained because essentially you are giving of yourself and not getting anything in return. I stopped having sex with my ex a long time ago and when I want sex I get it from who I got it from before we were together. That one is truly NO STRINGS attached...with an ex, it is a pretend-no strings attached scenario ...but there are strings...big invisible strings that have pull. With my ex I usually felt bad after, drained, upset, I had expectations etc with this other guy...we do not secretly want each other, we are not harboring expectations, there are no disappointments, drama and hurt.
Beeotch Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 In my case, it just made it hurt even more. He broke up with me; we both decided one last time wouldn't hurt. But it was confusing. Why would he cuddle? And I felt dirty afterwards. Why did he only let himself get pleasured? And humiliated. Why the heck did I just do that? Am I insane?! I had not expected those feeling to happen. I went in feeling "strong," came out feeling very, very tiny. It was not enjoyable in retrospect. It made my world of pain increase tenfold. Bad idea for me, but perhaps others have had better luck. Couldn't have said it better...these are EXACTLY the feelings and thoughts that ran through my mind.
yankees13 Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 no don't do it. I got strung along for a month and I have to start the healing process all over! Avoid at all cost!
You'reasian Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 On the relationship. If it was a very serious, committed relationship say that ended with a bad break-up, no. If it was kind of a fun, non serious relationship, that ended amicably, then maybe.
Lizzie60 Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I say that, in your case, it would be a bad idea... I've had sex with my last ex.. (haven't in a long time) many times.. we actually had an A for a few years. It took me almost 2 years to accept to even just see him again.. I was scared I still had feelings for him.. and it would hurt all over again.. We met... only for a coffee and a chat.. we kissed ... no sex.. then he came over again... we ended up having sex.. but I knew we were OK.. we were totally over each other.. and we could just enjoy being friends and have sex.. he finally married his gf.. we still see each other from time to time... He's an amazing guy.. we have a lot of respect for each other.
ssj4trunks09 Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I say no. I did it and it just brought in my more confusion on where we stood.
on edge Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Even if most think it can work, it usually ends in disaster. Exactly what Northstar said. I have been down this road many times, and it never works out. If you want some NSA sex try craigslist.
moo Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Personally, I wouldn't do it. For one thing, I couldnt' even find it without a flashlight and a map. For another thing, I am disgusted by him. Whorenstein and his gf, the Bride of Whorenstein jumped in the sack real quick. I would never had sex with that limp creature again. But for others....I dunno. It depends on the relationship....It's probably bad in most situations, but if the person was really good to you and you had a loving relationship, but couldn't make it wofk because of personality conflicts, then maybe it would not be so bad.
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