theres still feelings

[matt1987]

Hi everybody! this is my first time on here so just please bare withe me. My names Matt and I am 22 years of age. The reason I am here today is because i need some advice. This could take a while but please just read it through.

 

Ok so about 4 months ago my girlfriend of almost exactly a year broke up with me, and like so many others I panicked. I was constantly texting her, trying to act like it never happaned, and just pretending everything was ok. So after about a week and a half of me doing this she lost it. And that was when I realized that this isnt the way I should be going about this. So after that I stopped with everything, i got rid of everything that reminded me of her. I even tried one of those how to get your ex gf back websites, but it was already to late for me.

 

During our relationship we had so much fun, we were always together but we didnt smotther each other. Theres alot of memories that are still locked in my head. We never fought, we maybe fought 2 or 3 times but they were resolved within an hour. We were always happy together, and we always found a way to make each other smile. thats just a little bit about our relationship

 

So it was a little over a month that we had broke up and I was doing a little better. I even tried dating someone else. that worked out for about 2 months, but I was so unhappy cause i still had feelings for my ex.

 

Ok so now this is when it gets really confusing for me, so its been about 4 months since we broke up, and there has been no contact between since the end of march. except for when she text me on my birthday to say happy birthday, but that was it.

 

About 2 weeks ago I got a text very late one night at about 2:30, I looked at my phone and saw her number, now i had deleted her number from my phone but I had it memorized so that didnt really do anything. But when I saw her number my heart stopped for a second and my body went numb. I didnt open it for like 10 minutes cause I was to scared to. when I did open it she thats she wanted to apologize for how she talked to me the last time we talked, and at this time I didnt know what to think. I was mad and really didnt care, I figured that it was gonna be like a 2 or 3 text message convo and that would be it, but it ended up being until 5 am of us just talking and laughing, and even a little bit of serious stuff to. I ended up finding out that the biggest reason why she broke it off was because i had no ambition to get my life going, all she wanted was for me to go back to school so I can one day have a good job and we can live happily without worrying about bills and whatnot, yes we had planned on getting married one day, thats how in love we were. But I was to stubborn to realize it, and it was brought up all the time but i just shrugged it off. And she just got tired of it. Now when she told me this I immediatly started to cry.

 

Its been 2 weeks now and we still talk, I usually just wait for her to contact me but sometimes I just cant stop myself. This past friday I even went over her house for the first time since we broke up, I was shaking just about the entire time. When she saw me she gave me a big hug, and i pretty much just froze. She was having a little party so it wasnt just me and her. so i hungout for a couple hours, and when I went to leave I told her and she said wait I'll walk you out to your car. So she came outside with me and we started talking, now she has changed alot in the past 4 months, but it doesnt change the way i feel. we ended up talking for almost 2 hours about our feelings and why she broke it off.

 

Now she still has feelings for me, they never went away. Over the past 4 months she said she still thought about me, and when I stopped calling her it made her sad. and when she text me on my birthday it made her sad. And over the past 2 weeks now she thingks about me all the time. She said that if we were to get back together that she would want to take it one day at a time, and she wouldnt wanna do it inless she was 100 percent sure that its what she wanted. Cause she doesnt want to hurt me again the way she did in march, cause trust me i completely fell apart and she knows it. That same night I layed in her bed with her cause she asked me if I wanted to, so obviously I did. And she was freezing so I tried warming her up and she didnt try to stop me or anything.

 

I try to not make myself think that were gonna get back together, but I cant help it when all of this is happening now.

 

Now about the whole me not doing anything with my life, thats changed I have joined the U.S. army and I am leaving on december 29th. She goes to school about 200 miles away from home. and shes doing a semester abroad after xmas. But nothing would ever get in the way of me being with her. We used to say to each other forever and always, and I still feel that way. I still think of her as the one. She says that shes confused and doesnt know what to do, cause she has never had someone care about her so much. I think shes scared about that I did everything for her, I used to drive out to her school atleast once a month just for 2 days. I'm willing to do whatever it takes for her and she knows this.

 

I just dont know what to do until then, should I continue to just wait for her to contact me? or should I make attempts to contact her? And what do you guys think about this situation? I have never been in a situation like this before. thanks to everyone who answers

[SRTtoZ]

I would say do what you've been doing...let her do most of the contacting but it doesnt hurt to show her you still care once in a while. Follow your heart man...Its all you got.

[LovesHangover]

I would say do what you've been doing...let her do most of the contacting but it doesnt hurt to show her you still care once in a while. Follow your heart man...Its all you got.

 

Follow your heart! Best advice ever!