mr.dream merchant Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 For the most part, we know that jealousy is an unattractive trait in a male. But why does it seem that females get a pass? My ex was highly jealous and possessive but it never really bothered me. But as soon as I got jealous I was "psycho" or her friends didn't like that I "acted like that". But when she got jealous, it was just. Maybe I was with the wrong crowd but it seemed to me that it was okay for a female to be jealous but as a guy I was supposed to hide it.
Els Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 It should have bothered you that she was highly possessive.
Touche Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 She got a "pass" because you said her jealousy didn't bother you. If it had, she wouldn't have gotten a pass, right? Nothing is an issue until it's an issue. Does that make sense? You see what I mean? Her jealousy might be a problem for the next guy and then she WON'T get a pass. And as for your jealousy, maybe for the next woman it won't be such an issue. The big "trick" to finding "the one" is finding someone you can accept "as is." Love is not enough, people. Find someone who accepts you as is as well. If you can do that AND you love each other, then you've found your partner for life. Not an easy thing, obviously. It can feel like finding a needle in a haystack.
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 My ex was highly jealous and possessive but it never really bothered me. But as soon as I got jealous I was "psycho" or her friends didn't like that I "acted like that". Double standard. Confront the issue head on and you get denial. Approach her in a concerned way and chose your words carefully. If diplomacy fails, tell her you want an open relationship because you think it would be only fair for you, since you're the jealous one lol
New Again Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I think jealousy in females is perceived as an equally unattractive quality. If she got a "free pass" it's only because you gave her one. IME pretty much everyone perceives jealousy as an unattractive quality regardless of gender.
Touche Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I think jealousy in females is perceived as an equally unattractive quality. If she got a "free pass" it's only because you gave her one. IME pretty much everyone perceives jealousy as an unattractive quality regardless of gender. Exactly...on all counts.
Adunaphel Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I am a very jealous gal, and I'd love to be with a guy as jealous as I am who might understand how I feel and might be interested in playing the "let's take extra precautions with the opposite sex in order to be less jealous of each other and build trust" game.
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