Saudade Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I've been doing NC with my ex for 5 weeks, during that time we only had one brief email between each other, in which I told him that I missed him and he choose to avoid that part of my email In the last week I've had a phone call from him playing a song to me in a busy nightclub and then apologizing for doing it the next day and then 3 text messages sent this week, his text say nothing, no kisses, no nothing apart from him just trying to talk about stuff that's happend in the world. I want to text back, I want him back, BUT I know if he really wanted me the text would say soooo much more. I cannot risk putting myself back in a situation where I'm waiting for an answer that will be no, I couldn't take that. Someone bring me back to reality. Is this him just texting because he can or is this his messed up way of saying I miss you?
redhighheels Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 If he really wanted to give you a second chance, he'd let you know. Maybe not exactly come out and text you "I want to get back together", but he'd at least try to meet you and talk about it. You said he thought about breaking up with you for 2 months. In my experience, when a man takes his time to think about it and reaches the conclusion that it's best to end it, that's it. He's fine with the decision, he's not coming back. His attempts to make contact could be because he misses you or he feels guilty about dumping you, or a combination of both. That doesn't means he wants to give it another try, though. I say stay NC and get busy moving on with your life. Reflect on the issues that he brought up during the breakup, figure out if they really are issues you should work on or just trivial excuses he used (the difference is paramount) and do your best to grow as a person. If he does decide to come back at some point, he will let you know in a way that doesn't leave any room for interpretation, but you can't put yourself on hold and wait around for that. Life's way too short.
Author Saudade Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 If he really wanted to give you a second chance, he'd let you know. Maybe not exactly come out and text you "I want to get back together", but he'd at least try to meet you and talk about it. You said he thought about breaking up with you for 2 months. In my experience, when a man takes his time to think about it and reaches the conclusion that it's best to end it, that's it. He's fine with the decision, he's not coming back. His attempts to make contact could be because he misses you or he feels guilty about dumping you, or a combination of both. That doesn't means he wants to give it another try, though. I say stay NC and get busy moving on with your life. Reflect on the issues that he brought up during the breakup, figure out if they really are issues you should work on or just trivial excuses he used (the difference is paramount) and do your best to grow as a person. If he does decide to come back at some point, he will let you know in a way that doesn't leave any room for interpretation, but you can't put yourself on hold and wait around for that. Life's way too short. Thank you so much for helping out, I think I'm going with you on this one and sticking to NC, that's what my guts were telling me, just needed someone to confirm it and you have, so thank you
redhighheels Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Most times we already know the answer, we just have a hard time accepting it. You're welcome and I'm glad I could help
brock9911 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 redhigheels is right, but he could also be fishing for a way back in. maybe he's realizing the grass isnt always greener on the other side. as a male, i would always have thoughts of doubt in my head. woundering if single life would be better than the life in a relationship. i never got a chance to fully enjoy being single, now that i am, i miss the relationship. but on the other hand, i didnt break up with my ex so its a little different. but i will say this, she has contacted me numerous times to rectify what she did and to get back together, but i kept strong and didnt respond. i miss her to death, but the lying cheating, sneaking, and constant fighting werent healthy. its your decision to make, maybe he wants you back and is just trying to find that window of opportunity. but i say dont talk until he makes things clear what his intentions are. in the meantime, go out and meat new people, its fun as sh*t.
mr.dream merchant Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Not to side track here but daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn brock, that tattoo is badass! How much did that cost?!
brock9911 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 so far, the outline and the left face colored and shaded was $450, im getting the other side colored and shaded, and the background done tomorrow, another $400. the right side is gonna be a skull all blue tones, its a fire ice theme
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Um, if you're calling, e-mailing, and texting, that is not No Contact. In fact, it's three different forms of contact! You need to stop ALL contact, cold turkey. No e-mails, no text messages, no phone calls. He is contacting you because he is bored or because he wants the ego rush of knowing that you still care. Don't give him the satisfaction and disrespect yourself in the process. He kicked you out of his life. Now go, with your head held high.
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