What's the most aggressive thing you've done/heard about to get rid of MM/MW?

[TOWinNYC]

Changing email/phone #? Going NC? Cluing in the BS about the A? Calling cops/filing harassment charges when s/he persists? (ie. when they won't leave you alone)?

 

And did it work?

[bentnotbroken]

Murder...Steve McNair. Extreme, hell yeah.

[grogster]

I ended my affair with a MW by canceling our trysts and telling her what I had written here about her and the affair. She joined, read my mostly negative posts, and that was that. Passive aggressive? You bet. Effective? Yes.

 

As for getting her totally out of my life, I simply sent her an email thanking her for ruining my marriage and advised her that when she cheated again, and she would, that she have the decency to select a single guy to limit the collateral damage.

 

That was three years ago, and I haven't heard from her since.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I foisted one MM off onto another OW by basically giving him a challenge: go for the most frigid bitch we both knew and see if he could seduce her. That worked very effectively. She gave emotionally where I refused to (not so frigid after all), so he became very attached to her and thankfully left me alone. When Dday hit, I was well out of the 'sh*t fan' range by that time.

[Lizzie60]

Changing email/phone #? Going NC? Cluing in the BS about the A? Calling cops/filing harassment charges when s/he persists? (ie. when they won't leave you alone)?

 

And did it work?

 

Nothing extreme.. I usually just tell them to leave me alone or if that's not enough.. I say I found myself a new or many new lover(s) (this one works every time).. only one I had to threaten to call his wife..

 

They are nice guys so I have no problems..

[Die Hard]

Well the mw I was seeing actually dumped me and then started calling and coming by my house seven months after the fact. I was done with her by that time and ended up having to tell her I'd call the police if she came by again. I wouldn't really have done it but saying so worked like a charm. She still calls every once in awhile but I don't answer and her calling doesn't bother me like her coming to my house did. I hate the pop-in.

[fooled once]

I ignored his phone calls and emails.

 

Except - for one time when I returned from my honeymoon (the A had ended before I started dating my H) and I had an email from him and my H wrote him back, told him to stop contacting me, that he and I were married and we both wanted him OUT of my life.

 

He has since never contacted me; and that was 11+ years ago.

[crystal_lostheart]

Just told him to f**k off and stop acting like he was something special.... That hit a nerve.....I slapped him once too in a rage of absolute anger....My goodness I look back now and things are so different now.

[OWoman]

Changing email/phone #? Going NC? Cluing in the BS about the A? Calling cops/filing harassment charges when s/he persists? (ie. when they won't leave you alone)?

 

And did it work?

 

 

When I'm done I'm done - I tell them it's over and leave it at that. They don't all get it, and sometimes you have to deal with behaviour that ranges from pathetic (sending flowers, soppy messages, etc) to extreme or downright stalkerish (dumping their Ws and faxing you divorce papers as proof, sleeping in their car outside your home, hanging around your office, etc). The pathetic is easy enough to laugh off, the extreme a little more creepy - but if you're serious about it being over, ignoring it until it goes away, or having security step in if it's creating a problem at work, is usually enough. Especially when they know you have the means to back up any threats you may feel compelled to make...

[2sure]

When I was OW I would try to arrange an exit as in introducing them to someone else. This way, I felt that I was not obliged to give them back anything they may have given me. Another way is to tell them you have developed an allergy to birth control.

[theycallmeprincess]

I ended my affair with a MW by canceling our trysts and telling her what I had written here about her and the affair. She joined, read my mostly negative posts, and that was that. Passive aggressive? You bet. Effective? Yes.

 

As for getting her totally out of my life, I simply sent her an email thanking her for ruining my marriage and advised her that when she cheated again, and she would, that she have the decency to select a single guy to limit the collateral damage.

 

That was three years ago, and I haven't heard from her since.

 

 

Forgive me for rehashing old memories, or getting off topic of this thread, but I just had some questions.

 

Why do you feel your xMW ruined your marriage, when you were a willing participant in the affair?