xpaperxcutx Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 This is a hypothetical question and doesn't necessarily apply to me. However I'm curious to know if it's plausible to have conflicting emotions and feelings when a person likes someone? What about doubts? If one begins to doubt the reasons for liking the other person, does that mean one doesn't really like them to begin with?
utterer of lies Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 This is a hypothetical question and doesn't necessarily apply to me. However I'm curious to know if it's plausible to have conflicting emotions and feelings when a person likes someone? Of course. What about doubts? If one begins to doubt the reasons for liking the other person, does that mean one doesn't really like them to begin with? No.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Of course. No. I was actually hoping for a more elaborate/detailed answer, but I suppose even a simple yes/ no answer is sufficient.
utterer of lies Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I was actually hoping for a more elaborate/detailed answer, but I suppose even a simple yes/ no answer is sufficient. Well, human emotional are very complex and very simple at the same time. Maybe you should give some more context.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Well, human emotional are very complex and very simple at the same time. Maybe you should give some more context. For example, suppose you have affections for someone who you consider the driving force for you to be a better you. Yet, it's a one sided emotional rollercoaster, and only recently you started seeing the flaws you've been blinded from, from the start. You start to question and doubt whether you can overlook their flaws and hence where the real question lie in: If you really like that person, it's completely reasonable that you will overlook their flaws completely, because it ultimately proves that feelings for that person is much more powerful than any outside influences. If the flaws continously play a role in causing you to doubt your feelings, it means you can't overlook them, yet would it be suffice to say you never really liked them to begin with simply because you merely fell in love with the idea of them?
utterer of lies Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 For example, suppose you have affections for someone who you consider the driving force for you to be a better you. Yet, it's a one sided emotional rollercoaster, and only recently you started seeing the flaws you've been blinded from, from the start. You start to question and doubt whether you can overlook their flaws and hence where the real question lie in: If you really like that person, it's completely reasonable that you will overlook their flaws completely, because it ultimately proves that feelings for that person is much more powerful than any outside influences. If the flaws continously play a role in causing you to doubt your feelings, it means you can't overlook them, yet would it be suffice to say you never really liked them to begin with simply because you merely fell in love with the idea of them? I think everyone falls in love with an idea of the other person first...then you get to know each other better and better, the idea becomes a person, and sometimes the bond strengthens, sometimes it weakens and vanishes. Some people are 'the one' only for a very specific place and time. If you truly like that person, you might be able to live the flaws. You might also truly like that person and NOT be able to live with the flaws. Overlooking them is never a good option. Try to fix them, or try to accept them, but ignoring them helps no one. You have to find out what's right for you, what amount of 'crap' you are willing to take to experience the good sides... Hope that helps...
mammax3 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 "the driving force for you to be a better you" Eek. That force is within you, always. If it's from someone else it's not really a driving force - it may be control. But back to the question at hand. Sure, you can have conflicting emotions, no one relationship progresses in an orderly linear fashion, there are ups and downs and intensity and waning emotions. As for the concept of 'flaws' (as opposed to character traits, a distinction I think is telling) if you think a person has flaws, you can't 'fix' that. The best you can do is like the person in front of you as they are, not as you wish they'd be. Then you will be liking them for the idea of them and as such, it's the idea of what they can 'do' for you (the driving force etc). No relationship will survive in a healthy way if each partner is just in it for themselves and their selfish reasons.
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