Hkizzle Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Most of the advice we give to each other is the same advice we get back from friends when we've got relationship problems. In other words, logically we know the answers to our problems, and it's clear when we're giving advice. But our emotions totally cloud our judgement when we're in the situation ourselves.
New Again Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 To be honest: I'm sure you're right, but I personally post on here for a variety of reasons (yeah, that's probably one of them), but mostly people have different opinions, and so on. I like hearing points of views and suggestions other than my own. This hasn't really happened for me yet, but I've seen it in other threads: I would LOVE if someone could offer some kind of analysis into my situation beyond advice. I don't like talking about my problems with my friends since they know the same people and I'd really rather not go there. Besides that, my friends tend to either tell me what I want to hear when I've gone to them in the past, or they think the same way I do and have nothing new to add. So, this is a good place for support also.
Thaddeus Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 ...our emotions totally cloud our judgement when we're in the situation ourselves.Yep, good point. Just another reason why one should never, ever, make any kind of life-altering decision based on emotions alone. They're erratic, unreliable and can change in a heartbeat. You've got to use your head too.
LittleGuyBigIssues Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Damn, and here i thought you should always follow your heart! I blame Disney...
Els Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I think it's because when we give advice, we can only give generic advice. We look at the information that the OP gives us, analyse it, and come to the most logical answer. There are too many things that we DON'T see or don't know about that can greatly influence what the 'best' answer might be, too. It's not just emotions that cloud things for the person that's asking for advice; it's the little things that he/she forgot to mention (and there's too many to mention anyway), dynamics of the relationship that can't be expressed in words, etc, that causes all the difference between how we look at our own problems and how we look at others'.
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Besides that, my friends tend to either tell me what I want to hear when I've gone to them in the past, or they think the same way I do and have nothing new to add. So, this is a good place for support also. Keep in mind gender biases too. Women seem to prefer someone who will just listen and tell them what they want to hear - we guys need to understand that. We guys try to solve each other's problems - try to come up with solutions and correct each other. There are always exceptions - guys who want someone to just listen and women whom are pragmatic problem solvers.
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