saira Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I have tried to date but have been unsuccessful 3 times in the last 3 years. I have this guy I've known for over 2 years now & he could be a FWB friend but not quiet it. He is the guy I run too when things dont work out.. he knows me well and knows what makes me happy or sad.. We see each other minimum once a week and during this time, he'll make dinner or we watch movies.. just hang out and chill and... well we do everything except sleep together.. we kiss, hug, cuddle, share our day events, dine, lots of touching but never in the last 2years have we had sex or anything close to that.. hence why he is not a friend with friend with benefits. today he made my breakie and since its winter there was lots of hugs... before I left 4 hours later he whispered into my ear 'u r my best friend'.. i dont know what to make of this.. p.s when we initially met it was at a supermarket and we had one date but at the time he had issues with his weight and we resulted into whats become a great friendship/the 'benefits' plus he hasnt dated anyone since but i have and he knew all details.. my question is this wrong? is there a word for this kind of alliance?
Hkizzle Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Sex can take things to another level. A lot of people say they can handle just having sex with no emotions then things change. Maybe he senses what you have now works, and doesn't want to risk having sex and spoiling that. Or maybe he's bad in bed or something , and doesn't want you to know? Why don't you just ask him upfront in a nonconfrontational manner, casually, how come the two of you do all these things together but don't have sex or not dating?
likeORIGAMI Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Too little information on what it is that YOU want. Do you want to have sex with him? Do you want him to have sex with you? Are you fine that you're not have sex? Sex. Sex. Sex. If you're just looking for a label, with the information that you've given, I would classify this as.. He's just a friend and you're leading him on. Then again, I could be COMPLETELY wrong.
boogieboy Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Yeah if theres no sex, what do YOU get out of it? Does he WANT to have sex with you? if he does, and you know it, then it is wrong, you are just using him for friendship, and he shouldnt be putting up with it.
norajane Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Why don't you just plant a big kiss on him one day? Get the ball rolling!
Enema Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 "Thanks, but what I really wanted for breakfast was some sausage". ?
Author saira Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Do you want to have sex with him? Do you want him to have sex with you? Are you fine that you're not have sex? . I dont want sex with this man and I know he doesnt want sex with me! I have never stayed over or him over at mines. On an honest note I am comfortable with how things have been last 2 years. He is like a best friend....and no he is not gay or a virgin... I would know this and he has had ex's... I mean he is in his 30's to be a late bloomer... I want nothing out of it.. No sex..what he is to me is enough and it makes the whole am single thing less lonesome as I know he is there.. P.S when he knows am having dates he never does the huggy and kissy.. he always takes a step back and he is there to talk to which is great because he is honest about things. But when things dont work out we always revert to old mannerism!
bac Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 if you both do not want to have sex with each other, i guess it is not going to be pleasant to have sex. But having sex in a situation like this can be useful for people who have very hight sexual drive or oneitis. if a female wants to have sex desperately or have the oneitis, having sex with such guy could be great to lower her sexual drive. The point is that if you have sex with a guy who is really disgusting, you will feel like vomiting after that for 1-2 days. Moreover, you will have no sex drive to anyone for a while. It is like behavioral therapy called aversive conditioning.
prettybaby Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I dont want sex with this man and I know he doesnt want sex with me! So what's the problem? You don't want sex, you're not getting sex ... I don't get your question here.
Enema Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I don't understand what he's getting out of this. You get your emotional needs met, he gets... to meet your emotional needs? Yay for him, that sounds like a good trade.
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