aloneanddepressed Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 It has been like 3 weeks since I broke up with BF. He never said goodbye or talked to me. He gave me silent treatment until I realized it was over. Anyways, even though I know my Ex was at fault, I have this horrible guilt. I tend to get depressed sometimes, so I guess I'm more likely to develop feelings of guilt. I wish I could quit analyzing what I did wrong in the relationship and what I could have done right. I wish I could prove to him that I could change my ways, and that is what is bugging me. I know at times I should have handled things differently, whether he was insensitive or not. I know I overreacted towards certain situations. I hate that I did this. I am wondering what my ex thinks, or if he really blames me for the breakup. I wonder if he knows he's at fault as well. No matter what I feel guilty and is there anyway to lessen this guilt? I have tried to send him several messages online to apologize and inform him I know where I was at fault, but i don't even know if he got it. I HATE not knowing if he got it. That is why if he would have just talked to me on the phone, but NO. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I still am thinking about sending him a letter in the mail apologizing for anything I did to bring negativity to the relationship. Of course, I don't want him to think that I think I was the only one at fault. I would tell him I'm sorry about what I did, and explain things. I would make him realize I'm aware of what I did wrong, but I'm not saying he wasn't at fault. Why do I feel the need to prove this to him? I guess I have a heavy conscious. Maybe deep down I want to get back with him.Ok, I feel pathetic and like I'm going crazy.
georgia girl Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 If there was no reason why he shouldn't have gotten your messages (such as a technological glitch), then he got them. He has let go and is just not responding. I know you feel guilty but that's because you are at the stage right now where you're looking to fix things and make your relationship work. The problem is, he deliberately pulled away until you broke up with him. It's typical passive aggressive behavior and you did exactly what he wanted you to do. The other fact of the matter is that you are human. You may have been nasty at times, but there were other times, I'm sure, when you were sweet. You're blaming yourself, again, to find a way to fix things. Don't blame yourself. There is not one perfect person in the world out there and very rarely do people deserve the hurt that comes with a relationship ending. It just happens. I know it's hard but forget about him and especially about contacting him. Contacting your ex is like a terrible, addictive drug. The momentary satisfaction you get out of a response from him is filled with hours of regret later. Let it go and do something for yourself today. Take care. We've all been there. You will recover.
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