jcandelas Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 We lived happy for 9 months then broke up after her anger over a movie we did not see- go figure, I thought we had a solid relationship going. She left in May 22 and yesterday she calls me over to her home to pick my carpentry tools which I had there while working hard on her roof [her home is in need of repair all over]. She had started evening college back in January with my full support. Well, its now an obsession she she tells me she does not have time for restarting our relationship (with me or anybody) and with public school work starting this coming Monday [she is a teacher] she says she will have even less time even to talk. How about after you finish college? Can I go to your graduation? Maybe and Maybr, I can not promise anything I have a lot of stress now, I just started my discertation, I just don't have time for you or men in my life now. I am not your enemy she says--Im your friend she says just that I don't have even time for dinner or anything with you now. So I am reduced to "just a friend" as long as I remain invisible--what does really mean? Is there any hope that she may soften or let up? She is now 60 and after not seeing her for the last two months she is being to show. I still love this woman very much, but I think I should stay away. She will be a lonely and bitter person soon. What Should I do? The florist lady told me not to buy her $80+ bouquet because to her it was very clear --she does not want you sir. She has told me that she will pay me back the $3200 I loaned her for mortgage and real estate taxes in payments. I still get calls from your mortgage co. for past due pmts. due. She will never pay me, I don't care I just want her back. I am not conceied, but it feel at times that its she who should be seeking this reconciliation. Why all the the rejection? On leaving she says "remember we're friends and I will never call the police on you if you come over. Big Question, why was does this mean. She is very stressed out, but I can offer comfort and support--she refused. Confused, help please
Thaddeus Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 She's taken your money, taken advantage of your good nature (fixing her house all up, supporting her in her evening college classes) and has put you in the friend-zone. She's wrung you dry, then rejected you. I'd bet the proverbial farm that within 6 months she'll find another guy to do exactly the same thing. So what should you do? Insist on re-payment of the loan immediately. In full. (Did you write anything up about it? Some sort of contract or repayment schedule? Please say yes, you did. If not, you might be out of luck getting your money back.) Other than that, go full-blast NC (no contact). But get your money back!
wow123 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 This is what they do. This is what we would do if we were in their position. Break up with them and keep them waiting in case we want them back. Guys really can't do that. They have something that we don't have and it rules the world. Think about it.
Author jcandelas Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Thanks for your advice. I began to see the scheme and she knew I was on to her so her little excuss to leave me was her way out and she took it even claimed to be victemized by me to her relatives. Some have admitted she is a liar. So, it's the next boozo in line for her. However, she never keeps up the front long enough to fix up everything. She is 60 now and in a few more years she must change her MO. God help us. What I allowed her to do to me is unbeleveable --I must write a novel someday.
whichwayisup Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 We lived happy for 9 months then broke up after her anger over a movie we did not see Noone breaks up over a movie. You may have been happy, but obviously she wasn't for the whole 9 months. This girl sounds like a drama queen and you're better off without her in your life.
LovesHangover Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 It amazes me how someone could be so cruel. I apologize to you even though she may not see that you deserve one, the truth and your money back. This behavior from. 60 year old woman?! Unbelievable!!!
matt1987 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 a buddy of mine and his wife always fight over the dumbest stuff possible. its not worth it if shes that immature at 60 to break up over a movie, then honestly you need to just forget about it. yah its hard, but everyone goes through it.
Author jcandelas Posted July 28, 2009 Author Posted July 28, 2009 It amazes me how someone could be so cruel. I apologize to you even though she may not see that you deserve one, the truth and your money back. This behavior from. 60 year old woman?! Unbelievable!!! Thank you for your quote. Finanlly someone notices that this behavior coming from a 60 yr. old & is outrageous & immature. She is works with retared children at a jr. h.s. and is studying to be a social worker. In the time she lived with me she never did any chores--I did all the work, cleaning, cooking, dishes, etc. She always claimed that when was married her husband could afford a maid & thats final. Just before the breakup I realized that I could tolerate most eveything except that an absant companion and best friend --which she never was. MAYBE ITS A BLESSING THAT SHE LEFT. i DON'T HER BACK. i HAVE A PH. MESS. WAITING FOR ME RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT--JUST MIGHT DELETE UNHEARD. JC
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