Spizzarky Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Soo just yesterday, this guy who I've been friends with for quite a long time and who texts me all the time came over. I'm 17 and he's 18. My mom was gone all night, so he slept over. The day started out normal, we were just sitting on the couch watching a movie. One thing led to another and we're making out on the couch, then moving upstairs... Things heated up quickly and we decided to have sex. I am, well, was, a virgin. He has experience so I figured it would be good to have him be the one. I had been feeling like I was falling for him for weeks. He was very supportive and without going into too much detail, we ended up having sex 3 times that night. He was amazing and he cared about me and the way I felt. After the first time we were laying there, cuddling, and he was very quiet. I asked what he was thinking and he said, "I'm wondering why I don't feel guilty right now...I want to, and I should, but I don't. Being with you just felt...right. Like I've done it before." I didn't know what to say. I had felt the same exact way. He ended up fighting with his girlfriend that night on the phone. I heard him say a few things about me. Like "Stop belitting my friends, like [me]. She's got all the good qualities you don't have..like she's smart and she's stable and she doesn't get everything handed to her like you do." Him sticking up for me felt good, but bitterly good. He can't leave his girlfriend because of housing issues so that makes everything even worse. We slept (literally, slept) together all night and I wake up to him saying that he had talked to his girlfriend and they were on a break. We ended up having sex for a fourth time. Afterwards, we were sitting downstairs, just talking about things. I asked him, "So, where does that leave us? Friend's with benefits? hah" He replied with "Well...I guess. I don't want our sex to feel so shallow though..." I said it hadn't felt that way for me and he agreed. He then made a comment about basically being single now. I said, "Yeah, you've got one girl waiting for you and one you're ****ing." He just kind of chuckled but didn't say anything. He left shortly after that to go to work. Now, all I feel is sadness. I miss him and I feel like I'm in love with him. This wasn't supposed to happen but it did... I don't regret the sex or the things we did, but I do regret putting myself in this position. I don't know what to do. Should I end it, cut him out of my life and try to move on? Problem with that is, I'm not so sure I can. There's an attraction between us and I don't know how to explain it. Or should I continue this, hoping he'll end up with me in the end? So difficult...
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I would end it and walk away. Let him sort out his life first before you get involved with him again. If you stay in his life this way, you will be the one hurting. Tell him you'll "date" him the proper way WHEN/IF he breaks it off with her, but take it slow. No more sex, just get to know him better.. Either way, even if he does break up with her, give him time and space for a while. Last thing you want to do is jump into a relationship so soon after he ends his current one.
norajane Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 He then made a comment about basically being single now. I said, "Yeah, you've got one girl waiting for you and one you're ****ing." He just kind of chuckled but didn't say anything.Yuck. What a tool. It's time to lock up the goodies again until he can show you he's not going to continue being the ass he's already shown himself to be. 1. If he can cheat on his gf so easily, he can do the same to you. He clearly doesn't have any conscience about such things. 2. He's pretty self-satisfied. He likes having two girls on the string. That chuckle with no comment says it all. It's all about HIM, and not so much about considering anyone else's feelings. No more sex until he gets his act together, moves out of his girlfriend's apartment, and starts treating you like a treasure. Did he send you flowers after this wonderful night where you had sex for the first time ever? No, he called his girlfriend, whom he lives with and will be with every night he's not with you. Do you see what I'm saying?
Mino Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Yuck. What a tool. It's time to lock up the goodies again until he can show you he's not going to continue being the ass he's already shown himself to be. 1. If he can cheat on his gf so easily, he can do the same to you. He clearly doesn't have any conscience about such things. 2. He's pretty self-satisfied. He likes having two girls on the string. That chuckle with no comment says it all. It's all about HIM, and not so much about considering anyone else's feelings. No more sex until he gets his act together, moves out of his girlfriend's apartment, and starts treating you like a treasure. Did he send you flowers after this wonderful night where you had sex for the first time ever? No, he called his girlfriend, whom he lives with and will be with every night he's not with you. Do you see what I'm saying?NJ, I never heard anybody getting flowers after giving up their viginity, but I do think its really a Nice idea. Let me guess , You got flowers....
norajane Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 NJ, I never heard anybody getting flowers after giving up their viginity, but I do think its really a Nice idea. Let me guess , You got flowers.... Yes, I did! But then, my first time wasn't with a dumbass who already had a girlfriend.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I didn't get flowers the day after I got my cherry popped for the first time, he took me out to a nice dinner though. Ha, and he turned out to BE an azz of a boyfriend as time went on, even though he was my first.
fooled once Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 You are 17 years old. You have a lifetime ahead of you. He has a girlfriend. He in my view, used you. He didn't break up with girlfriend - even after sleeping with you 4 times. And I hope you used protection. Find another guy who is available. In many cases, it is natural to get a crush on the person you give your virginity to; but he has a girlfriend.
Author Spizzarky Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Thank you all for your replies and advice. I decided to end this... We're still going to stay friends, but no hanging out alone and no physical. Thanks again C:
Author Spizzarky Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Oh - and fooledonce, yes, we did use protection. I'm pretty dumb, but not quite THAT dumb haha C:
Thaddeus Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 We're still going to stay friendsWrong. Wrong. Wrong. This dude is a complete waste of good skin. He does not deserve any sort of contact from you whatsoever. You were "girl of the moment" to him. Nothing more, sorry to say.
fooled once Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 VERY glad you used protection *thumbs up* But I have to agree - don't be 'friends' with him because you are vulnerable and you might allow him to use you again as a booty call the next time he and his g/f get in an arguement (and they will get in fights). Don't be the one he turns to to get his needs met.
Author Spizzarky Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Just wanted to update anyone who reads this. I took your advice and told my "friend" that he is not a part of my life anymore. I have had no contact with him for about 2 weeks now and I'm glad C:
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