aboynamedmike Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I ended things with my ex about a month ago, and it was very mutual. I brought it to her attention that we were trying way too hard for something was clearly wasn't working, and she agreed. I ended up crying so much afterwards, mainly because I hate making people cry/feel bad and she took it really hard. She loved me more than anything, but I just couldn't find it inside of me to love her back the same after she cheated on me(almost a year ago)...and thats not fair to her. I figured the best to do was to give us both space and time apart to do our own thing. She's called me a few times in the middle of the night to talk when she can't sleep but I'm always sleeping. She's texted me a few times and I text back minimal responses..I saw her for the first time yesterday and I was so glad to see her, but I tried not to show it. I pretended to act like I didn't want to talk to her, or that I wasn't TOO interested in what she's been up to, but in reality I really just wanted to talk to her for hours and hours and catch up on everything and anything. My heart is telling me to call her at some point but my head is telling me to go NC and let us both do our own thing. She told me she missed me yesterday, and I could see it in her eyes that she meant it. Part of me really wants to get back together with her, another part tells me to stay the f*ck away...ahhhhhhh! stupid girls.
georgia girl Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 If you love her and she loves you, then don't be so caught up in the drama and just get back together. Life's too short. But, if as you put in your other post, she's done something you can never recover from (she cheated on you, correct?) then let go. But decide if you can get over the infidelity first. Some couples can and go on to have great lives. Some can't. You need to decide for yourself if you can truly forgive her and trust her again. If so, what are you waiting for???
Author aboynamedmike Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 The trouble that I have with getting back together with her is that I believe I"ve fallen in love with the wrong person. I am really physically attracted to her. I also love her ability to be so caring and outgoing but I wish she were more laid back and not so wound up all the time. She's a great friend, and will never let you down. But she is really insecure and if only she could see how beautiful she is and how much she is capable of then maybe the decision would be easier. But I feel like I've tried to help her realize those things but it didn't seem to work. Maybe one more shot...
georgia girl Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Mike, It doesn't sound like you really like your ex and want your relationship back? Are you just going back for convenience? You call her outgoing and friendly and say you find her very attractive, but then you point out that you're trying to change her insecurities. Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but it sounds to me like you want to fix her? If you can't accept the person she is, perhaps you had best stay away. She's not perfect, I'm sure. But neither are you, I'm also sure. If you really love her and can accept her, then go back. If you can't, that's okay too.
Author aboynamedmike Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Georgia girl, Too often I find myself in an emotional roller coaster. One minute all I can think about is getting back together, and a few hours later, I'll be glad I"m single and looking forward to my future. When I posted this I couldn't stop thinking about her. We had just went to a concert together and reconnected after 3 weeks of not talking/seeing each other. I need to stay away from her. For her sake and mine. She makes my heart melt, but for all the wrong reasons. I know things will end up badly and will just cause us both more heartache and pain. I need to stay strong and move on. It just takes time I suppose..
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