Clover Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I have just recently found out that a friend of mine (well, who I thought was my friend) has been back stabbing and bitching about me behind my back. . I don't know what I have done wrong. I have been nothing but friendly and a good mate to this chick ??? Have only known her since March this year but. Have thought the friendship seemed to be going well, since I had met her. There is a group of 'new girls' we both hang out (I met this friend through my cousin and that is also how I found out about the backstabbing) with and I have noticed that they do leave me out on a lot in their outings and stuff. It makes sense now looking back on it, now that I know this, that this might have been the reason why they have not been including me in things. Should I confront my friend about this? Maybe even just keep her at arms length, still be friends with her and just be weary of her ??? It's the first time I have ever been in this situation, not sure how to react to it. . I do hear from this girl quite regularly so she would know somethings up if I all of a sudden start ignoring her for 'no reason' any advice will be helpful.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Confronting her is going to make it worse and she'll try to turn everyone against you. Best way of handling it, slowly distance yourself from her, stop confiding in her about anything personal. Think of her as a "fun friend", someone to laugh with and that's about it. Keep it light and non personal. Your other friends will figure out that SHE is the bitchy/backstabbing one, the less you say about it, the better. Act like you don't care what she says..I'm sure she is insecure and putting you down, saying stuff behind your back makes her feel better about herself. Or, she's just a mean person and does this to everyone, not only you.
You'reasian Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Yes, slowly distance yourself from her. Continue to be cordial and dependable to your friends and professional in your dealings - soon enough, they will start to see why this person is foaming at the mouth over you.
Author Clover Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Oh. This girl has already pretty much turned the 'new girls' against me. Hence, with me not getting invited to all their little 'outings' with them. This girl invites me out randomly to do things with her separately though and may invite some of the others here and there as well. That's why I thought she seemed pretty cool and actually liked me. . That is a very good idea. I will hang out with her for the fun aspect of it and keep it non personal and slowly phase her out. I am just lucky that I have another group of 'true friends' that I have known for years that I mainly hang out with. Still. It's not nice to be snobbed like that by the 'new girls' with them all assuming I am a certain way and judging me by what someone else says without even bothering or wanting to get to know me first.
burningashes Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Why are you even calling her a friend? Friends don't do that regardless. I would have done the fade out and moved on quickly. I would stick with the group of true friends if I were you
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