utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I think when your username is "Utterer of Lies", we should not surprised by their posts. Unconditional love can be as simple as loving someone even though he always leaves the toilet seat up or her hair always clogs the tub. Don't be so dramatic Utterer! But drama is fun. And as CaliGuy wrote, unconditional love might be ok in a religious context, but not in a human relationship.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Can you link me to your topic utterer?
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Can you link me to your topic utterer? No. That's how evil I am. Hahaha!
lorilynne Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 You don't have a topic "Utterer". You just jump around through different forums on this site spueing sarcastic comments. I teach elementary school...my advice, as I would give to all the ten year olds I teach, "Ignore it and it will go away!" We're all waiting, "Utterer"...
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 You don't have a topic "Utterer". You just jump around through different forums on this site spueing sarcastic comments. At least you recognize the sarcasm. Already puts you above the masses I teach elementary school...my advice, as I would give to all the ten year olds I teach, "Ignore it and it will go away!" We're all waiting, "Utterer"... Oh how it pains me in my heart to keep you waiting...but I spoke the truth before (as always).
moo Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I think anger is a part of healing. Yes, too much anger can be too much, but I think a substantial amount of anger when healing is normal if your heart was broken in a horrible way. I used to be angry all day, all the time. Now it just comes and goes. Some days I am angry, some days I am not and even when I am, it is not an all day thing. I think the best way to get anger out is talking about it, journaling, and/or physical exercise.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Lol utter, hide behind your humor. I see through you so easily that it would make you sick if you really faced it. Your behavior is so typical, predictable. So common. So boring. Remember how I said I bet you wouldn't post your story?... You have no idea how common your type is. Literally, utterer, about 6 out of 10 people are so much like you. The same aggressiveness, the same defense mechanisms. But tell yourself I don't know you, or what I'm talking about. That's the way your brain operates. Use humor, false logic, a one liner, or sarcasm to defend yourself now. Your empty laughs are out shadowed by intelligent people laughing back.
moo Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Thomas X I admit I could have been more sensitive in my answer to you. But the thing is, you give such good advice, I really believe the answers are within yourself. Just look and you will see them. I want you to help you, the way you've helped me and so many of us. I believe in you.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 moo, your advice to me was perfectly on track. You know me to some degree, and told me what you truly believed I needed to hear. And it is. I know the answers are within me, and so it shows intuition that you'd say what you did. You understand on a deeper level, how people work. I hope you are proud that you are this way. Thank you for believing in me. I believe in you, and all those I have extended a hand to help. I was even willing to help utterer in his own topic, but his selfishness is blinding him. I wish I could laugh at how sad it is, but I really can't. It's too common anymore.
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Lol utter, hide behind your humor. I see through you so easily that it would make you sick if you really faced it. Your behavior is so typical, predictable. So common. So boring. You have no idea how common your type is. Literally, utterer, about 6 out of 10 people are so much like you. Yet you insist on insulting me, and not anyone else of the 60% ( I guess that's again 'your definition of 60%') of people here that are near-identical clones of me. Remember how I said I bet you wouldn't post your story?... Remember how I said my story is already on this board? The same aggressiveness, the same defense mechanisms. But tell yourself I don't know you, or what I'm talking about. That's the way your brain operates. Use humor, false logic, a one liner, or sarcasm to defend yourself now. Why should I defend myself? Or even feel a need to do that? Am I being attacked? Oh, my... Your empty laughs are out shadowed by intelligent people laughing back. Indeed. Calling other people 'fool' was always the hallmark of true intelligence. And you should be grateful: your anger and the negative feelings you show towards me must have distracted you from your wallowing in self-pity and your bouts of crying, if only a little bit.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 And you should be grateful: your anger and the negative feelings you show towards me must have distracted you from your wallowing in self-pity and your bouts of crying, if only a little bit. The only part of your post that is worth mentioning. The reason I quote this and pick it out, is because I know you are speaking from experience.
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 The only part of your post that is worth mentioning. The reason I quote this and pick it out, is because I know you are speaking from experience. Truly, you are a wise man, finding out all on your own that I have emotions, too. But why do I get the feeling that those big, bold letters are an accusation?
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 After searching, your topic doesn't exist. Ironically, at least you were honest by naming yourself utterer of lies. Lol That's about the only thing making this situation original.
jen924 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I have been following this thread while another one of my own. sorry to bud in, but honestly utterer of lies sounds like a non sympathetic utterer of BS. i wouldn't mind him Thomas. i think he gets pleasure being this way. Thomas x , sorry you are having such a hard time After searching, your topic doesn't exist. Ironically, at least you were honest by naming yourself utterer of lies. Still, so predictable. This is like walking on a treadmill.
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 After searching, your topic doesn't exist. Ironically, at least you were honest by naming yourself utterer of lies. Lol That's about the only thing making this situation original. my story is on this board, that much is true, but: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2273601#post2273601
utterer of lies Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I have been following this thread while another one of my own. sorry to bud in, but honestly utterer of lies sounds like a non sympathetic utterer of BS. i wouldn't mind him Thomas. i think he gets pleasure being this way. Thomas x , sorry you are having such a hard time I do get pleasure of being myself, thank you. But I also do honestly think that some of my posts are actually helpful to people. And just because I don't think empty 'you can do it'-posts help someone focused on self-pity does should not imply I am an utterer of oxen droppings. But enough of me, lets hear it some more from Thomas X and his pain and suffering.
lorilynne Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 my story is on this board, that much is true, but: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2273601#post2273601 I hate to break it to you Utterer but that link is not to your post. It merely hints that you may have made a post previously under another name. Since you may not remember your previous usernames, here are some suggestions as they seem to fit your personality: "Speaker of BS" "Verbalizer of crap" "Articulator of filth" "Mutterer of rubbish" "Declarer of refuse" When you find your "real" original post let us know. In the meantime, you're just a troll that no one finds at all interesting. You're kind of like that guy on the street corner with the "Will work for food sign". We know we shouldn't look at you, but we do. In regards to the "help" you've given other people...go back to those threads. You'll find no one singing your praises here!
moo Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I think Utterer of Lies may be trying to help in his own way. I think he may see things differently as other people do. Utterer, I'm just curious. Why are you in this forum? Are you in pain? Do you feel alone? Do you want help, but do not know how to ask for it?
hoping2heal Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Unconditional love is an abomination? No wonder your name is utterer of lies... Such lack of empathy, though. Such lack of sympathy, such lack of feeling. Tell me utterer, how were you abused? Physically, or just mentally? Or both? Are you so negative on here because people feel the pain you don't, and that's why you're so jaded? You need to wake up more so than I do. As for you georgia, that was truly good and in depth advice. Tell me, what is the grieving process you were told? Thomas, please be mindful when you use comments like the one you did here. It's insulting to those of us who trully HAVE been abused, and aren't jaded and bitter and lacking empathy after the fact. Letting go happens when you accept the facts. It's not about who has a bigger heart or who loved more or who loved less. No, it's about accepting the truth, and that is very painful. That's why sometimes we might put it off for a very very long time. Because it hurts to lose someone we love, it hurts to accept they are gone. It's a place we would much rather not go, and many do not even after a year or several, that's why you see them here posting about their exes behaviors, analysing their past interactions to the core. They don't want to accept that it is over and never will be again, it's like trying to swallow a pill the size of a watermelon. It's overwhelming and it takes your breath away sometimes. She's gone and she's never coming back, ever. You will never have with her what you once had, it's over. Hanging on, crying over her, wistfully thinking about her with adoration? She doesn't know you do any of that and she wouldn't be moved by it if she did. This is not a movie, there is no sentimental song playing on montage while the two of you are apart in your respective worlds, all the while she knows you're thinking of her and vice versa. That isn't what's going on. It never will be again. That doesn't mean this is the end of the line for you though Thomas, one day you will meet someone else (no really, you will) and they won't be like your ex, they won't BE your ex, and that will be okay. You'll form a new bond, you'll make new memories, and you'll have a new chance to fall in love; to love and be loved. But the ship between you and your ex has sailed, and it's never returning to dock.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Sorry, hoping. I didn't mean to offend you. That's the last thing I would aim for. I know of course not everyone who was abused, suffers with a disorder as a result. Some people learn to adapt and actually become stronger for it. It's just so hard for me to accept she's gone because I already accepted it after we broke up. Then she contacts me and we go on a date. She breaks down crying, saying she still loves me. She said she wanted to go on vacation, and thinking about how much she misses me and loves me, makes her cry. Then for the following few days, she kept saying it. Then out of nowhere, probably because her mom talked to her and told her she was too young to be tied down, she became wishy washy again. Do you know why it's so hard to let go of someone who after not speaking to them for so long, pops back up, kissing you, crying for you, telling you they still love you? It's not like it was a clean break and that was it. She didn't break up with me because she didn't love me. That's why it's so hard.
gavinus Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Thomas u have to let your ex go!!! IF she REALLY, REALLY, wanted to be with you she would, nothing would stop her in this world! Not her mom, not her friends, not anybody! U have to move on becuase this is destroying you, look after yourself!
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 agree wit gavinus but it is hard to let go though as much as u might want to the point is we all hurt inside but be strong continue NC if she wants u then she will come later i am a firm believer in getting an ex back esp. if u were a good man not a nice guy however. for us guys we need to stop being nice guys and be real men take charge of ur life and ur emotions know what u want and go get it. but u are in control not her so slap urself and let's do THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
hoping2heal Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Sorry, hoping. I didn't mean to offend you. That's the last thing I would aim for. I know of course not everyone who was abused, suffers with a disorder as a result. Some people learn to adapt and actually become stronger for it. It's just so hard for me to accept she's gone because I already accepted it after we broke up. Then she contacts me and we go on a date. She breaks down crying, saying she still loves me. She said she wanted to go on vacation, and thinking about how much she misses me and loves me, makes her cry. Then for the following few days, she kept saying it. Then out of nowhere, probably because her mom talked to her and told her she was too young to be tied down, she became wishy washy again. Do you know why it's so hard to let go of someone who after not speaking to them for so long, pops back up, kissing you, crying for you, telling you they still love you? It's not like it was a clean break and that was it. She didn't break up with me because she didn't love me. That's why it's so hard. Thomas, on a daily basis I am lectured about my current partner. He is a wonderful, wonderful guy. Beyond wildest dreams compassionate, funny and so caring. They just complain out of ignorance. It doesn't matter to me, he is a good man and I will defend him to the death because I love him and I know he deserves that. I hear the "you're young, you could have it easier bla bla bla" line of BS from my parents too. I respect that they love me and just want the best for me, but that doesn't always make them right. In this case, they are not. When you really love someone, mountains won't stop you. Cliche? Maybe, but true. This girl may of still had feelings for you, but if she allowed someone else to talk her out of being with you and was wishy washy, they weren't in love kind of feelings. When my last ex and I broke up, I thought I would never get over it. To make matters worse, he wrote me after the split to tell me "you have no idea how much I love you or how much pain I am in." I fell for it then because it's what I wanted to believe. But the truth of the matter? Bull****, if he was so in love with me he would of been with me. Period. I let those words keep me hanging on for far too long. Actions speak louder than words, I will never again fall for that line about how someone loves me but won't be with me. Never. When you're in love with someone, trully nothing can stop that force or take it away from you.
Thornton Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I will tell you my story Thomas. Not the story about the ex I am currently cut up about, but the story about the first guy I loved. We were teenagers and I never got over him dumping me; even though I dated several other people afterwards I never really loved them, because I was comparing everyone unfavourably to him. I still lived in hope that we would eventually get back together, hope which was fuelled by the fact that he would occasionally contact me and ask to meet for coffee, express an interest in my life, and on occasions when we met up and we were both single he kissed me. I lived with a couple of guys, I even got engaged, but my heart wasn't in it - I knew I didn't care for any of those guys the way I cared about my ex, and I knew that what I had was second best. I didn't get over him until I met someone else who I fell in love with. I pined for my ex for eleven years, and then suddenly I met this guy with a beautiful smile and all of my feelings for my ex just vanished in an instant. I thought I had no feelings for other guys because I still loved my ex, but really it was just that I hadn't met anyone else who I liked as much as my ex. As soon as I met someone else who I actually liked, my feelings for my ex just vanished in an instant. Then of course, guy number 2 did the dirty on me and vanished, leaving me pining after him. But I'm grateful to him in a weird sort of way for releasing me from pining after my ex, even if I just switched to pining after him instead. I know now that it is possible for me to love someone else, and that my emotions can't be trusted - now that I'm no longer in love with my ex, I can finally see all the reasons why our relationship wasn't right for me, reasons that were previously obscured by my emotions. I can also see all the reasons why this other guy isn't right for me either, and I know that loving him is a stupid emotional reaction which isn't at all sensible or good for me, a reaction which I need to learn to control, and some day I'll be able to accept that breaking up with him was the right thing. I realised that I had the wrong attitude about relationships all along. I was so focused on this particular guy being my world that I had built all my hopes and dreams around him, so when I lost him I lost my entire life and all my hopes and dreams too. I figured out that relationships shouldn't be that way - I need to be myself as an individual, have my own hopes and dreams, and then let someone else into my life to share what I have with them. Then, if I lose that person I only lose them, not my entire life and future too. So I'm working on trying to be myself again, the "me" I was before I started dating, the "me" I remember being as a teenager, before I started focusing myself too much on the person I was dating. Perhaps you need to do the same - focus on being yourself and doing things that make you happy, find your own dreams which don't require someone else to fulfil them. I sort of feel like I don't need anyone else any more, because I have "me" now - I'd like to have someone else around, but I don't need them any more, and that's a big change for me.
Exit Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Christ, hearing that it's possible to miss someone for 11 years does not make me feel good. I'm not even going to bother seeing other girls cuz I know it'll be the exact same for me, none of them will compare. Honestly I would rather die right now than know that I have 10 years of suffering ahead of me.
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