TeddyB Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I've been in a 2.5 year relationship with someone who has a some pros and cons. I will try and not be bias and tell you all the good and the bad. Substitute he for she if your a guy because I want guys perspective as well. Good: We both have the same goals in life so we know that we would be a successful team in together. WHen I need it he helps me financially and supports all my ideas. When I am feeling discouraged he is the one who reminds me of all my blessings. He cares about my success in life just as much as I do and does everything he can to help whether its financial or emotional. He pushes me to do my best in everything. He talk about us in the long term. He's talked about what our children would look like. He says he never thought he would love me the way he does. Bad: In the past he has lied to me a lot and various (2) women have been in the picture. I don't think he has ever had sex with them because one of them he lied to me about who she was, stating she was a friend (not true an ex) and the other a classmate. I spoke to both women and they did not know he was in a relationship. I have sporadically caught him lieing.As a result i do not trust him and partly am scared to trust him again. My father has a lieing problem and I see what it can do to relationships. We have been on a break for about a month now and 2 weeks ago he started seeing a therapist to address his lieing. He did this because I asked him to do it. Even though we are on a break, ever since we he started seeing the therapist, we talk daily even if its just for 5 min. I still get incredibile jealous over other women because I feel like its an attack on me and what we're trying to fix. I don't know if these girls know he is in a relationship because in the past he never said anything to them. He is on all social networks and I have always asked him to put he is in a relationship but he refuses. Now that he has been seeing the therapist. I am just exhausted of dealing with my own feelings of jealously. So want to call it quits. He wants us to get back together so that he can give me the assurance that I need in all aspects of my life. He keeps saying that he needs me and he needs my help, That he doesn't want to do this alone. He said he's in love with me and will do whatever it takes to make this work. I am hesitant because I don't want to get hurt again and then I will feel like he let me down again. I wonder if seeing the therapist will make a difference. Would you give the relatioship another chance? P.S We've been in a long distance relationship for 1.5 years out of the 2.5 yrs we;ve been together.
JustLooking123 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I would not. He cheated on you. You will not be able to trust him fully ever again. There are men out there who will NOT do that to you - why bother staying with one who has? Sure, it's great that he's seeing a therapist, but it also sounds like he's not fully committed to changing, since he is still on the networking websites. Even if therapy helps him, it will probably be a long process. Move on.
fallendisguise Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I agree as well. Don't. You will always have that little voice of doubt in the back of your head, wondering when/if he'll do it again, regardless of he is successful in his therapy.
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