deltic68 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 [sIZE=4]I have just finished with my girlfriend after six months. No rows, no disagreements or anything that one can put a finger on. She just said that she wanted to be on her own, as she wasn't spending enough quality time with her son. Fair enough I thought. So I parted with her. Trouble is, she constantly wants to see me and still go out places like we used to. She is always inviting me round in the evening just for company. I have made it quite clear to her, that I need to move on, and eventually find another partner. She will not sever contact. She still sends me txt messages and rings me every day. She clearly does not like the fact that i am now going out with my mates and mixing with other girls. I can't work her out at all. I would still get back with her, if she wanted that, but she now has told me that she fancies her boss (who she has gone out for meals with a few times). However, he is gay. He was divorced from his wife 4 years ago, because of his homosexuality. Advice guys please.[/sIZE]
True2form Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Well it's obvious...she's finished with you, maybe thinking she had a better option elsewhere but it backfired as it usually does. Or maybe she did want to be alone. Or stretching a little further into the way women work, sometimes we initiate a break up to see if the guy REALLY wants us. Hopefully he'll go "No no no! I dont want to break up, you're amazing" unfortunately, usually it ends up in "yeah, we haven't really been working have we?" (I'd like to add, I've never tried this approach but my friends have and it's weird...) AND NOW...she's all like "Oh ****." but is too proud to say it to you straight, so she's going the back route with the whole calling you up, hanging out and yes, getting jealous you're mixing with another crowd so she's panicked and gone "I fancy someone else!" probably trying to make you react. I would never EVER tell my ex I fancied someone, unless it was to piss him off. I couldn't tell my first ex for ages I was seeing someone else, because we'd had such a nice relationship and a calm, mutual break up. When my friend told a more recent ex that I had a new boyfriend and he got really upset I felt a huge sense of satisfaction... horrible I know... but he did break up with me like an immature brat... I'm a LADY!! Yes, women are evil. We have training camps for this stuff ^^
Author deltic68 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Thanks True2Form. Good to get a female point of view. I have sent her a txt message last night, basically saying that I wish her luck with her new boyfriend, but I want her to sever all contact with me, as I need to move on, and eventually meet someone new. She replied today, saying. That would be so sad, as you are my best friend and I will miss seeing you so much. I have just sent a reply saying, that's the way it's going to be. Oh, one thing I forgot to add. A few weeks ago, I was just starting to get on quite well with a previous ex girlfriend of mine. This one soon put pay to that by contacting her on my mobile phone when I was in the loo. She basically told her to stop wasting her time, as we were still seeing each other on a daily basis. That obviously put pay to any reconcilliation with my other ex.
stepka Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 well deltic, if you really do like the girl, why not assume that true2form is right about the games and tell her you really like her. It'll either drive her away, which is what you want anyway if she doesn't like you back, or it will bring her back better than ever. It's worth a try--either way you can't lose, except a little face if it doesn't work out in your favor. It may be that she really wants you back and is afraid to say so. This all of course, is assuming that you want her back.
Author deltic68 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][sIZE=2][COLOR=black]Stop press..... My ex turned up at my house this morning in tears. This gay bloke that she is falling for, has made several arrangements to meet her, then cancelled at the last moment. He has now told her that he is not gay, he just tells the girls that to keep them from his money. Oh, and apparently he is a multimillionaire with properties dotted around the globe. He only sees her if he arranges to meet her out somewhere and he has never taken her to any of his "so called" homes. I have told her that it all sounds too suspicious, but love is blind and despite what I say, she still thinks he is just a very busy guy. Now I'm not stupid, and I suspect a bull****ter here, but obviously I can not say that, because it sounds like me slagging him off, so that I can try and get back with her. [/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]
Woggle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I would just cut this woman out of your life. She is playing emotional games with both you and this gay man and you should have no part of it. You are the backup and plan b just in case the gay guy doesn't work out for her which he won't because he is gay. Be glad she broke up with you because she did you a favor.
Author deltic68 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Just had a call from her best mate. She has found out today, that this gay guy is a confidence trickster. Everything he told her is a lie, and she is now up the pub getting very drunk and very upset. I have sent her a txt to say that I am sorry to hear about it, but as far as trying to get her back, I am happy staying at arms length.
Woggle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Just had a call from her best mate. She has found out today, that this gay guy is a confidence trickster. Everything he told her is a lie, and she is now up the pub getting very drunk and very upset. I have sent her a txt to say that I am sorry to hear about it, but as far as trying to get her back, I am happy staying at arms length. Let her drown her sorrows by herself.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 God why are you texting this woman, you need to go NC with her and her friend! move on.
whichwayisup Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 She isn't thinking of your feelings, just hers. She won't leave you alone when you've asked her, that you can't handle any friendship, and she isn't respecting your wishes. Stop answering her calls, texts, emails. Just go no contact and she will eventually get the 'silence' means for her to leave you alone.
Author deltic68 Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 It has now sunk in that this girl is just keeping in the picture as a back up. She sent a txt to me last night to say that she was at a night club, very drunk and very upset, and could I pick her up and let her stay round my house. It was very difficult, but I sent her a reply saying "No, I can't. Give your new boyfriend a call instead. Leave me to get on with my life now."
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Ignore her. You give her power by continuing to talk to her. Don't respond to her texts, and do not answer the phone if she calls. She has stated where she stands and she's USING you. Stop giving in to her nonsense.
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