Thaddeus Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Women are far more likely to look at the whole package rather than focus on one dimension and rarely get to choose between the "perfect" guy who just happens to be 5'5" and the "loser" guy who's 6'2".Well, you may be right when you see a guy in person, but when you filter out men on a dating site by using specific height parameters, then you never even get a chance to see the rest of the guy's profile.
Phateless Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Well, you may be right when you see a guy in person, but when you filter out men on a dating site by using specific height parameters, then you never even get a chance to see the rest of the guy's profile. Exactly. The only reason we think he should embellish his height a bit is to slip by the filters.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Adding an inch or two isn't drastic, and shouldn't be categorized as a full blown lie. Statistically speaking (from the OP's info) if it will increase his chances of getting more dates, who are we to judge his decision to seek out such successes? Just as weight is sometimes flexible one day from the next, a person's height may look different form a visual point of view. One could look slightly taller first thing in the morning, just as one could be 1 or 2 lbs lighter when on the scale. It's true the idealism of certain people play a bigger role when it comes to such superficial things but we can't blame them. We can only choose to seek out what we consider the best way to go about things, even if it may go against certain morals and altruism.
Phateless Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 A two inch embellishment for someone standing 5'4" is just over a 3% exaggeration. That's pretty minor. To use the correlating analogy, if a girl tells me she weighs 140 and actually weighs 144, I would not give a flying F over 4 lbs. It's still a 3% increase. Hell, if she told me she was a C cup and turned out to be a B, I'd be irritated that she lied but I wouldn't actually care one way or the other. If she felt she needed to do that to get a first date with me then so be it. OP, I think you're definitely safe to say 5'6". EDIT - Out of curiosity I just asked a few girls I know, and the consensus is that an inch is no big deal but more than that gets tricky. Two said that as long as their height is close to yours they don't care. It's all about the guy. One of them said he has to be taller than her. OP, I think you're worrying about this more than you need to. This falls under the category of self-limiting beliefs. Work out and bulk up, I'm sure that will help.
redhighheels Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Well, you may be right when you see a guy in person, but when you filter out men on a dating site by using specific height parameters, then you never even get a chance to see the rest of the guy's profile. As I mentioned before, women receive plenty of emails and they rarely search for men, so the ball is still in the men's court. I personally don't filter men based on height because I'm quite short myself, and even the average men are still taller than me. I think it all boils down to preferences. For instance, I prefer men who have college education, don't have children, are smokers and so on. These are my preferences and I don't have to explain or apologize for them. It is what it is. We all have preferences and we all reject people based on them every single day. What I do find hypocritical though is when both men and women start pointing the finger at the opposite sex and accuse it of being shallow, when they do the same thing. I guess it's only shallow when you're on the receiveing end.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 What I do find hypocritical though is when both men and women start pointing the finger at the opposite sex and accuse it of being shallow, when they do the same thing. Exactly. Every one of these guys bitching at women for having a height requirement has a corresponding weight requirement for women (or other appearance-based requirement). It wouldn't matter how successful, charming, loving, or awesome the woman was -- above a certain weight, she wouldn't make the cut. And actually, men have height requirements, too. How many of you would date a woman who's 6'0"+? Many women have a lower height limit -- don't you have an upper height limit?
D-Lish Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Listen guys- 2 inches isn't just a slight exaggeration- it will be noticeable upon meeting face to face! Why bother embellishing if you'll get caught when you meet? The first thing I would think is- "he lied about his height"... and that would set the date off in the wrong direction. I just don't think that lying about something that will be glaringly obvious upon the first meeting is a good way to go about it.
Author theumlaut Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 Phateless: "OP, I think you're worrying about this more than you need to. This falls under the category of self-limiting beliefs. Work out and bulk up, I'm sure that will help." Working out/bulking up won't help in this case because, while I've talked the height thing in general, the main topic I'm addressing regards personals site height filtering done by most women. This has been an exercise in "thinking about" something spurred by a dating advisor comment and the subsequent research I did. I'm not sure how much worry I've expressed or engaged in; I'm resigned to reality nand have been for decades now. The analysis I've done isn't born of worry, but intellectual curiosity and musing to hear other’s thoughts about dating and personals ads in general. Ruby Slippers: "Every one of these guys bitching at women for having a height requirement has a corresponding weight requirement for women (or other appearance-based requirement)." Where did I state one? Not me. I explained my search process. Ruby Slippers: "And actually, men have height requirements, too. How many of you would date a woman who's 6'0"+? Many women have a lower height limit -- don't you have an upper height limit?" I don't care at all, as I stated previously. I'm sure I'm driven by having given the matter great thought based on being very short and dealing with women’s height preferences. It makes no difference in any meaningful, practical way. It's irrelevant. Would I prefer a 5'2" woman over a 6'0" woman were the former to give a horrible blank-job while the latter a great one? No way. That criterion definitely matters and would be, to put a fine point on it, dispositive.
Phateless Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Exactly. Every one of these guys bitching at women for having a height requirement has a corresponding weight requirement for women (or other appearance-based requirement). It wouldn't matter how successful, charming, loving, or awesome the woman was -- above a certain weight, she wouldn't make the cut. And actually, men have height requirements, too. How many of you would date a woman who's 6'0"+? Many women have a lower height limit -- don't you have an upper height limit? Agreed. The flipside however, is that weight can be changed. Height cannot. Listen guys- 2 inches isn't just a slight exaggeration- it will be noticeable upon meeting face to face! Why bother embellishing if you'll get caught when you meet? The first thing I would think is- "he lied about his height"... and that would set the date off in the wrong direction. I just don't think that lying about something that will be glaringly obvious upon the first meeting is a good way to go about it. True. 2 inches is too much.
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