sedona Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 My first reaction after just having read the headline was: NO, don't lie!!! But then I read the post, and you know what? It makes sense. Why let a single inch stand in the way of true happiness? Women might very well reject someone out of hand based on the height criterion, or design a search that wouldn't even bring your profile up so they'd never have the chance to read it. Plus, don't forget -- very few women show up on the first date with a tape measure, so odds are it would go unnoticed. And if it does come up, then confess and explain why you did it, just like you do here. Sure, you might meet women who will think "Well, if he'd lie about an inch, then what else will he lie about?!?", but then you might not want to be with someone like that anyway! If it doesn't come up, then what better story could you have at the wedding festivities?? And here's a confession for you: I'm not 160 cm like I once wrote in my profile. I'm only 159 cm, which made me fall into a lower category. Only when someone wrote me and said he was afraid of meeting a shrimp (my words, not his) did I realize that the height category was a problem.
CarrieT Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 How recent was his photo and how do you know it's him? I don't know -- it was literally last night and he hasn't even responded to my wink.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I don't care if most people lie on dating sites -- that doesn't make it OK for you to do it, too. If I met a guy who had lied about his height, or anything else on his profile, even by just an inch, I would not trust him and would not date him because of that. If the guy can lie right from the get-go, what's to stop him from lying about any number of other things? The right woman for you will see past your height to your other great qualities. I'm tall, and I dated a man an inch shorter than I. If a man has the right cocktail of personality, intelligence, and similar interests, I don't rule him out for being a little shorter.
whimsical_memory Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I don't care if most people lie on dating sites -- that doesn't make it OK for you to do it, too. If I met a guy who had lied about his height, or anything else on his profile, even by just an inch, I would not trust him and would not date him because of that. If the guy can lie right from the get-go, what's to stop him from lying about any number of other things? The right woman for you will see past your height to your other great qualities. I'm tall, and I dated a man an inch shorter than I. If a man has the right cocktail of personality, intelligence, and similar interests, I don't rule him out for being a little shorter. AMEN!!! Exactly what I was thinking!! If someone can lie about something (and in my eyes there are no small or big lies....a lie is a lie is a lie) from the get-go, what is going to make me believe that they are going to be truthful about anything else?
Lizzie60 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Oh come on.. now.. he's not saying he's 6'2'' for Petes' sake... he's just adding an inch here and there..
sedona Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Oh come on.. now.. he's not saying he's 6'2'' for Petes' sake... he's just adding an inch here and there.. Yes, and there's that old saying about living in glass houses and not throwing stones... So theumlaut, you have a lot of input. What do you think now?
crosswordfiend Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Here's the risk you run: You meet a woman, who genuinely liked YOU, and couldn't care less if you were 5', then you meet, she realizes you lied, so she dumps you for the untruth. If my read of the situation is correct, there's no much risk of this happening since the OP is being automatically filtered out because of his height. If he lied, at least he might get an opportunity meet a woman, any woman, and work his charm.
Thornton Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Usually I would say go for a woman who likes you for your personality regardless of your height. But the fact is, in online dating people do searches for their preferred height range and might not ever come across your profile, or they might read it but be turned off by your height. The same women might really like you once they got a chance to know you. So I would suggest wearing lifts in your shoes and adding a couple of inches to your height on your profile. Personally I'd search for guys 5ft6 and above, because I'm 5ft6 and I don't want a guy who's shorter than me; I'd prefer a guy to be at least a couple of inches taller than me (i.e. 5ft8) but I'd be prepared to give any guy a chance as long as he's at least my height. So I'd suggest saying you're about 5ft6 on your profile, and then message girls on the site who are your height or shorter - in practice most women won't mind your exact height in person, as long as you're at least their height (I know some women will date shorter guys, but it's not so common).
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Oh come on.. now.. he's not saying he's 6'2'' for Petes' sake... he's just adding an inch here and there.. I have found that people who tell "little" lies in the beginning tell little lies all throughout the relationship, and sometimes those little lies get bigger. I don't tolerate dishonesty at all. I am one of those rare individuals who says she doesn't lie and really doesn't. If you are living a life of good ethics and you are square with yourself, there's never a need to lie.
Bayern Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I think most women will be pissed off if they find out you are lying. I doubt they'd even be able to tell the differences (if he did only 2 inches). Real shame, but sometimes life deals you some crap. Nothing really you can do about women's taste. Bad situation. Good luck.
IcemanJB Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Yes, it's only adding 1 inch. Yes, she probably won't even notice. Everyone (probably) does it. So what? BUT, you're NOT 5'5". You're 5'4". I'm not going to sit here and lecture you about right and wrong, but if it were me, I wouldn't lie about petty stuff like this. Some people may call it stubbornness, but I prefer to call it living by principle. I do have an online dating profile and have myself listed at 5'6". Actually, I'm slightly taller than that but who the hell cares? If a girl automatically rules a guy out because of his height, WHY would you manipulate the situation to "fit" her criteria? That has bad news written all over it. Oh, and I'm meeting with a girl tomorrow that I've been talking to on the phone/through a dating site. I've been 100% straight up with her about everything so far, and honestly it leaves me feeling relaxed and with 0 inhibitions. I've NEVER been this calm before a 1st date before. If I had lied about something on my profile, it would be a different situation. ok, done with my rant.
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 OP.. wear those 'Kiss' high heels boots (4'' platform) and put a big potato in your underwear (front lol).. now.. you're all set.. Go ahead.. never mind those who say you can't lie.. go ahead..those little white lies will be forgotten once she falls into your arms..
bac Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Be flexible and adapt to reality. If you hate to lie, do not lie. Then check the results. If there is no dates with this strategy, you have nothing to lose. So go ahead and try to lie a little. Then check the results. Many people lie on match about many things. Truthfully, many people lie everywhere. I met men in 40s on match. who was not truthful about having kids, living with mother and other things.
redhighheels Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 So many tell little white lies in their profiles, it truly is amazing. I think that if you can just be honest about yourself, you're going to score a lot more points with women when you do meet them. Men who don't actually lie about their height? Hell, I'd pay to see one! Personally, it bothers me to no end, especially since it's something so obvious! I really don't get how men can be that stupid and assume they're going to get away with it. I'm not sure if it matters if your profile shows up in women's searches since the majority of women don't even bother contacting men first, so the ball is in your court anyway.
boogieboy Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I'm tall, and I dated a man an inch shorter than I. If a man has the right cocktail of personality, intelligence, and similar interests, I don't rule him out for being a little shorter. A whole INCH?? WOW youre a rebel....
loveslife Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I've found with online dating that people are generally looking for what looks good on paper. They're looking for an image first and foremost. For some reason, I don't have a lot of luck with Match, etc. while guys IRL are very often attracted to me. Go figure. So I decided to stop trying the online dating sites. If I were you I'd report the "dating expert professional" to her superiors at Match and leave the service. If you can't be yourself then why bother? I mean, really. I used to work in film production. People would send him headshots (photos) for consideration in projects I did. Much of the time when the person walked in the door they looked nothing like their photo. It was extremely annoying because in film you are loooking for a visual image. I used to say that it was also dumb of the actors because they wouldn't get called for a role they were right for and they just wasted everyone's time. So you're not 6'0, so what. I'm not a 25 year-old hottie. We'll both survive AND find love. Why don't you take the time you're spending in Match and put it into finding a group association you'd like to join. A a woman the old-fashioned way maybe? Oh, and for what it's worth, I'm 5'5" and of my serious boyfriends one was my height, one was a couple of inches shorter and one was 5'8". I met them all in-person. One more thing - what criteria are you entering? Are you looking for a woman ten years younger?
BobSacamento Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Yo it's online dating. Everyone lies. Women refuse to post full body shots so I think men can lie about their height. Buy some nice boots with a nice tall heel. So even if you say your 5'6" your not really lying. Also I would measure your height again. I thought I was 5'10" for a while and recently measured myself to find out I was really 5'11".
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 So many tell little white lies in their profiles, it truly is amazing. I think that if you can just be honest about yourself, you're going to score a lot more points with women when you do meet them. Men who don't actually lie about their height? Hell, I'd pay to see one! Personally, it bothers me to no end, especially since it's something so obvious! I really don't get how men can be that stupid and assume they're going to get away with it. I'm not sure if it matters if your profile shows up in women's searches since the majority of women don't even bother contacting men first, so the ball is in your court anyway. Well that's the whole point of his thread... he DOESN'T meet anyone because he's honest.. therefore he will NOT score more points.. his score is 0 right now.. geezzz.. people relax... this is not a life and death situation... he lies about one or two inches on his profile... wwwhooooooo big deal... most if not ALL women lie about their weight.. and more.. Do you take the measuring tape out when you meet someone.. because you'd never tell if the guy lied if it's only 2 inches.. and he wears heels.. come on now... this is ridiculous.. OP... never mind what they say... LIE... try it at least and come back with an update.. who knows you might find the love of your life..
Chicago_Guy Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I personally think that on-line dating sucks, and it must be terrible for someone who is 5'4". One of my friends was complaining about this recently because woman who were maybe 5'2" listed a requirement that their date be at least 6' tall. I wouldn't lie about height if I were you. I used eHarmony in the past and met a girl who only had a face shot and claimed that she ran a lot. I run myself, so I assumed that she would probably have a typical runner's build. However, when I saw her in person I was very disappointed because she was pretty fat - if she runs, she must run miles at an extremely slow pace with frequent walking breaks.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Well that's the whole point of his thread... he DOESN'T meet anyone because he's honest.. therefore he will NOT score more points.. his score is 0 right now.. geezzz.. people relax... this is not a life and death situation... he lies about one or two inches on his profile... wwwhooooooo big deal... most if not ALL women lie about their weight.. and more.. Do you take the measuring tape out when you meet someone.. because you'd never tell if the guy lied if it's only 2 inches.. and he wears heels.. come on now... this is ridiculous.. OP... never mind what they say... LIE... try it at least and come back with an update.. who knows you might find the love of your life.. I'm guessing that you must lie to men yourself if you don't see anything wrong with the OP telling blatant lies in his online profile.
Bejita463 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I would not want to be with someone I had to tell a lie, any lie, to be with. An inch is insignificant, and it will not matter if you make that embellishment. The issue for me would be that I'd be pandering to the whims of someone who is being petty over a detail that is insignificant to me. Perhaps it is significant to them, and that is fine, but it is not to me. There are plenty of women out there who don't play games or follow "rules." I prefer the honest and upfront type myself. If that means weeding people out because they don't like my height, hair color, or preferred manner of dress... good. Saves me time and money that might end up wasted on a doomed date anyway. I doubt anyone would hold you to task over lying about an inch. Probably not even 2. I just don't think the concept in general is a particularly good idea, as for me it would risk attracting the wrong type of person for me.
bac Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I am on match. and I am quite short. Therefore I meet mostly short guys. All my short guys were not less than 5.7-5.8 in their profiles. When I meet them, I do not measure them in the coffee shop or even later. I mean their height. How do I know what their real height is? Of course I do not know. I just can see that they are short. By the way, I do not answer on match to guys who shorter than 5.7 in their profiles. What I typically worry about is if they are OK with me wearing heels? I really love to wear shoes with high heels but I am afraid the short guy would feel uncomfortable to be shorter than me? How would you feel? Am I correct about that?
Lizzie60 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I'm guessing that you must lie to men yourself if you don't see anything wrong with the OP telling blatant lies in his online profile. OMG .. I can't believe this.. 'blatant lies'... WOW... he is adding ONE or TWO inches to his height.. and to answer your question.. YES I DO LIE... LIKE MOST PEOPLE ON ONLINE DATING SITES.. surprise!!!!!
IcemanJB Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 OMG .. I can't believe this.. 'blatant lies'... WOW... he is adding ONE or TWO inches to his height.. and to answer your question.. YES I DO LIE... LIKE MOST PEOPLE ON ONLINE DATING SITES.. surprise!!!!! I don't see what was so ground-shaking about Chicago's post. He simply stated facts. Settle down a little!
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Another thing to consider is that a woman who would accept your "white lies" is a woman who is comfortable telling white lies herself. And one person's definition of "white lie" may be grossly out of proportion to another's.
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