Zapbasket Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 My partner broke up with me last Monday and wants me out of his house by the end of next week. I moved across the country to be with him exactly one year ago. I paid for my move myself. I left a lucrative job to be with him on his timetable (I wanted to wait until the end of 2008 when I had more money saved). I am now depleted in my savings and estimate I have only three to four months that I can stay in this city to try to find a job (I've been researching and applying to jobs all year and was unable to secure one). If I can't find one, I will have to return to where I moved from and start over. I don't want to do that. What are my rights in this situation? Are there any laws regarding timeframe that one must move out in a cohabitation situation between romantic partners, if the home owner breaks up with the cohabiting partner and asks her to leave?
Trialbyfire Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Sorry to hear about this, GC. I'm no lawyer but in some jurisdictions, he technically has to evict you like a tenant, with 30 days notice clocked off from the first of the next full month. You might want to put the state you live in, so the appropriate lawyer can give a more definitive response.
sb129 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Oh GC- can't give you any legal advice, but I am really sorry to hear about this. I have been in your situation before and it bites, it really does.
BUENG1 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 My partner broke up with me last Monday and wants me out of his house by the end of next week. I moved across the country to be with him exactly one year ago. I paid for my move myself. I left a lucrative job to be with him on his timetable (I wanted to wait until the end of 2008 when I had more money saved). I am now depleted in my savings and estimate I have only three to four months that I can stay in this city to try to find a job (I've been researching and applying to jobs all year and was unable to secure one). If I can't find one, I will have to return to where I moved from and start over. I don't want to do that. What are my rights in this situation? Are there any laws regarding timeframe that one must move out in a cohabitation situation between romantic partners, if the home owner breaks up with the cohabiting partner and asks her to leave? I'm not a lawyer and this isn't legal advice but this is how I think it works. Yes you are at least given rights as a "tenant at will" which varies from state to state. Which notice is necessary is different from state to state. For the most part it is 30 days notice and then he has to evict you. Though you don't wan't to get evicted, it will be very bad for your credit and will make it much harder to find an apartment. It's my understanding that evictions can be expensive(lawyers) and take a long time, so you should just ask him for more time. He can't just change the locks. I don't know anything about any type of common law spouse or other claims for damages you can claim, I'd imagine it has to do with how long you have been together and if he made any kind of promises. For specifics google "tenant rights" "eviction" "your state". If your not in the US I really have no knowledge of how it works in any other country.
moo Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 See if there are any law schools you can get too. Some Law schools have law clinics where they help people for free. Contact social services to see if they can recommend a place for you to go to for free legal advice. Also, If you are in US, contact Legal Aid. you can put legal aid and your state in google. This is the hotline for Legal Aid society in New York. It's called homeless familiy hotline, but they also help adults. You can ask them about getting help in the area you are in: 1800-649-9125 http://www.legal-aid.org/en/las/findus/hotlines.aspx Now they help on Tuesdays from 10 to 2 Eastern Standard Times. Unless it is an emergency. They take emergencies all other times. They may be able to refer you to legal aid in your area.
tinke Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Awww G.C., sorry things didn't work out for you. At least you can feel that you did give it a try instead of just wondering! bunnies to you!
Author Zapbasket Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Thanks guys. SB129, Tinke, Trialbyfire, you know I had reservations about this person from the get-go. I'm glad I took the risk, but of course I'm very sad that after all this he's unwilling to enter counseling with me to look at some of the dynamics that tripped us up. We had many good times this year...though according to him he was "miserable 85% of the time." I'm sure I wasn't perfect and contributed my own things to the demise, but I'm equally sure that this is all really some issue that lies within HIM and has nothing to do with me. That hunch doesn't make me feel better though--that such an intelligent, gifted, sweet-if-selfish-natured man could still be so unable to stick out a relationship with someone. I'm also sad because he has such incredibly lovely friends, and while I will remain in touch with some of them, I fear that many of them won't survive the transition to just having a separate friendship with me. I thought I was building a true community out here, first with his friends, then my own...and now once again it seems I have to pretty much start from scratch :-( It turns out I may be able to get out of his house by the end of next week, after all. If however things fall through then it sounds like he can't just insist I leave if I have nowhere to go. (I'm in Colorado, by the way.) Such a disappointment :-( SB129, how did you handle things when you were in this position? How did the ex-partner treat you, and you him, while you underwent the transition from living together to living separately. I'll say this: while I don't regret my moving out here, I do feel it's always best for a relationship for two people to live separately until the discussion of moving in together is mingled with a serious discussion about marrying one another...with dates being thrown around, also. It's just too hard on a relationship to move in together too soon. Though I do think that with the "right" person, it can still work. The irony is that until recent months I thought we were doing pretty darned well considering. But he all throughout felt things were always "rocky." I just thought we'd have a lot of things to sort out in our first year together; I anticipated it. I hope that someday I will find someone who wants to WORK on the relationship with me rather than just walk :-( Tinke, TBF, SB129, how are you guys all doing? When's the wedding? How's the pregnancy coming? How is life going?
sb129 Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Well it was a little easier because my ex moved out- he went to live with his mum the day after we broke up, and then found a place on his own. I was pretty p*ssed off at the time though. And it was a small town, so we kept bumping into eachother- we get on OK now, although I don't live there anymore. Pregnancy all good, thank you. look after yourself GC am really sorry things didn't work out I know how much you agonised over this last year.
Trialbyfire Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 It's sad that a 50 year old man hasn't learned to emotionally communicate his needs but there's nothing you can personally do to affect change within him, if he doesn't want to change. GC, you went into this with your eyes wide-open. No regrets, in that you tried it, it didn't work, so you can chock it up to experience earned. You'll be fine! The wedding is next summer, GC.
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