Author pandagirl Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Oh yes, you are definitely doing the right thing. What bugs me about him most is that he is having sex with the other woman, but is lying to her by omission by not telling her that he is also messing around and dating you. And the only way you found out is because you told him the score about exclusivity. This is why women have to ask these things before they have sex with a man. If you hadn't brought it up, I can bet he never would have either, he would have continued seeing you and perhaps moving on to sleeping with you, and sleeping with the other woman as well. Now, I don't want to bring this up to make you feel bad, cos you shouldn't, but, what if he gave something to her because of sexual activity with you? This would NOT be your fault, at all, but would be his, 100%. IMO, he IS NOT a good guy, he just wanted his cake, your cake and the other chick's cake and not have to tell the cakes he what he was doing. Personally, I would be skeeved out if I was dating a guy, and messing around with him, and he's having sex with another woman as well. Gross. You deserve and will get a great guy who won't want to see anyone else but you. Hold out for that. And congrats on keeping your boundaries in place, the other chick probably thinks he's her boyfriend, cos she didn't talk about it. She is in for quite a rude awakening. And again, he is LYING. Not telling someone you are sleeping with someone else while attempting to get in someone else's is shady shady behavior. I know. I think the whole sex thing really throws a wrench in the whole thing. Also, it's not like he is casually dating other people, he is just dating me and this other girl for the last two months. How long was he going to keep this up? Dude. If I was dating a guy for two months and sleeping with him for most of that time, I would think he was really into me and on my way to being my boyfriend. Sure, he's not technically LYING, but he is walking the line. Is this a common situation men/women find themselves in?
AlektraClementine Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 My question is: Why are you going to see him again to "talk". This leads me to believe that you aren't entirely sure about dumping him. If that's the case, that's a shame. And before you say it, you don't owe him anything.
Author pandagirl Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 My question is: Why are you going to see him again to "talk". This leads me to believe that you aren't entirely sure about dumping him. If that's the case, that's a shame. And before you say it, you don't owe him anything. Basically, because he asked me to see him. It was left open-ended last night, so I guess this is the "closure" talk. Even though I don't know why we're having it, since we were never in a relationship in the first place.
Isolde Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Just go talk to him. Closure is good in my eyes. ((pandagirl))
WineCountry Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 My question is: Why are you going to see him again to "talk". This leads me to believe that you aren't entirely sure about dumping him. If that's the case, that's a shame. And before you say it, you don't owe him anything. Thanks for saying that. I was wondering why she was even bothering also. He's not going to tell her anything different.
Author pandagirl Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Just go talk to him. Closure is good in my eyes. ((pandagirl)) Aw, thanks, Isolde! I have grown a LOT in this past year. I don't know if I would have had the same reaction to this kind of news back then. For once, I feel strong and confident, and feel the self-worth I knew I always had in me.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 The final talk is a good opportunity to state your boundaries loud and clear, and be done with him. He sounds slimy.
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