redy2 Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 well after being on again and off again this being the third time her being back in my house.. i got the following texts this morning. now keep in mind i havent heard from her for 2 days and havent seen her in a week and when we last spoke she was telling me how i didnt really care for her. mainly because i had issues with the fact that she wanted to come and go as she pleases, with me paying all the bills and her childs daycare. not doing anything around the house even washing her own clothes. and i shouldnt have an issue with her coming in at midnight or sometimes not at all while she left her kid at home with me. anyways. i get one this mornig hey you working today. im like yea why what are you up to. her: im working today. what time you get off. me: im thinking of leaving at lunch her: im coming by later me: what time you get off ? her: 2 me : im getting off at 12 i have some errands to do her: ok an hour later i get her: i got my things from the house and left you what you gave me. dont ever try to contact me again. bye so i replied: ok that was abrupt but ok. sorry you feel like that best of luck. ugh when will i ever learn not to take her back.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Man, we all managed to bag ourselves some psycho's, didn't we? Does anyone on here have a SANE ex that I can't immediately diagnose with a disorder within a 90% accuracy? LOL!! Ahem, what I meant to say is... this reckless, selfish, delusional behavior of hers is many different disorders, but it's easier and less condescending for me to tell you that it is HER loss, NOT yours. And I DON'T say that to many people.
Author redy2 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 thanks for the support thomas. notice how she did it on a friday as to try and ruin my weekend. she had all this week to get her stuff cause she was off 3 days this week. id bet anything she has border line personality disorder. i was reading up on it and it was liek a blueprint of her behavoir. right down to the part of her being pregnant.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 BPD? That's very serious... Cluster B Disorders are incurable in my opinion. Can you give some examples of her behavior?
moo Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I dont' believe that most mental disorders are totally curable. However, with the proper therapy and sometimes medication, disorders can lessen a great deal. Cluster B disorders....extremely hard to treat, but there are ways to lessen the disorders a great deal for Cluster B. It takes a VERY dedicated therapist and strict treatments. BPD is treatable...I would not say it's curable, but you can get the person to lessen their behavior. Many times people with Cluster B Disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Antisocial Personality Disorder) can be lessen if you frame it in the way that make people want to get better. Many of these people end up in jail. All of these people are very selfish, so you tell them you want to treat them so they can stay out of jail and out of trouble. If you tell them they need treatment because they ruin lives, they won't care. If you tell them they need treatment so they can stay out of jail or that will prevent them from getting fired, then they may want to do the work.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Yes, moo, I'd agree. You forgot Histrionic Personality Disorder, though:p You are right. At least about narcissists and people with ASPD. You have to tell them it's all about them, and that's why they should want to work towards fixing themselves. People with ASPD will be suspicious and sly, however, and probably just consider how "changing" (or pretending to) will allow them to better manipulate others. BPD victims are terrified of change, and the best mode of action (in my opinion) would probably be to tell them that if they like the way their life is, they should seek help to keep it that way. Or else their behavior will be detrimental to everything they love and work for. But as for Histrionics, I just have no idea. It is one of the only disorders I truly have no grasp on how to help.
moo Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 yes, histrionic came to mind, but I couldn't remember it if was cluster B or not. I thought it was, but was not sure. Alot of the conditions in Cluster B overlap so the treatment aspects may overlap as well. People with Histrionic PD are overly, overly emotional. Their behaviors are exaggerated in such a way it is as if they are on stage for the world to see. This kind of behavior gets them in trouble with their boss, friends and other relationships. And like the other Cluster B ones, extreme self-centerness, wrapped up within themselves. I don't think I ever dated anyone with a personality disorder, but I have dated men with several very strong traits of personality disorders...the one trait that overlapped in all of them was extreme selfishness. As human beings we all have maladaptive traits in our personality. I guess it is a manner of what you can and are willing to put up with in your partner, if you partner has good insight into his or her behavior, and if your partner is willing to improve himself or herself for their own good and for the good of the relationship.
Author redy2 Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 ok some examples of stuff she has done. tuesday other week came in. i asked was she going back to her moms after she got her kid from daycare. her mom lives hr away. no she was staying up there. asked her couple different ways over the hal hr we talked. she asked what was for dinner. i told her was grilling chicken she said ok how about going to get a salad at store. i did. when i got back she had split. called she was like yea her 2 yr old said he wanted to see his dad. some bs. didnt come back home that night. boought over the month 200 bucks worth of groceries. ate 4 meal at my house in a month the rest of teh stuff went out of date and spoiled. what wasnt canned. went to the beach for a few days. hotel room wasnt good enough. only had a microwave and a fridge. complained about it the wholde time. well when she was talking to me. which one whole day she didnt. hoped in and showered with me one night. telling me she loved me. 2 days later put her profile on a dating site. and told me it was none of my business what she does. keep in mind she is 3 months pregnant. dropped out of the college she was going to a night saying she couldnt keep up. and blamed me for it keep in mind i was watching her kid the nights she was supposedly in school. i dont think she went after the first week. if my phone rang she want to know who it was or if we were talking about her then say i was lying. her phone ring shed go outside. she get mad at me for no reason to stage a disagreement so she wouldnt come back for a few days. then few days later be all nice and twist it around like she wasnt mad. get mad if my mom called me. thats just a few highlights. basically nothing i did was good enough. if i did it just as she wanted shed raise the bar. or switch to complaining about something different. the last couple weeks just have been a nightmare with her. she apologized once a few weeks back saying she shouldnt be so mean to me i didnt deserve it i was nice to her. but thats about it.
SRTtoZ Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Psycchooooooooooo! stay away. Far away. She did the best thing for YOU.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 moo you're very intelligent... did you major in psychology? As for you, OP, my God. She really did do you a favor, this girl is nutty.
moo Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Thanks a bunch for your compliment. I have read a lot. But I hope that people don't take my advice as gospel. Just trying to help as a friend.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 If you know enough about psychology, moo, then your advice IS to be looked up to. Everything we are, everything we see, everything we dream, everything we will ever understand, all begins through the reigns of psychology. In my opinion, there are only three super powers in the world. A). Scientists. B). Doctors. C). Psychologists. Of course I don't mean to belittle all the necessary other jobs, such as engineers, electricians... people who make the world go around. They're extremely powerful too in their own way. I just list A B and C because they're the ones who can save the world. When I was a child, I chose to take the path of C, because it's in my opinion, more important to save people on a daily basis.
moo Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 I understand what you are saying, but still I would like people to take my words at friendly, nothing else; let me explain why I feel this way. I'm sure you know all of what I'm going to say anyway. -People react differently to different things. What works for one person can cause psychological upheaval in another. -The people on here share some of their history, but no one on here really knows them very, very well. To advice someone properly, you have to know their personality, their psychological history, their family history, and be able to have an educated guess in how they will react to your advice. All that, plus psychological testing goes into diagnosis and treatment. That's why I'm just giving friendly advice like others on here and what I say shouldn't be taken as gospel. Thanks.
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