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Broke up with me last month and now she wants me back BAD! Should I?

takemeaway

By takemeaway
in Second Chances

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takemeaway Member

takemeaway

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Hi everybody! About a month ago I wrote about how my gf broke up with me, and how I wanted to try and get her back. You all suggested I stop contact with her for a while, which I did (it wasn't difficult since I was in Spain and couldn't contact her lol)...so now low and behold, she wants me back, BADLYYYY. She said she'll do anything, shes texting me nonstop, she says she doesn't care what we talk about as long as she gets to hear my voice, she writes me emails about all the things she likes about me, she begs me to just let her take me on a date, she comments on how pretty I look in my pictures, etc etc. Shes even posting those "I can't beleive I let you go, come back to me" song lyrics all over her myspace.

 

I know that even if I DO decide to take her back...its definitely not happening anytime soon. She has a LOT of begging to do. She insists that she can now offer me everything I deserve and just wants to prove to me how good she can be to me blah blah blah. I'm scared frankly that if I give ANY indication that I would EVER take her back, she'll feel in control again and just stop trying to win me back...but I kinda want to see her try, so when she asked if there would ever be another chance for us I didn't answer her directly.

 

I really deserve to have her prove that she means what she says. So...how do I navigate the next few months? I told her I think we should be "stable aquaintances" for a while. I text her back sporadically, I don't answer her calls, I don't vent to her about my life when she says she'd love to talk to me about my day... I basically am just keeping her at bay...but I'm friendly when we talk like I'm completely oblivious to the fact that shes doing all those things (emailing, calling, texting, commenting, blogging etc)...is there anything else I need to do? How do you keep that space where your friendly without going into "friends zone"? Has anybody been down this road and been successful in that person actually turning around and being a better gf/bf? How long did you make them wait? How do you know if they genuinely feel they made a mistake and care about you...or they just want what they can't have?

smookie

smookie

Posted
Posted

Bottem line, do not play games if you want to try let her know that it is going to take time for you to trust her. Communication is everything in a relationship

If you know that right now you are not looking at that as a option then tell her I am very sorry but I can not right now maybe down the road but not right now.

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takemeaway Member

takemeaway

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I definitely told her it will not be happening in the near future...but I don't kNOW whether it will ever happen, so I can't give her much help in that department :-(

samspade Established Member

samspade

Posted
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Hi everybody! About a month ago I wrote about how my gf broke up with me, and how I wanted to try and get her back. You all suggested I stop contact with her for a while, which I did (it wasn't difficult since I was in Spain and couldn't contact her lol)...so now low and behold, she wants me back, BADLYYYY. She said she'll do anything, shes texting me nonstop, she says she doesn't care what we talk about as long as she gets to hear my voice, she writes me emails about all the things she likes about me, she begs me to just let her take me on a date, she comments on how pretty I look in my pictures, etc etc. Shes even posting those "I can't beleive I let you go, come back to me" song lyrics all over her myspace.

 

I know that even if I DO decide to take her back...its definitely not happening anytime soon. She has a LOT of begging to do. She insists that she can now offer me everything I deserve and just wants to prove to me how good she can be to me blah blah blah. I'm scared frankly that if I give ANY indication that I would EVER take her back, she'll feel in control again and just stop trying to win me back...but I kinda want to see her try, so when she asked if there would ever be another chance for us I didn't answer her directly.

 

I really deserve to have her prove that she means what she says. So...how do I navigate the next few months? I told her I think we should be "stable aquaintances" for a while. I text her back sporadically, I don't answer her calls, I don't vent to her about my life when she says she'd love to talk to me about my day... I basically am just keeping her at bay...but I'm friendly when we talk like I'm completely oblivious to the fact that shes doing all those things (emailing, calling, texting, commenting, blogging etc)...is there anything else I need to do? How do you keep that space where your friendly without going into "friends zone"? Has anybody been down this road and been successful in that person actually turning around and being a better gf/bf? How long did you make them wait? How do you know if they genuinely feel they made a mistake and care about you...or they just want what they can't have?

 

Put her in your harem as a ***k buddy. No need to go exclusive again. Whatever you do, don't give in to any requests for "emotional support." She could turn the tables on you. I say, have sex with her if you can but find some other women to distract you.

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
Posted

The problem is the distance. You can only hold at bay for so long before she gives up because she cant see you in person. But def tell her that it will take time for you to trust her.

Peanut9330 Established Member

Peanut9330

Posted
Posted

You know playing games is never a good thing she broke up with you and now she realized she made a mistake so she's trying to get you back if you want her back just take her back if you dont then tell her kindly that you just cant do this again, no point in making her beg and work for it cuz if u keep that up she's just gonna resent you in the long run for it, cuz trust me it will come back to her at some point and then your gonna regret it. Bottom line if u want her take her if you dont then walk away.

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
Posted
You know playing games is never a good thing she broke up with you and now she realized she made a mistake so she's trying to get you back if you want her back just take her back if you dont then tell her kindly that you just cant do this again, no point in making her beg and work for it cuz if u keep that up she's just gonna resent you in the long run for it, cuz trust me it will come back to her at some point and then your gonna regret it. Bottom line if u want her take her if you dont then walk away.

 

The problem with just taking her back too easy is that some women get turned off if there is no challenge. He might not even know he might have given too much to her which might have been why she broke it off in the first place. So he has to make her work for it so that when she sees he goes back in, she wont dump him for it.

Peanut9330 Established Member

Peanut9330

Posted
Posted
The problem with just taking her back too easy is that some women get turned off if there is no challenge. He might not even know he might have given too much to her which might have been why she broke it off in the first place. So he has to make her work for it so that when she sees he goes back in, she wont dump him for it.

 

 

 

True I agree with you on that but what I was saying is that he sholnd't get cocky about it and keep pushing her cuz then she's goona end up resenting him for that too. Yea he should show her that its not ok to do what she did but dont push it.

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takemeaway Member

takemeaway

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The problem with just taking her back too easy is that some women get turned off if there is no challenge. He might not even know he might have given too much to her which might have been why she broke it off in the first place. So he has to make her work for it so that when she sees he goes back in, she wont dump him for it.

 

LOL I'm a girl, but yes, I have to make her work for it, because she is the type to get waht she wants and then get over it really fast. Hell if I will take her back just to be dumped :(

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takemeaway Member

takemeaway

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The problem with just taking her back too easy is that some women get turned off if there is no challenge. He might not even know he might have given too much to her which might have been why she broke it off in the first place. So he has to make her work for it so that when she sees he goes back in, she wont dump him for it.

 

LOL I'm a girl, but yes, I have to make her work for it, because she is the type to get waht she wants and then get over it really fast. Hell if I will take her back just to be dumped :(

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
Posted
LOL I'm a girl, but yes, I have to make her work for it, because she is the type to get waht she wants and then get over it really fast. Hell if I will take her back just to be dumped :(

 

Oh, well, at least you already know then! I should have known that your post sounded like you were already in a girls head...:D

 

You need to use your post as advise when people have ex's that want to get back with them, or when dumpers keep contacting dumpees...

Peanut9330 Established Member

Peanut9330

Posted
Posted
LOL I'm a girl, but yes, I have to make her work for it, because she is the type to get waht she wants and then get over it really fast. Hell if I will take her back just to be dumped :(

 

 

Lol sorry for saying him :laugh:

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