Suicidal

[Road To Joy]

I feel really suicidal. It feels as if it's for so many reasons, too. Everything I see makes me want to kill myself. My brother doing yoga, pictures of actually beautiful landscapes, music, picturing myself 5 months from now, everything! Things that once made me happy, things that usually make me happy. They seem so ridiculous and it seems dumb to me how they once made me happy. They seem pointless. It feels to me as if everybody that's happy is just kidding themselves.

 

I'm scared this breakup is going to bother me forever. I want to get psychiatric help 'cause I feel I have internal problems I have to deal with. Yes, a lot of them have to do with her. She basically raped my confidence, to say the least. And did a lot more than that. But I do believe some of my problems such as my hypersensitivity is somehow linked to my childhood. But I really can't waste money. Venting helps, but I wish I had someone to talk to who can help me dig deeper.

 

All I see for the future is pain and sorrow, and I honestly don't want to deal with that. I don't want to live my whole life suffering. I just want this to end. I feel so weak and I'm so sorry if I sound whiny. I never talk to people about how I feel 'cause I don't want to bother them with my problems or seem pathetic. I've always been like this, I keep everything in. Honestly, what I post on this site is the most I've ever let out. So, in a way, people here know me better than those physically around me. Which is sad.

[bluewolf17]

2 months isn't that long. Give it time. It's very normal to not be able to picture yoursel happy down the road. It's been 6.5 months for me. The first three were a mess. I thought just like you, nothing brought me happieness, everything was superficial. IT WILL PASS! IF YOU BELEIVE ANYTHING, BELEIVE THAT. You won't feel this way forever. I just recently started to see my life, a year, two years down the road. And it doesn't include the ex, and that is just fine. You will lear that your life is so much more that one relationship.

 

If you can't afford professional help, try just going to the library or bookstore and getting books on depression and moving on. Trust me, there are a lot. If your not near a library/bookstore, get on Amazon.com and buy one for cheap.

 

Don't be afraid to talk to friends/family/coworkers for help. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It's a sign of maturity in asking for help when you need it.

 

And continue to post here.

[headlesschicken]

hey rtj

 

sorry you're hurting. i think you're in a downswing in your recovery. i think if you wait it out without doing anything self-destructive you'll see yourself through it. it's natural to be down and confused, and question the meaning of your life after it's all been turned upside down through the actions of yoruself and another person.

 

the good part is--if you don't let this depression pull you under, you can use that dissatisfaction to motivate yourself to make changes, and get to a place in which you don't feel so lost.

 

therapy, sure. talk to someone if you feel it's necessary. also, we are here. three months out from a three year relationship isn't too terribly long....remember you are still recovering and it has its ups and downs.

[lizzylizliz]

Hey, cheer up it's not as bad as you think. I've been there...even today, sometimes you just think how easy ti would be to just give up, and not have to feel this way anymore. Just remember that, just one time in the past few months, you MUST have felt joy, even just the one time. If you can feel it just once, you'll feel it again...and that's worth all of this. That's what I stick to....in the future, you'll feel joy again...you know how it feels, and you know you're capable of it. This is going to hurt hellava lot...but you're going to be so strong by the end of it....you'll be bigger, bolder, and brighter, than you've ever been before. I don't need to tell you it's an experience, because all of us on here know it, and hate the way it feels. The only thing permanent in life is change itself. Come on, you. You're stronger than this! You're better than having someone make you want to end your own lif.e And one day, someone will come along that makes it worthwhile, and you'll know EXACTLY why you're still here. Ending it all will deprive someone out there of being your partner in the future

[Nedved]

All the posts are great and read them rtj. Your gonna be fine and as lizzylizliz said you'l only deprive a really nice person of a good partner. She's out there waiting for you somewhere. You'l find her and she'l appreciate you more than your ex ever did. You'l be so happy you met her and got through this pain your in.

 

hang in there my friend. Your just having a bad day. We're all in the same boat. your among friends here and we'le all get through this together cheer up

[Road To Joy]

I love you people.

 

I think a huge part of the reason I feel this way is because I broke NC and I am still in contact with her (I THINK). I know I have to go back to NC soon and I'm dreading it but at the same time I know being in contact with her is going to be miserable. It's like there's no way out. I'm going to be upset either way and the only difference is with NC, I'm going to suffer without her. I know what I have to do. But I know when I tell her we can't do this again and I need to stop talking to her for good, everything's going to start crashing down and I've been in worst suicidal positions than this and I'm so scared of falling back into that. On the other hand, I'm scared when we talk again, she'll drag me back in and I won't be able to do it.

 

This was always the hardest part for me about the breakup, initiating NC. It takes me forever and a lot of suffering to finally gather the strength to do it. I'm always scared I'll feel later on I have something to say, or something along those lines and it'll just nag me.

 

And Lizzy, when I'm this low I honestly forget what it feels like to be happy, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. It feels as if happiness is just being numb. And it seems pointless. I know it's not permanent, though. I've been through this before and it's not until everything goes away for a few seconds and I feel truly happy that I realize it's not all worthless. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

 

Oh and bluewolf17, I just thought I should let you know you were my LS crush for a while I think it's 'cause you were one of the first people who's posts I saw. But anyways, just putting that out there.

 

Ugh. My heart stings.

[bluewolf17]

Road to Joy:

 

Look at you..so down and yet making girls blush!

 

I think you will be just fine.

[burning 4 revenge]

suicide is the road to joy

[Road To Joy]

Thank you, Ned! Is it okay if I call you Ned?

 

I'm sorry I didn't see your post until after I posted this past one. LS does make me feel less alone. And the thought that there's somebody out there waiting for me makes me feel good. I used to think about that all the time. Sort of like, "Hey there. I don't know your name, what you look like, where you live, or anything else about you. I can't wait to meet you, though. I've been waiting for you for quite sometime now. I know you're the only person I can trust with anything and you won't abandon me. I love you. I think about you everyday and how wonderful it will be when I finally get to be with you. I know you're thinking about me, too. See you soon."

 

And I would hope where ever she was in the world she would somehow get the vibe.

[Road To Joy]

suicide is the road to joy

 

I told myself a few months ago that if I don't feel better in 5 years, I was going to kill myself.

 

You can join me.

[bluewolf17]

I told myself a few months ago that if I don't feel better in 5 years, I was going to kill myself.

 

You can join me.

 

 

Priceless!

[Road To Joy]

Priceless!

 

It's true, too! Haha.

 

Road to Joy:

 

Look at you..so down and yet making girls blush!

 

I think you will be just fine.

 

Thank you.

[lizzylizliz]

On the night my ex told me he never wanted me back (and subsequently blamed me for absolutely everything going wrong!), I ran away and was going to jump off a cliff, cos I was completely distraught. I only didn't because he rang me and took me home. He doesn't know, and hopefully never will...I'd rather eat my own lungs than admit to him that he hurt me that much.

 

I know how it feels. You're down, and you just CAN'T pull yourself out of it. Because I have mood swings with my Borderline personality, I can't rationalise a lot of the time and I literally have to wait until my brain thinks of something different. It's hell. One thing that REALLY cheered me up was a little song by Spitting Image called 'The Chicken Song'. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, but it puts a smile on your face!

 

Live a little. I've done some of the most outrageous things in the past month that myself and the ex have been apart. I've had horrible nights of crying and wondering how I'm ever going to carry on. I've also partied hard, and spent time with mates, and recently, another guy who is treating me with more respect than I ever imagined I deserved. Have a laugh a little at life and its coincidences. Look at The Chicken Song on youtube, and play a bit of Weird Al. Look up lolcats. Do silly, crazy things just for the hell of it...I walked to the shop during a thunderstorm this afternoon...it made me feel oddly alive. And make a list of all the great things about yourself! You are the only YOU that there is...take care of yourself because life is a gift...one far too precious to waste on a scummer like an ex!!!

[Road To Joy]

On the night my ex told me he never wanted me back (and subsequently blamed me for absolutely everything going wrong!), I ran away and was going to jump off a cliff, cos I was completely distraught. I only didn't because he rang me and took me home. He doesn't know, and hopefully never will...I'd rather eat my own lungs than admit to him that he hurt me that much.

 

I know how it feels. You're down, and you just CAN'T pull yourself out of it. Because I have mood swings with my Borderline personality, I can't rationalise a lot of the time and I literally have to wait until my brain thinks of something different. It's hell. One thing that REALLY cheered me up was a little song by Spitting Image called 'The Chicken Song'. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, but it puts a smile on your face!

 

Live a little. I've done some of the most outrageous things in the past month that myself and the ex have been apart. I've had horrible nights of crying and wondering how I'm ever going to carry on. I've also partied hard, and spent time with mates, and recently, another guy who is treating me with more respect than I ever imagined I deserved. Have a laugh a little at life and its coincidences. Look at The Chicken Song on youtube, and play a bit of Weird Al. Look up lolcats. Do silly, crazy things just for the hell of it...I walked to the shop during a thunderstorm this afternoon...it made me feel oddly alive. And make a list of all the great things about yourself! You are the only YOU that there is...take care of yourself because life is a gift...one far too precious to waste on a scummer like an ex!!!

 

Hold a chicken in the air

 

I will do everything you recommended! Thank you so much for the positive support, Lizzy. Your words are really encouraging. This next month is going to be hard but hopefully I'll be better by the time school starts officially. I can't wait till I'm no longer in her grip. And even when I'm happy or feel a bit better I still feel the vulnerability. Like if she calls, I know it'll all come crashing down. This is normal, though... right?

 

I question things far too much.

[Nedved]

Thank you, Ned! Is it okay if I call you Ned?

 

I'm sorry I didn't see your post until after I posted this past one. LS does make me feel less alone. And the thought that there's somebody out there waiting for me makes me feel good. I used to think about that all the time. Sort of like, "Hey there. I don't know your name, what you look like, where you live, or anything else about you. I can't wait to meet you, though. I've been waiting for you for quite sometime now. I know you're the only person I can trust with anything and you won't abandon me. I love you. I think about you everyday and how wonderful it will be when I finally get to be with you. I know you're thinking about me, too. See you soon."

 

And I would hope where ever she was in the world she would somehow get the vibe.

 

call me whatever you want man. But Ned is good But there is somebody out there for you rtj. I used to do exactly what you just said there and i met a girl eventually and had 4 good years with her. Its a great way of keeping positive and believe me she's out there wishing u were with her to. You summed it up perfect in your post. say goodnight to her everynight. its comforting but don't feel rushed to meet her.

 

She could even be on LS? you'd never know but she's out there somewhere and thats whats so great about life. she'l appear when you least expect it and you'l start all over again.

 

but hang in there rtj.

[lizzylizliz]

Told you so. The Chicken Song is classic. And they do another one called Essex Is Crap...you'll only get it if you like in the UK...but it's awesome

 

Walking in the pouring rain is amazing. A gang of boys gave me the weirdest looks...I was was soaking wet with no coat on just smiling away to myself, listening to 'I Don't Care' by Fall Out Boy. I looked like a raving loon...and it was fine!

 

The weekend before last, I made a dress out of carrier bags from a local supermarket and went to a nightclub in it. It was my best friends birthday and she wanted to do something crazy...she had a ballgown made out of binliners, it looked excellent. I had cellotaped 5 Netto bags to various parts of myself. It was hilarious...and I met the guy I'm currently seeing Just try something random, every once in a while. It reminds you how good it feels to be alive

 

Hoooooolllllld a....chicken in the airrrr....sitck a deckchair up your nose.....buy a jumob jet...and buuurrrryyyy all ya clothes....!

[Road To Joy]

call me whatever you want man. But Ned is good But there is somebody out there for you rtj. I used to do exactly what you just said there and i met a girl eventually and had 4 good years with her. Its a great way of keeping positive and believe me she's out there wishing u were with her to. You summed it up perfect in your post. say goodnight to her everynight. its comforting but don't feel rushed to meet her.

 

She could even be on LS? you'd never know but she's out there somewhere and thats whats so great about life. she'l appear when you least expect it and you'l start all over again.

 

but hang in there rtj.

 

Thinking about her being on LS makes me nervous I'm hoping I don't rush trying to meet her, actually. The thought makes me kind of desperate. And knowing I have to wait even during such a difficult time hurts a little. I'm suffering, she should be here for me, lol. But hell, maybe when I meet her I'll tell her about this moment and she'll tell me she was thinking about me the whole time. This whole thing is exciting but scary.

 

I just need to be patient. And I'll hang in there, no worries. I gave myself a 5 year deadline

[Road To Joy]

Told you so. The Chicken Song is classic. And they do another one called Essex Is Crap...you'll only get it if you like in the UK...but it's awesome

 

Walking in the pouring rain is amazing. A gang of boys gave me the weirdest looks...I was was soaking wet with no coat on just smiling away to myself, listening to 'I Don't Care' by Fall Out Boy. I looked like a raving loon...and it was fine!

 

The weekend before last, I made a dress out of carrier bags from a local supermarket and went to a nightclub in it. It was my best friends birthday and she wanted to do something crazy...she had a ballgown made out of binliners, it looked excellent. I had cellotaped 5 Netto bags to various parts of myself. It was hilarious...and I met the guy I'm currently seeing Just try something random, every once in a while. It reminds you how good it feels to be alive

 

Hoooooolllllld a....chicken in the airrrr....sitck a deckchair up your nose.....buy a jumob jet...and buuurrrryyyy all ya clothes....!

 

You're silly.

 

Well, I don't live in the UK, so I wouldn't get it. But I get the message you're trying to get across. I'll take it easy until things get lighter. And I can't wait till that day comes. And I can't wait until I start feeling comfortable with my surroundings again. This is such an uncomfortable feeling. And it truly is a rollercoaster.

 

I want to be happy again.

[gd26]

During some of my feelings of sadness and disappointment, one of the things that helped me was digging through old threads on this forums. At that time, my intention was that of hoping to get him back. So I would read all kinds of second chance threads on 'how to get your ex back' etc. I read stories of people who's exes treated them really poorly, and many of whom were struggling to maintain NC.

 

One of the interesting things about reading old posts back from 2002-2005 etc, is looking though their histories to see how the people are doing today. Some of the posts were really inspiring, such as those people who believed enough in themselves and in what they had to offer as people. Even though they may have been heartbroken and feeling lost back in 2004 (for example), it was great to see them posting in 2007 and hearing of their engagements to someone new who treated them a million times better than the ex who broke their hearts.

 

On the other hand, there were people who flat out refused NC as they didn't see the point in it etc. I found posts from them 2-3 years later where they had gone back and forth in a destructive relationship with the same person... until they finally saw the point of NC and FINALLY stopped contact with their ex. Unfortunately they put themselves into a few extra years of pain because they didn't know how to make a clean break from their exes while they healed.

 

Most of us who have been on this forum an extended period of time have our own stories of hurt and betrayal. I am very glad to have been here, because as a woman, I used to think that men were much worse than women at breaking hearts (just because I used to see female friends crying over boyfriends who hurt them, not the reverse). However, LS opened my eyes and showed me how much the hurt goes both ways... and a person's gender has nothing to do with the kind of hurt and betrayal one experiences.

 

If you read backposts of most people here, many of us go through the same cycles after heartbreak. Initially we are counting the days of NC, and wondering what to say when our ex's contact us, then afterwards we get angry, and then we start doing better and advising other people here on how to maintain NC as we start getting more confident and happy, and then within a few weeks we ourselves crash into a depressed state where we realize the other person isn't coming back and we feel like the pain will never end. I know those feelings full well. But the painful feelings WILL clear. I assure you. If you stick to the positive behaviors you are doing, you will come out the other side. Staying in contact with someone who isn't valuing you as a partner will only make you feel icky and patronized and disrespected. It might take you a few months of NC to get to the point where you are no longer counting days (and instead are counting months). It takes awhile, but you'll get to the point where the compulsion to contact goes away. You might still miss your ex and wish you both were together, but you know that you deserve to be treated with a lot of love - and if she isn't willing to give that to you, you won't settle.

 

I still think of the guys from my past, and still miss the last guy. But after nearly 1 year NC, I know that I will be fine either way. I would LOVE to have him a part of my life (if he was completely determined to make things right with me and be the person I initially developed feelings for), but if he doesn't care enough to have a relationship with me - that's fine too. I still care about him, but I no longer have him on a pedestal. I realize that he didn't treat me the way he should have. And I'll never settle for poor treatment. If he doesn't want to be the one for me, then I'll soon meet a guy who does want to give me everything. I hope I will be one of the posters here in the next few years who reports back to tell everyone that I found the love of my life, and that we should never settle for lousy treatment - and I hope you have such a story on here to tell as well. As far as suicide goes, don't ever consider that an option. Don't ever give so much importance to the external events in your life for you to ever consider giving up on yourself.

[Meaplus3]

Road to joy, I'm so sorry to hear your hurting. But really the pain your feeling right now will in time go away. Your best bet is to stick with No contact. It may hurt like heck to begin with but, as the days pass you will see how much stronger you will become. Now, first order is to keep yourself busy. Surround yourself with family and friends if you can. Excercise, read, play a sport or whatever it is that you like to do that can help to keep your mind off her. Please believe me that you will feel better. I've been where you are and I came through it just fine with a little time. Best wishes. Stay strong.

 

Mea:)

[Ariadne]

All I see for the future is pain and sorrow, and I honestly don't want to deal with that. I don't want to live my whole life suffering.

 

It takes way too much energy to be sad like that, and the body is not going to put up with it for that long. The normal state is of content.

 

You can only be that sad for a while and then things will turn around.

 

So you just have to deal with it while it lasts. It will only make you stronger if you can do that.

[Road To Joy]

During some of my feelings of sadness and disappointment, one of the things that helped me was digging through old threads on this forums. At that time, my intention was that of hoping to get him back. So I would read all kinds of second chance threads on 'how to get your ex back' etc. I read stories of people who's exes treated them really poorly, and many of whom were struggling to maintain NC.

 

One of the interesting things about reading old posts back from 2002-2005 etc, is looking though their histories to see how the people are doing today. Some of the posts were really inspiring, such as those people who believed enough in themselves and in what they had to offer as people. Even though they may have been heartbroken and feeling lost back in 2004 (for example), it was great to see them posting in 2007 and hearing of their engagements to someone new who treated them a million times better than the ex who broke their hearts.

 

On the other hand, there were people who flat out refused NC as they didn't see the point in it etc. I found posts from them 2-3 years later where they had gone back and forth in a destructive relationship with the same person... until they finally saw the point of NC and FINALLY stopped contact with their ex. Unfortunately they put themselves into a few extra years of pain because they didn't know how to make a clean break from their exes while they healed.

 

Most of us who have been on this forum an extended period of time have our own stories of hurt and betrayal. I am very glad to have been here, because as a woman, I used to think that men were much worse than women at breaking hearts (just because I used to see female friends crying over boyfriends who hurt them, not the reverse). However, LS opened my eyes and showed me how much the hurt goes both ways... and a person's gender has nothing to do with the kind of hurt and betrayal one experiences.

 

If you read backposts of most people here, many of us go through the same cycles after heartbreak. Initially we are counting the days of NC, and wondering what to say when our ex's contact us, then afterwards we get angry, and then we start doing better and advising other people here on how to maintain NC as we start getting more confident and happy, and then within a few weeks we ourselves crash into a depressed state where we realize the other person isn't coming back and we feel like the pain will never end. I know those feelings full well. But the painful feelings WILL clear. I assure you. If you stick to the positive behaviors you are doing, you will come out the other side. Staying in contact with someone who isn't valuing you as a partner will only make you feel icky and patronized and disrespected. It might take you a few months of NC to get to the point where you are no longer counting days (and instead are counting months). It takes awhile, but you'll get to the point where the compulsion to contact goes away. You might still miss your ex and wish you both were together, but you know that you deserve to be treated with a lot of love - and if she isn't willing to give that to you, you won't settle.

 

I still think of the guys from my past, and still miss the last guy. But after nearly 1 year NC, I know that I will be fine either way. I would LOVE to have him a part of my life (if he was completely determined to make things right with me and be the person I initially developed feelings for), but if he doesn't care enough to have a relationship with me - that's fine too. I still care about him, but I no longer have him on a pedestal. I realize that he didn't treat me the way he should have. And I'll never settle for poor treatment. If he doesn't want to be the one for me, then I'll soon meet a guy who does want to give me everything. I hope I will be one of the posters here in the next few years who reports back to tell everyone that I found the love of my life, and that we should never settle for lousy treatment - and I hope you have such a story on here to tell as well. As far as suicide goes, don't ever consider that an option. Don't ever give so much importance to the external events in your life for you to ever consider giving up on yourself.

 

I'm speechless. I honestly don't know what to say other than thank you SO much.

 

You've actually inspired me to initiate NC regardless of how hard it's going to be. The hard part is going to be telling her, cause then I know after that there will be no chance of us talking again and that hurts so bad. Just thinking about it makes my chest feel incredibly heavy. Will this, too, pass? Will I get over the fact that I can't talk to her? And after a while, probably never talk to her again?

 

Road to joy, I'm so sorry to hear your hurting. But really the pain your feeling right now will in time go away. Your best bet is to stick with No contact. It may hurt like heck to begin with but, as the days pass you will see how much stronger you will become. Now, first order is to keep yourself busy. Surround yourself with family and friends if you can. Excercise, read, play a sport or whatever it is that you like to do that can help to keep your mind off her. Please believe me that you will feel better. I've been where you are and I came through it just fine with a little time. Best wishes. Stay strong.

 

Mea:)

 

I trust you. I read back to your previous posts and I see you were in a situation like this, too. Thank you for taking your time to give me advice. That goes to anyone who's replied to my threads.

 

It takes way too much energy to be sad like that, and the body is not going to put up with it for that long. The normal state is of content.

 

You can only be that sad for a while and then things will turn around.

 

So you just have to deal with it while it lasts. It will only make you stronger if you can do that.

 

Once you've hit rock bottom there's nowhere to go but up?

 

I hope so! It's exhausting to feel this way. All I want to do is sit on LS and sleep. I don't even want to eat, my appetite has diminished.

 

But so many responsibilities. School, school, school. And I need to push myself to exercise, otherwise I'll get fat.

[gd26]

I'm speechless. I honestly don't know what to say other than thank you SO much.

 

You've actually inspired me to initiate NC regardless of how hard it's going to be. The hard part is going to be telling her, cause then I know after that there will be no chance of us talking again and that hurts so bad. Just thinking about it makes my chest feel incredibly heavy. Will this, too, pass? Will I get over the fact that I can't talk to her? And after a while, probably never talk to her again?

 

Hey, glad to assist if I can. I wouldn't focus on never being able to talk to her again... that just adds too much unnecessary drama. Once you have healed from all this, you MIGHT be able to talk to her again and be friends in the future if you should choose to... but at that point, you'll no longer have the need or compulsion to talk to her. Right now just think in shorter time-frames like 3-4 months of NC. Once you manage a few more months of NC, you'll lose that strong urge to contact her, and will have more of a "what's the point of calling?" attitude. If you and her are really meant to be friends again, then you can consider being friends again a few years from now after you both heal and don't really care who each other is seeing. But until you reach that point of indifference, then it's important you stay NC and focus on you. Don't cyberstalk her or read her old emails or torture yourself in that way. Even though it still hurts, make yourself get out of bed and spend time going to classes and being outdoors and hanging out with other friends (which will distract you from thinking about her). Stay away from negative behaviors like drinking, and focus on participating in activities that make you a stronger happier person.

 

Here's a thread of my own back in December, when I was feeling sad about 'losing' the last guy. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t172339/ I was feeling depressed and had a hard time getting out of bed. Now I'm in such a better place. Although I still think about him fondly, I am starting a graduate degree program in a few weeks and moving to a new city, and going to the gym regularly - and I'm excited about my life! If you compare me then and now, I hope that will give you some comfort that things will get better if you just stay on track! These feelings of pain you are experiencing will pass....

[Ariadne]

But so many responsibilities. School, school, school. And I need to push myself to exercise, otherwise I'll get fat.

 

Haha...

 

Yeah, just take it easy for a while. Try and do as little as you can as far as responsibilities and try and go outside. Get some sun, be in nature. That helps.

 

Just weather it out. Good luck.

[Road To Joy]

Hey, glad to assist if I can. I wouldn't focus on never being able to talk to her again... that just adds too much unnecessary drama. Once you have healed from all this, you MIGHT be able to talk to her again and be friends in the future if you should choose to... but at that point, you'll no longer have the need or compulsion to talk to her. Right now just think in shorter time-frames like 3-4 months of NC. Once you manage a few more months of NC, you'll lose that strong urge to contact her, and will have more of a "what's the point of calling?" attitude. If you and her are really meant to be friends again, then you can consider being friends again a few years from now after you both heal and don't really care who each other is seeing. But until you reach that point of indifference, then it's important you stay NC and focus on you. Don't cyberstalk her or read her old emails or torture yourself in that way. Even though it still hurts, make yourself get out of bed and spend time going to classes and being outdoors and hanging out with other friends (which will distract you from thinking about her). Stay away from negative behaviors like drinking, and focus on participating in activities that make you a stronger happier person.

 

Here's a thread of my own back in December, when I was feeling sad about 'losing' the last guy. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t172339/ I was feeling depressed and had a hard time getting out of bed. Now I'm in such a better place. Although I still think about him fondly, I am starting a graduate degree program in a few weeks and moving to a new city, and going to the gym regularly - and I'm excited about my life! If you compare me then and now, I hope that will give you some comfort that things will get better if you just stay on track! These feelings of pain you are experiencing will pass....

 

You're actually making me really excited. In the past hour or so, I've gone through so many emotions. I can't wait to stabilize myself again. Right now I'm planning on eating a bowl of cereal, which in a weird way is progress. I haven't eaten anything all day! lol. Is it alright if PM you when I can? You seem like good support.

 

Haha...

 

Yeah, just take it easy for a while. Try and do as little as you can as far as responsibilities and try and go outside. Get some sun, be in nature. That helps.

 

Just weather it out. Good luck.

 

When is it too soon, though? 'Cause I know in the very beginning you have no enthusiasm to do anything and I don't want to go out and do something I'm not going to enjoy. I know going out is good, but I don't want to go out to something like a big planned trip if I'm just going to be sad the whole time 'cause I know I'm not going to talk to my ex when I get home.

 

I'm not completely naive when it comes to the recovery process. I DID once go through about 5 or 6 weeks of NC (not much, I know but better than nothing ). But I'm not sure when I'll be ready to go out and actually HAVE FUN.