lucy9216 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 There is this guy I met on an online dating site, I met him last weekend for the first time. He seemed okay, really nice nothing wrong with him but just wasnt sure if I was really attracted to him but I thought if he does ask me out again I would give it a shot, ya never know. The day after I met him he sends me a text saying it was nice to see me asked me how my day was and so on. Then he says can i see you again, I told him yes, then he says well let me in because it is hot out here. for a second I did get a little worried but then I thought he has to be kidding he does not know where I live. So I said you are joking right? and he said yes, I laughed a little about it. He sends me a text 2 days later at 2am saying "wake up" I was already awake but I also thought that I barely know this guy why is he sending me a text at this hour. I did respond though and asked him why he was texting me at 2 am, he said that he owns a strip club that was also a joke. texted with him for a little bit then I went to bed. At 5 am I get another text from him asking when he can see me again, I said soon then he says how about in 20 min. I just went back to sleep and didn't respond I was tired. when I got up at 8 I replied and said that in 20 min. would not have worked and Iwould talk to him later. Later on that day he calls me and I have 2 girls and I am studying so I am really busy when he called, think he was saying he wanted to see me again but I told him I was busy and would call him tomorrow. The next day which is today at 6 am I get a text saying morning what are u up to? I told him I was sleeping but just getting up. Then he starts asking me what is for breakfast, I told him not cooking this morning gonna go work out. He said oh I just wanted to see you again, I said guess we will have to plan something for the weekend then. I have two kids and I don't even know this guy, there is no way I am bringing anyone around them unless I know for sure I can trust the guy. This guys approach seems really crazy, but at the same time I am 29 and he is 24 I have never dated a younger guy always gone for somewhat older ones. Just wondering is he crazy? or just really interested and this is how younger people act when pursuing someone? was hopeing to get some feedback because I am questioning now if I ever do want to see him again. If he is a little crazy I don't want him anywhere near my girls! Any feedback will help, Thank you.
BobSacamento Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Well I think he's just goint at it in a different way. He'd rather put in as little effort as possible it seems. Like instead of taking you out, he just wants to come over.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 Guess I hadn't thought of that, that is always possible too. Maybe he isn't crazy? Supposed to call him today but was hopeing to get some outsider opinion before I move forward with this guy cause I really don't want to get caught up in anything crazy. It seemed really odd to be getting messages from him at 2 and 6 am.... I don't even know this guy. Oh, and if he thinks I am going to invite him over he is crazy!! I don't want him to know where i live!! not until I get to know him better.
paddington bear Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I'm kind of thinking 'run away' from what you've posted. Calling someone that late is just rude and inconsiderate. It's cute when you know each other better and know 'she's always awake until at least 3am on a Friday, so I can contact her', otherwise...it's just weird...and then at 5am. I'm also concerned about the let me in, it's hot out here. Only when you expressed shock at that did he say he was joking. What if he was outside???? What if you'd had a different reaction and said 'ha ha, come in on then' and within 2 minutes he was at your door? Do you in reality know where he was when he said that? Could have been right outside your place. All a bit stalkerish to my mind. I've recently had a guy doing similar stuff, not as extreme as you, but it's creeping me out. Too many calls, too many calls late at night wanting to meet up. And ignoring my lack of response for 6 whole weeks! And still texting me asking to see me which is making me all the more freaked out.
Talby Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 This guy sounds like a nutbag. Run and don't look back.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 oh and btw, when he texted me this morning asking me what was for breakfast he was inviting himself over for breakfast! uh.... weird, I don't know this guy and I am going to invite him over to eat with my kids..... no... thank you for the responses I was thinking it was a little bit of crazy behavior and I don't want to lead him on any further if he is a nut bag.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Oh wow, paddington bear. I had not even thought of that, I know he lives pretty close and when he was texting me he was out running errands from what he said. When I did meet him he asked me where I live and I just told him it was within 5 minutes of the place we met at.... Crap he couldn't figure out where we live could he? I am getting worried and I am thinking that I may not contact him. My gut tells me that his approach is a little off so I should stick with my gut..
love_darlings Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Whoah! That's quite serious, huh? If you think he's not really a good guy, you better avoid him now and never get interested to him anymore.
stepka Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 If he knows your name he could figure out where you live. I had a stalker once and wondered how he knew where I live so I googled myself--my address came right up.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 He does not have my full name, but I just realized that there are sites where you just put in someone's phone number and you get their name, address and all sorts of infromation. Hopefully this isn't the case and I am overreacting.
Hkizzle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 Yeah he's interested alright, he's also potentially a psycho......... You know psycho's like their targets too. Think about your kids and move on. No but seriously. Normal people don't text in middle of the night. Even if I really liked a girl I wouldn't do that, shows no self control, and very abnormal behavior.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 I feel this may be a decicate situation to handle. I wonder should I tell him that I think he is comming on a little strong and I am just interested or should I just ignore him and hopefully he takes the hint and moves on.
Hkizzle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 No you don't want to lead him on in any way what so ever. He's showing abnormal behavior and obviously doesn't care about your well being if texting in the middle of the night. My last post was semi-joke, sorry. But seriously, you don't know this guy's background, he could be anything from extremely needy, to insecure (thus potentially abusive), to just plan weird. Just tell him you're not interested and need to study and take care of your kids, something which doesn't come off as he's not good enough. Hopefully he stops texting or calling at night.
sunshinegirl Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I really think that anytime you have to ask "Is he crazy?"... that you have your answer.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 I meant to say just NOT interested, sorry... No I don't want to lead him on at all that will only make matters worse. Right now I have only met him once so there is not a lot of investment for him to hold onto (hopefully) thank you for all of the great responses, everyone said exactly what I was feeling I just wasn't sure if I was overreacting or not because I do have a tendancy to overthink things. Yes, telling him that I am just really busy with work and school and hopefully he does stop and move on.
aloneanddepressed Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 This sounds rather extreme. No one should be calling or texting anyone at those hours unless its an emergency. He sounds very clingy, inconsiderate and clueless that what he is doing is looking "crazy", which probably means he is crazy. I mean anyone who would call/text at those hours should realize it would look psycho, especially if you don't know the person that well.
Talby Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 From what you've described, at best he's a needy, clingy loser. At worst, he may be a potential danger to you and your kids. Either way the guy's bad news.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 I wonder if I throw in that I am not over my ex too if that would work or just make things worse?
Hkizzle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I thought about that too, saying another guy is in the picture. That's not a good idea since it means he's not good enough compared to someone else. But if you say you're going to be busy with study and the kids then that's not saying he's inferior.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 No you don't want to lead him on in any way what so ever. He's showing abnormal behavior and obviously doesn't care about your well being if texting in the middle of the night. My last post was semi-joke, sorry. But seriously, you don't know this guy's background, he could be anything from extremely needy, to insecure (thus potentially abusive), to just plan weird. Just tell him you're not interested and need to study and take care of your kids, something which doesn't come off as he's not good enough. Hopefully he stops texting or calling at night. Thank you Hkizzle, I think just telling him that I need to study and take care of my kids will be good way to let him down and hopefully he doesent feel like he is not good enough as you said.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 I thought about that too, saying another guy is in the picture. That's not a good idea since it means he's not good enough compared to someone else. But if you say you're going to be busy with study and the kids then that's not saying he's inferior. You are right about that, I will not mention any other guys. I will just leave it as my kids and studying. Really thank you so much for the great responses.
looking4 green grass Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I recently started chatting with a guy about the same age (I'm 29, he's 23) and he doesn't do any of those weird things!! I don't think it has anything to do with his age, I think he's a nutcase/clingy/needy and probably a whiner. You might want to have a Plan B for the "I'm busy." I tried that one with a different guy on Monday and he's called 2 or 3 times every day and keeps texting me. Guys don't seem to get that one. I don't have a Plan B!! lol
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 well crap! haha, if you do come up with a plan b let me know okay? I think I am going to wait a couple days if he continues to contact me I will tell him I just busy with the kids and school, but if he doesent contact me I just wont say anything maybe he has some maturity and can take a hint.
looking4 green grass Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 The best I got so far it "I'm movin to Alaska and I don't do long distance." hahhahahha Although it will be awkward if I run into him around town. lol Plan B really is to talk about me moving all the time. He's a doctor in residency, so he can't move anywhere for a long time. I'm kind of hoping that he decides on his own that there is no point dating a girl who is moving away. He's not really the fling type and frankly, I'm not interested in doctors, they usually turn out to be full of themselves. ha!
Author lucy9216 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 jeese, I am scared to tell this guy... hmmm... I had a semi stalker once years ago. I was really firm and mean with him though but I did date him for a while (before I knew he was crazy) and I just had to put my foot down and say it is over leave me alone!!! he did go a little nuts but eventually backed off. Confronting these types of situations are not easy, I will call him tomorrow... wish me the best of luck:eek:
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