sigurpol Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I'll try to make this short as possible. In December, I met someone through online directories... I almost never do this, just because I'm over that (for now). But the girl and I ended up having a lot in common. We never really planned on meeting, but just by dumb luck, we saw one another out one night. I rarely go out to see her, but I always talk to her a ton online, or on the phone. My friends like her a lot, I like the friends I've met of hers. She's just super cool, fun(ny), and easy to talk with. The whole thing was spontaneous. I avoided any sexual encounters this whole time until the other week when my friend had a party, and it ended up at her house (she invited us), we we're both really drunk, and it just happened. I avoided it for a few reasons, one of them being that.. I just don't have that-a strong feelings for her. I kept talking to her and everything because I genuinely enjoyed it, and I could tell she really liked me... so when this whole thing happened, I felt guilty because I wasn't sure what I wanted. But if she stopped talking to me, or got mad at me, I would get upset. But I guess that's natural with any relationship? But that's been the only time... we've never talked about it, and we still talk as if everything is fine. On the other hand, a mutual friend of mine and I have been talking the past few weeks. I used to have a thing for her, but nothing came of it since I thought she didn't have any interest in me. But we've been talking a ton, flirting, and agreed to do something this weekend. With her, I like her.. LIKE LIKE her, haha. Again, we have a lot to talk about, she's great to talk to, hardly boring, we have all the same friends (although, I think a couple of her girl friends DO NOT like me), and have a lot in common. So I don't know what to do... I was going to let things pan out more before I decided who I can try to take things further with. But I don't know. Am I weighing my options correctly?
Teslacoil Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 On the other hand, a mutual friend of mine and I have been talking the past few weeks. I used to have a thing for her, but nothing came of it since I thought she didn't have any interest in me. But we've been talking a ton, flirting, and agreed to do something this weekend. With her, I like her.. LIKE LIKE her, haha. So you hooked up with a friend, but aren't intent on starting a relationship with her, and on the other hand you have a friend you would like to start a relationship with. Well, "duh". Go for the girl you want to be in a relationship with. If the friend you hooked up with is looking for a relationship with you now, that could be a little bit of trouble. From your own description though it sounds like she isn't. On a side note: Why do people always blame sleeping with their friends on alcohol? I've never done anything drunk that I also wouldn't have done completely sober.
colosseum Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 OP I was in the exact same position you were not very long ago. And to be honest, if you don't act soon karma will come back to bite you in the a**. IE one of them is going to bail on you before you know it / will get mad at you for it, and it won't be pretty. I found out the hard way last week. 1. Be explicit with yourself, and the girls, no matter the conditions of your relationship (exclusive, "not-looking-for-long-term", non-exclusive, whatever). You give them respect and retain your dignity. 2. Don't wait around to make a decision. People hate to be left dangling and your indecision will only worsen the others' resentment. It will come back to haunt you. 3. Go with your gut. Go with the girl you really feel something for. I lingered too long, and the one my heart really wanted rejected me because I left her dangling. She made my "decision" for me. It sucked. Don't let it happen to you. I know it's hard, it sucks, but cut your losses now. Trust me on this.
Author sigurpol Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 So you hooked up with a friend, but aren't intent on starting a relationship with her, and on the other hand you have a friend you would like to start a relationship with. Well, "duh". Go for the girl you want to be in a relationship with. If the friend you hooked up with is looking for a relationship with you now, that could be a little bit of trouble. From your own description though it sounds like she isn't. On a side note: Why do people always blame sleeping with their friends on alcohol? I've never done anything drunk that I also wouldn't have done completely sober. Hahaha, yea, I mean laying that out... it seems like the answer is right in front of me. I guess what's going through my head the most is whats going to happen down the line. The first girl who I met in December is hilarious and one of the few girls I get along with this well. But like I said... I'm just not crazy about her (or like as as much as I do with the other one). She's usually asking me to come over and watch a movie, or do this... and then I get all nervous like, "If I go out, then I'm expected to do something more". Hahaha, and not that I blame the hookup on booze (I rarely do with anything), but I was just painting the picture of the situation.
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