angie2443 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I was reading the thread on weight and marriage and wondered about what bonds a couple together. Were all going to loose our looks one way or the other. Dispite the large number of people who say they look younger for their age, Ive yet to see a 40 year old man/woman who looks as good as a 20 year old. Also, what happens if a person does get into an accident and becomes disfigured? What if a person does develop a disease that changes their looks? Are certain changes in looks (acne, wrinkles) more forgivable than others (weight)? Just curious.
Trialbyfire Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 ang, I think people get too fixated on attractiveness = youth. I'm more a fan of attractiveness = health and age appropriateness. A mature man or woman has a different form of attractiveness, than teenagers or twenty-somethings. If you take care of yourself, it will show; intellectually, emotionally and physically.
Mr. Lucky Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Well said. When I'm 80, my goal is to be the best looking 80-year old I can be... Mr. Lucky
Thaddeus Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I think it's simply about choices. I mean, if someone's in an accident or suffers some sort of disease (say, cancer of the mouth) and becomes disfigured, that certainly wouldn't be a choice. And wrinkles and similar are simply naturally occurring processes as we age. Hey, I've got them too! But if someone makes the choice to avoid exercise, eat junk all day and put on massive amounts of weight, then they clearly don't respect themselves, their partners or their marriage very much. Ive yet to see a 40 year old man/woman who looks as good as a 20 year old.Oh, I do. She's SMOKIN' hot..! But that's another topic for another time.
Author angie2443 Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 ang, I think people get too fixated on attractiveness = youth. I'm more a fan of attractiveness = health and age appropriateness. . I agree with this. I understood it when I was much younger, but I'm thinking about it a little bit more now that I've hit the mid thirties mark. I've read some these threads on weight and age and many people seem to think that they, or their partners can stay almost perfect if they just kept themselves up. I just don't see that where I'm at. The people here aren't ugly and we have great neighbors, so I certainly don't mean this as an insult to them. They just have changed physically as they've aged. When I read these threads on here talking about how important attractiveness is, I wonder how this affects people's marriages over time.
Trialbyfire Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I agree with this. I understood it when I was much younger, but I'm thinking about it a little bit more now that I've hit the mid thirties mark. I've read some these threads on weight and age and many people seem to think that they, or their partners can stay almost perfect if they just kept themselves up. I just don't see that where I'm at. The people here aren't ugly and we have great neighbors, so I certainly don't mean this as an insult to them. They just have changed physically as they've aged. When I read these threads on here talking about how important attractiveness is, I wonder how this affects people's marriages over time.I suspect the delusional ones, especially about themselves, will get bitter and jaded, moving on and continuing to look for the fountain of youth by dating younger and younger, externally validating, which we know is the structure to...FAIL!
quankanne Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 When I'm 80, my goal is to be the best looking 80-year old I can be... and when *I* am 80, I plan to be the liveliest 80-year-old around. To hell with counting on your looks, it's personality that shines in the dark or light!
HsMomma Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 ang, I think people get too fixated on attractiveness = youth. I'm more a fan of attractiveness = health and age appropriateness. TBF, I wanna be you when I grow up. Wonderful answer!
Trialbyfire Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 TBF, I wanna be you when I grow up. Wonderful answer! While I thank you for your compliment, there are so many things I need to learn. For one, knee-jerk reaction!
HsMomma Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 While I thank you for your compliment, there are so many things I need to learn. For one, knee-jerk reaction! You & me both - posted a few minutes ago that I confess that I sometimes think I know everything & also that I'm glad there are people out there who will tell me I don't! Once we stop learning or even being willing to learn, that's when I think we need to just call it a day!
westernxer Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Dispite the large number of people who say they look younger for their age, Ive yet to see a 40 year old man/woman who looks as good as a 20 year old. Ain't that the truth. I'm 36 but I look 32. LOL
Lauriebell82 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Ain't that the truth. I'm 36 but I look 32. LOL I'm 26 and could pass for a teenager probably. But on the subject, I believe that yes we do all lose our looks at some point. That's why I do think that you should enter a marriage with the expectation that the person you are marrying is not always going to look exactly the same. In the case of being in an accident, that is something you can't help. I would never leave my husband if something like that was to happen to him. As far as weight gain goes, like I said in the other thread I would hope he would take pride in his appearance and try to eat healthy and exercise. So as others have said, weight is something you can help, other physical changes are not. If you can't deal with your partner looking differently at some point in their life then you shouldn't get married.
Jersey Shortie Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Well unfortunetly, I think women are more likely to be accepting of and even like how their partner matures as they get older. I don't think men like it in women and are less accepting and encouraging. That's why men from 20-80 look at porn of women in their 20s. Men suck sometimes. They want to feel all masculine and desired into their 80s but think women should stop wanting to feel feminine and desired the second they hit 30. They don't want women to be human with wrinkles. They rather have the carboard dream.
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