nautique6 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 here is the deal my ex-girlfriend and i broke up after 2 1/2 years. we had been really close, i mean we baisicly lived together. at times i felt like i couldn't get away from her ever, her parents hated me, we always faught....i fellt like it needed to end, so i told her. she wa devastated. after she left my house i felt so bad, i couldnt even think about what i had just done i mean we were everything to each other for the longest time now she wont even acknolwadge me.....i need some advice please!
GorillaTheater Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Well, I'm sure it's very painful for her. I'm not sure how you expect her to act towards you. How would you prefer your relationship to be at this point? "Just friends"? She's probably not ready for that now, and may never be. But if that's what you're looking for, and this advice probably applies regardless of what you're looking for, let her be the one to initiate contact. Give her some space and room to heal.
DustySaltus Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 It's absolutely normal to feel bad about ending a relationship. There's an old saying.."everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end". There's obviously a reason why you did this and you need to keep hammering that reason home. I would give her space for about a week or so and then try and speak with her to offer her some closure. She could come at you one of two ways. Either be real pissed and blow you off or want to renconcile things. By then you would have time to collect your thoughts as well and you can come to a rational decision. Can I ask why you decided to break things off?
Author nautique6 Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 well after that long things just were not what they used to be, when wee were good we were great, and when we were bad we were really bad, her parents never really liked me, i couldn't see my self marrying in to her family and i didn't really see us getting married either do to all the fighting, i figured it was better to do it sooner rather than later, i didn't want to wait any longer and just have thing be even tougher
boogieboy Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 She needs to keep away from you so she can get her head together. You dumped her, why do you need to talk to her? What do you get out of it?
georgia girl Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I love that saying, "Everything ends badly... otherwise it wouldn't end!" I use it all the time. Okay, on topic: you made a healthy choice for yourself and now you're sad. Guess what? It's supposed to be sad. Let it go for awhile - at least for today or perhaps a week or month. Then, figure things out. Truth be told, people always say sh*t about trusting your emotions and I gotta think that your emotions are the most unreliable thing out there. Right now, you can't see straight because you're blinded by emotion and so is she. Just let it be. Get on with other things. If it's meant to be, you will both figure that out in whatever amount of time it takes for the emotions to seep out of your current situation and so you can look at your relationship objectively. One word of advice: if you do get back together, seek counseling as a couple. You have big barriers to your relationship - long-term, significant barriers that are not insurmountable, but definitely need to be addressed. If the point is to have a healthy, satisfying relationship, then don't cheat yourselves and get the help you need. Good luck!
aboynamedmike Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 Listen to georgia girl, she gives good advice. I went thru basically the same scenario. Dated 2 1/2 yrs, parents didn't like me, told her that things weren't working out and I just wasn't happy. She was devastated, but I knew it had to be done. She was holding on to me, afraid of letting go for fear of never being loved again... I was terribly upset for a few hours after the break up. I hate hurting people, and this is by far the most I've hurt someone, but like I said, I felt like I had no choice. We tried pretty much everything, and it was at the point where I was just like, "why am I doing all of this? I'm only 20, I don't need to change my life for this person." But it's been 3 1/2 weeks or so since the breakup and things are going well for me. I get closure from the whole thing knowing that we've tried to work it out so many times but it just wouldn't work in the end. Her insecurities were pushing me away, and she was overly emotional(told me how she didn't know what she would do without me/talked about our wedding/our house/how many kids I want)... Anyway, the way I got thru it was staying busy/listening to music/hangin out with friends. I would try to never leave myself alone. I would go to the park and read, go to the gym, ride my bike around town...cause once you're alone, you start to think about the breakup and you end up feeling regret about your decision and its just not good man. You need to not dwell on the past. What's happened has happened, you did the right thing. Now stay strong and move forward!
Author nautique6 Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 i totally agree with everybody your all a lot of help thanks so much every post helps.....THANKS!
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