blackhair Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 What would your opinion be on the following matter? My girlfriend recently dumped me, which came outta the blue for me, because she said there was something missing. She said when it came to the bedroom there was no problems, so my guess is that I wasn't expressing what I felt in my heart, which is my love for her. I know this should be spontaneous but I've a phobia about displaying moments of public affection, which looking back now, is pathetic! I miss her like crazy and the time apart has made me realise how much I miss her and how much I am willing to show her exactly how much she means to me, by not taking her for granted. It's being 6 weeks since we split and I am giving her some space. I would do anything to get her back. I know she's a real girls girl and loves movies like Gerry Maguire and An officer & a gentleman: I was thinking of reinacting something like the movies, to show how much I care for her, by displaying my affection for her in public. I am not talking about doing it now, maybe in another 5-6 weeks when she has had more time to herself. Can you please advice as to whether I should do something like this and if so, any suggestions on what I should do? Thanks
carhill Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 IMO, wait until she has made proactive moves to reconsider and/or reconcile. Anything else will just be chasing her and unattractive. In the meantime, practice your new, publicly affectionate persona on other ladies
Thaddeus Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I was thinking of reinacting something like the movies, to show how much I care for her, by displaying my affection for her in public.Don't, don't, don't. Chances of it working are extremely slim, and you'll end up embarassing yourself and her in public. Carhill is right (as usual). She's the one that broke it off, so any attempt at reconciliation will have to come from her. One last thing: If you're truly not comfortable with public displays of affection, they doing so will go against your nature. If you try it, it will probably come off as stiff and stilted and she'll see right through it. You should not have to fundamentally change who you are just so you can have her in your life.
joseffrost Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I know she's a real girls girl and loves movies like Gerry Maguire and An officer & a gentleman: I was thinking of reinacting something like the movies, to show how much I care for her, by displaying my affection for her in public. I like horror films - doesn't mean I want to see an axe murder.
Author blackhair Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 I like horror films - doesn't mean I want to see an axe murder. That is a valid point alright...when you put it that way
Author blackhair Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 Don't, don't, don't. Chances of it working are extremely slim, and you'll end up embarassing yourself and her in public. Carhill is right (as usual). She's the one that broke it off, so any attempt at reconciliation will have to come from her. One last thing: If you're truly not comfortable with public displays of affection, they doing so will go against your nature. If you try it, it will probably come off as stiff and stilted and she'll see right through it. You should not have to fundamentally change who you are just so you can have her in your life. Yeah Thad, I do make sense of where your coming from, as it's hard to decipher thoughts when my feelings are confusing my judgement. So, basically you suggest, absolutely no contact with her at all???
Thaddeus Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 So, basically you suggest, absolutely no contact with her at all???Yep. That'd be my advice.
Author blackhair Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 IMO, wait until she has made proactive moves to reconsider and/or reconcile. Anything else will just be chasing her and unattractive. In the meantime, practice your new, publicly affectionate persona on other ladies Thanks for the feedback:)
Thomas X Forever Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I love how pretty much every reply in this topic has been from a guy. Lol!
northstar1 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 What would your opinion be on the following matter? My girlfriend recently dumped me, which came outta the blue for me, because she said there was something missing. She said when it came to the bedroom there was no problems, so my guess is that I wasn't expressing what I felt in my heart, which is my love for her. I know this should be spontaneous but I've a phobia about displaying moments of public affection, which looking back now, is pathetic! I miss her like crazy and the time apart has made me realise how much I miss her and how much I am willing to show her exactly how much she means to me, by not taking her for granted. It's being 6 weeks since we split and I am giving her some space. I would do anything to get her back. I know she's a real girls girl and loves movies like Gerry Maguire and An officer & a gentleman: I was thinking of reinacting something like the movies, to show how much I care for her, by displaying my affection for her in public. I am not talking about doing it now, maybe in another 5-6 weeks when she has had more time to herself. Can you please advice as to whether I should do something like this and if so, any suggestions on what I should do? Thanks The reality is that life is not like the movies (The notebook, Jerry McGuire, Say Anything). Don't do anything. If she is truly over things, then she simply won't be in a place to appreciate your efforts and you'll feel rebuffed and angry/upset.
lorilynne Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 The reality is that life is not like the movies (The notebook, Jerry McGuire, Say Anything). Don't do anything. If she is truly over things, then she simply won't be in a place to appreciate your efforts and you'll feel rebuffed and angry/upset. Actually life is just like every one of those movies...minus the last 20 minutes where everyone realizes that they really do love each other and everything ends happily ever after! Sorry, I'm bitter right now. I watch those movies and think "Yeah, right!" Anyways, back to your situation blackhair. Don't do it. When someone says "something is missing". It means they are looking for more or someone different. You are not going to magically become that. It's their way of saying you're not the one for them. It what was missing was a lack of affection on your part, she would have said, "I think we should go our separate ways because you are not showing me enough affection." Sorry to have to tell you all of this but it's true. She's only maintaining contact to make herself feel better. Not you. Don't help her, help yourself. Start NC now.
Recommended Posts