Eclypse Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I hung out with a girl I'd just met a few days ago. She only just moved to this country to study, and had asked one of my friends whom she knew from online before if he knew anyone who went to the university she was going to go to, and he introduced her to me(on msn). She told him my pics were hot and I was a very cool guy. We seemed to hit it off. Well so we hung out and it was a nice day, she was as cute as her pics showed. I got attracted to her but didn't want to make any moves on her since we did just meet. I did however put my arm around her twice. Perhaps this was a mistake, I am still learning the etiquette of dating. She was really shy. But anyway later on she texts me saying she'd rather be just friends. So I text back saying I'm cool with that, but am obviously a little dissapointed as she was a really cool girl. Today though she texts me again saying how she's really lonely and wants to hang out. I'm not really sure what to make of this now. I said I was free next week and she mentioned again how she was really lonely now. I am not quite sure what to make of this. Is she perhaps trying to play hard to get? Or just wants an innocent hang out?
confused192 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I think she was probably being sincere with you when she said she just wanted to be friends. However, moving to an entirely new country would likely be a scary and intimidating experience and yes, probably leaves her feeling a little lonely from time to time. I think she was probably just looking for someone to hang out with and she knew you were cool. Just my two cents
boogieboy Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 She wants to use you for company whenever SHE wants. Since you cant have her the way you want her, you shouldnt be hanging out with her. She will have no respect for you, and she will use you for company while she dates someone else. Cut her off now, she will distract you from trying to date other galz. Dont waste your time hanging out with her, not matter how lonely she is. You have been friend zoned, and there is no way to get where you wnt with her. Dont be a sucker that says "i really dont mind bieng friends with her", we know you do.
True2form Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Well I agree with elements of both the above comments. Saying someone's hot over pictures and thinking they're cool over msn means nothing. Sometimes you finally get to meet someone you've heard about/seen pictures of and they're great but...the spark isn't there. I dont think she's consciously using you but if she's anything like me she'll be very happy to be friends with you and then yes, if some guy comes along who lights her spark she's going to be very aware of your feelings that you expressed and maybe move off because she doesn't want to run it in your face. Or she could do the opposite and unintentionally rub it in your face...I mean, which would you rather? It's terrifying moving country and starting somewhere new, she won't forget what you've done for her but I suggest you start to move on. You said you're still learning dating etiquette. If you were the type of guy who was dating every other woman you met you'd fine it very easy to shrug your shoulders and move it, it's because of your inexperience that you're getting confused and determined to hold onto everything she says. I mean, even if she leapt on you and started kissing you, I'd still take it with a pinch of salt because humans are flawed, impulsive and confusing. Anyway, I wish you good luck, take care of each other and try not to take things too personally.
Author Eclypse Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Thanks for the replies. I am rather green at dating indeed. I'm usually on the lookout always for a potential date, but yes I do not go on many at all. I guess I was hoping something would happen with this one, so I was a bit disappointed. She was a pretty awesome, fun girl. So should I carry on hanging out with her then? I am pretty happy that I made a new friend, and I don't think it would be very nice to leave her without anyone in her first few weeks of semester without knowing anyone at all in the country. But then again an earlier poster mentioned you should never keep being friends with someone who you want to date, but they just see you as a friend.
Hkizzle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I disagree with those guys, I think this situation can be salvaged since it's relatively new. lol, first buy these three books: The Art of Seduction The Game (a biography, not a manual) The Mystery Method Read it for education only so you don't get friend zoned by girls. But you need to have integrity since the books can potentially teach a guy to be manipulative and a player. With regard to this particular girl, be friends with her, why not? Don't invest emotionally and just have fun. If you want her though you need to slow down. Being too direct is never good. Just be friendly and flirt, attraction is already there, you need to make her comfortable first before hitting on her. Oh, and don't be subservient, tell her how pretty and nice she is, or you like her till you know she wants you bad or you're guaranteed to be friend zoned........
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I'd advise you to ditch her. She's lonley, so she wants to use you- because you are the ONLY person she knows. If you are into her and she doesn't feel the same way- you'll end up feeling bad about the friendship. It would be different if both of you didn't feel the spark- but because you did, and she didn't- you are in a vulnerable position. Learn to stay away from "friendships" like these when you are pursuing relationships. You're better off not going there. Why willingly put yourself in a position to pine for someone that doesn't feel the same? You'll end up twisted inside out. It's not worth it. She can use her resources to find other people to hang with.
Author Eclypse Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Thanksies for responses. I've decided I'm just going to go about my daily life as before. I'll catch up with her every now and then as friends and if something happens that's cool, but I'm not holding my breath. There's plenty of other chicks I like and I don't think I would like to get bogged down by pining for one I guess I'll chalk it up to a learning experience and hope that I manage to find the right person for me sometime soon..
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