John777 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 My gf & I have been on and off for almost 2 years. She dumps me, says we can only be friends, then before we know it, we're seeing each other again. We broke up in Jan. and got back together in April and here we are again. She broke up with me AGAIN!! We didn't speak after the breakup for 1 day, then she texted me the day after, and we spoke about our relationship. The day after taht, she invited me over to have lunch, so I ran over to see her. We chatted about every day stuff and when it was time to say goodbye, she kissed my lips and hugged me. We stood hugging for a good 10-15 minutes. I kissed her lips and her shoulders but that was it. She held me tight wouldn't let me go! I asked her so what does this mean? Are we talking again and she said 'I don't know'. WTF! Even yesterday, she texted me for hours and we talked about nonsense. I don't understand what's going on.. does she want to be with me or not???!!! Btw,her reason for breaking up with me is the usual... 'we're different people, I don't see a future between us'. Can anyone tell me where I stand?
CaliGuy Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 There's an old saying "People who truly love you don't leave you." I can cite many cases where someone has stayed in a relationship far longer than they should have simply because they loved that person (even though that person did not love them back the same way). Not sure how much you love her or how old you both are. All I can say is her ACTIONS are telling you that she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do her. Your best bet when someone is pulling away from you is to do the same. Pull away from her. When she is confused or unsure, the worst thing you can do is try and change her mind by thinking you need to be "up in her grill" or trying to use "logic" to explain why she should stay with you. No amount of begging, pleading or crying is going to work. Your best bet, my friend, is to just simply slip out of her life. Maybe some limited contact. Reconnect with friends, find new hobbies, hit the gym, etc. In other words, fill your life with so much activity that you don't have time to wonder what she is up to. Because honestly, if she really wanted to be with you, she certain wouldn't break up with you... I know this may sound cold or cruel, but it's the truth. Her actions are telling you where her heart is. Her words mean nothing. Pay attention to what she does. That will tell you for sure. All I can say, to answer your original question, is she is very confused BUT at the same time, seems to be content that you aren't the one. Don't solidify her opinion by making it worse. Disappear from her life and let her see what life is like without you. I honestly think you should move on because she's done this twice now.
Thaddeus Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Can anyone tell me where I stand?You stand where you plant your flag in the ground and say, "No more." No more going back. No more drama. No more wondering what's going on in her head (she probably doesn't know either). No more being the back-up guy while she looks for a bigger, better deal. So you can choose to say, "No more." Or you can choose to continue to dance upon her strings. Choice, as always, is yours.
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