swearmegan Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 My boyfriend and I go well. He loves me more than I can imagine. He could remember everything that I said. He could appear at any time in any place when I need him. He loves more than I do for him. But when I receive the phone from my male friends, he just gets annoying and hysteria. He won't say anything suddenly and keep calm. I told him why the guy called me. He just say,"It is ur business." Actually, I know he is acute to these things. He thinks I should keep away from these guys. I these guys should be lost. Come on, I have my circle. I have the right to make friends whoever girl or boy. I love him, but he is not all my life. So I don't know how to deal with this. Anybody could help me?
Surfer Dude Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Oh no... yet another needy chump who thinks he can possess, objectify and control his girlfriend like a material possession. I've always wondered, why do you women put up with it? The guy obviously has no self esteem and no life besides you. To be fair, women usually act like this more than guys, and let me tell you it's extremely annoying and unattractive!
collegekid491 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Well, the problem is extremely strait forward, he expects you to love and behave like he does. Which as you learn in kindergarden, won't happen, cause we are all different! Basically you have to tell him what you have told us, that you have the right to be with friends with people, regardless of the hardware they are packing. Although, just a warning, he won't like it. But as the poster above stated, its a severe insecurity, and if he actually does love you (which i doubt, sounds like infatuation) then he would trust you. I mean, my gf has guy friends she goes alone to coffee with, I don't care, I do the same thing, its no threat to my position. Even if they were, it would help me dodge a bullet because I wouldn't date a chick that sways her opinion of me that easily
colosseum Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Oh no... yet another needy chump who thinks he can possess, objectify and control his girlfriend like a material possession. I've always wondered, why do you women put up with it? The guy obviously has no self esteem and no life besides you. To be fair, women usually act like this more than guys, and let me tell you it's extremely annoying and unattractive! Yeah. I'll be honest, when I first entered the world of dating I was kinda like that--needy, possessive. Bleh; no one likes that. And it really really does no one any good. He is suffering from a fear that doesn't exist, so not only is he suffering, but making u suffer too. Just tell him what you told us, he has to figure it out.
boogieboy Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 If youre not in love with him, you shouldnt stay with him. Thats it.
Author swearmegan Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Yeah. I'll be honest, when I first entered the world of dating I was kinda like that--needy, possessive. Bleh; no one likes that. And it really really does no one any good. He is suffering from a fear that doesn't exist, so not only is he suffering, but making u suffer too. Just tell him what you told us, he has to figure it out. Thank you guys. These days, I talked to him and asked him to be gentle, relaxing and not to be possessive. He has the right to contact other female partners. It seems he accepted the advice. But still asked me where i was going. Who i contacted. I am vexed.If he doesn't change, I will say goodbye to him.
Author swearmegan Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 BTW, is this some kind of mental problem? What caused that?
Hkizzle Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 He sounds like the classic insecure guy......... Possessive guys are know to be very sweet and caring but flip out when their GFs have any independence. They are also potentially abusive emotionally or even physically. He better give you your own room or you need to move on.
Talby Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 BTW, is this some kind of mental problem? What caused that? Insecurity caused by low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in himself.
EddieN Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 See, what guys like this fail to realize is that there's no need to get all sensitive and huffy. A guy who doesn't worry would think like this: If you are a faithful girlfriend, despite all the male attention you get, you will still go home to him at the end of the day. If you are an unfaithful girlfriend and fall for some of the male attention, then that will just prove to him that he is above you and deserves better anyway. That kind of thinking is a win-win, since the guy doesn't worry either way. The way your boyfriend is thinking is a lose-lose. If you're faithful, then he is just being paranoid and insecure and will probably lose you if he keeps it up. If you're not faithful, then his fears might be true and he might not be so paranoid, but he will have so much attachment to a cheating girlfriend that he will get burned bad. Not sure if you can explain this philosophy to him, but the way we think and compute possibilities really affects the outcomes of those possibilities. Unfortunately, it's his choice how he wants to handle this situation, and only he can choose to get rid of his insecurities.
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