candicew Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Hi, I am newhere but my sister says it is awesome site so I am asking for advise. I broke up with my boyfriend not to long ago because I did not like the way that he had become towards me. We were together over 6 years and it got worse and worse. It is hard for me to not be near him. I do love him and I know I broke up with him but now I think what is worse being with him and trying to point out the things that upsets me or feel this pain inside. it really feels like it is never going to end. It is hard to watch the time go by without him. it has been over 2 months and this has all of a sudden crep on me. I was fine before, I even went to a family funeral and did not feel the need to contact him durning that time. My sister has been saying things like with NC it gets better with time. But how do you get over the desire to go a day without talking to them when you are so use to it.
Taucher Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Hello Firstly, it sounds like you don't exactly regret your decision to end it with your ex? Is that correct? Hard to tell though as there is not much info in your post. Second, you went out for six years? Of course it is going to be difficult to be apart. That does not mean that you didn't make the right decision in leaving him. People can get used to anything if they spend enough time so maybe you are missing him because you are used to him being around, not because you are right for each other. NC does, in almost all cases, make it easier. However, most people on this site are the dumped and you are the dumper. Also, I noticed in your post that you called him your boyfriend, and not your 'ex'. This is telling to me. Are you regretting at all your decision to leave him? Also, you do not indicate how HE has taken this. Has he been on NC and now you are wondering what he is thinking, or has he been contacting you a lot and begging you to come back? Some more detail would help T
Author candicew Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 Apart of me regrets it...but for the most part I am happier. We do have some contact not alot though. He gets funny and bitter thinking I want him back..I do nto want to be with him. I do miss him. I want to know how to make it eazier durning these hard times. it is not every minute and I do not go crazy thinking of him but at times I think of the old realtionship. I was not happy and inturn I did not treat him all that well. I am just stuck in this one feeling. I contacted him to ask him advise as I am buying some tihngs and he knows that I would ask him first. So I txt him and he replyed very nasty note, i then told him that there is no need to be nasty i asked him one thing and that was it. He called me a few times, I did not answer because we fight to much but he left a message saying he was sorry he was frustrated because of his friend. He gave me the info that I needed and thats it. I am not even thinking of the nice message that he left I am still thinking of the mean one he left... I am mad but I miss him...wow I feel unhealthy.
Taucher Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Ok, clearer now. I will be honest. You need to do NC. Maybe more for his sake than your own. I am guessing that he is heartbroken and wants you back. You are trying to force him to be friends and he is just not ready for that right now. He may never be able to be friends with you. He left you a 'mean' message because he wants you back. Honestly, my GF left me 2 months ago, after a 4 year relationship. I am heartbroken (but getting better). If my ex texted me and asked for my advice about something, I would probably reply with quite a mean text because it would hurt me. I understand where he is coming from. People who have been dumped do not want to get texts from their exes about mundane, everyday things. This is saying to them that their ex, who dumped them, has moved on and sees them as a friend now. "I want to know how to make it eazier durning these hard times" To make it easier, you need to go NC. He will be able to move on better (as you have done) and you will not get any nasty replies to your texts. It's great that this is the right decision for you, go easy on him. You have moved on. He has not. Take care T
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