A beautiful woman walks by, and yet another opportunity gone by...I kick myself hard.

[Sam Cooke Fan]

Okay folks, so you meet people through friends, at parties, at clubs, at gatherings, etc. etc. etc.

 

But what about at the cafe, on the streets, at a sandwich shop? People are busy, they have things to do, places to go to. But that doesn't mean we don't have to meet new people right?

 

I've been in the city for a few months now and everyday I kick myself because I see all these beautiful people I would love to meet up with, but I can't ever take that first step; ever.

 

Game people call it street approaches, but whatever it's called, I'm always thinking too damn much; what do I say? what do I talk about? How long is this conversation?

 

And what the hell do you do if she's on the phone?!? (because this just happened).

 

I just hate this daily life of regretting, the coulda-woulda-shoulda. That has to end now.

 

Male & Female perspectives both much appreciated...Thanks!!

[samspade]

You should say something, and if nothing clever comes to mind, go with "hello."

 

Now, while I don't think you should make excuses, you also have to judge when it's a good time and when it's not. A girl who is on the phone, about to hop on a bus, shuffling to get to work, etc. will not be as receptive.

 

But strolling in the park, at a museum, in a cafe, at the store....just strike up a conversation. Don't worry about the outcome - that will kill you. Be freewheeling about it and your attractiveness will show through.

 

Side note: Some women might post here that they would never give their # to a man on the street. Don't listen to them. Women usually say one thing and do another. Most of the women I've met through random approaches say "I don't normally give my number out, but..." Kind of like a woman who doesn't "normally" sleep on the first date.

[Thaddeus]

Happened to me today, just a couple of hours ago.

 

I was in the grocery store fumbling through the tomatoes when a very attractive woman came by. A quick glance showed me she had no wedding ring on.

 

The conversation went something like this:

Me: You look like you know what you're doing. I need a little help here. How can I tell a decent tomato from one that's not

so

good?

 

Her: Check where the stem was. It should be firm, not soft (blah blah blah... lots of other stuff about tomatoes).

 

Me: Firm. Not soft. Yes. I guess that works in a lot of ways, doesn't it?

 

She: (smiling & blushing slightly) Yes, I guess you're right.

 

Me: What are you making tonight?

 

Her: Haven't decided yet. Maybe some pasta or something. You?

 

Me: I do an astounding chicken curry with basmati rice. I'

m

off to get the rest of the spices shortly. I'

m

Thaddeus, by the way (extend my hand).

 

Her: Hi Thaddeus, I'

m

(her name - she shakes my hand). You cook?

 

Me: Love to. You like Indian food?

 

Her: Yes, I do, as long as it's not too spicy.

 

Me: Well, there's a little Indian place just around the corner that's really good. I know the family that runs it (this happens to be absolutely true). I don't go there that often, maybe once a month, but I'd be delighted to treat you for dinner there.

 

Her: Oh, I don't know. My husband may not think that's such a good idea.

 

Me: Oh. Well. *nervous smile* Nice chatting with you.

 

Her: You too. Enjoy your chicken curry!

OK, so it didn't go exactly a planned but the point is this: There are attractive women all over the place. The more you try this sort of approach, the better you'll become at it.

[Sam Cooke Fan]

Happened to me today, just a couple of hours ago.

 

I was in the grocery store fumbling through the tomatoes when a very attractive woman came by. A quick glance showed me she had no wedding ring on.

 

The conversation went something like this:

Me: You look like you know what you're doing. I need a little help here. How can I tell a decent tomato from one that's not

so

good?

 

Her: Check where the stem was. It should be firm, not soft (blah blah blah... lots of other stuff about tomatoes).

 

Me: Firm. Not soft. Yes. I guess that works in a lot of ways, doesn't it?

 

She: (smiling & blushing slightly) Yes, I guess you're right.

 

Me: What are you making tonight?

 

Her: Haven't decided yet. Maybe some pasta or something. You?

 

Me: I do an astounding chicken curry with basmati rice. I'

m

off to get the rest of the spices shortly. I'

m

Thaddeus, by the way (extend my hand).

 

Her: Hi Thaddeus, I'

m

(her name - she shakes my hand). You cook?

 

Me: Love to. You like Indian food?

 

Her: Yes, I do, as long as it's not too spicy.

 

Me: Well, there's a little Indian place just around the corner that's really good. I know the family that runs it (this happens to be absolutely true). I don't go there that often, maybe once a month, but I'd be delighted to treat you for dinner there.

 

Her: Oh, I don't know. My husband may not think that's such a good idea.

 

Me: Oh. Well. *nervous smile* Nice chatting with you.

 

Her: You too. Enjoy your chicken curry!

OK, so it didn't go exactly a planned but the point is this: There are attractive women all over the place. The more you try this sort of approach, the better you'll become at it.

 

LOL Holy S*** Thaddeus! You can't expect me to be Cary Grant right now when I'm still learning how to put on my pants!

 

In time though, one can only hope...and make true, in my case. Thanks for a great example.

[blackwidow290]

Hi, interesting topic. Im def an attractive woman and Ive been approached many times at coffee shops/street/random places. I do believe that its really hard to get a woman's number like this, but its possible and I say that it totally depends on the approach and her mood. I wish guys would do this sort of things even more often actually, but in a non-threatening, I want to sleep with you kind of way, or in other words, not coming on too strong. Just being friendly works best. Either way, you'll make her feel good and put a smile on her face..and make a meaningful interaction even though it might lead to nothing. Nothing to lose I say.

[blackwidow290]

oh and women that get immediately offended by this sort of thing are either very insecure or way too uptight.

[espec10001]

Flash money at them.

[Bayern]

Thaddeus - you're good.

 

Don't know if she was really married or she just said that, but ..damn. OP take a few lessons from Thaddeus (don't let it go to your head, though...)

[Thaddeus]

LOL Holy S*** Thaddeus! You can't expect me to be Cary Grant right now when I'm still learning how to put on my pants!

 

In time though, one can only hope...and make true, in my case. Thanks for a great example.

Well, Carey Grant I'm not. (He's really dead.) But I've also got 50 years under my belt and am not afraid in the least to let that experience speak and use it.

 

Just keep at it. It's just like a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger it becomes and the less resistance you'll experience.

 

Edit to add:

 

Don't know if she was really married or she just said that

Well, she wasn't wearing a ring so I made an assumption that she wasn't married. That said, I do know people - both male and female - that don't wear rings even though they're married. It's a bit of a crap shoot sometimes.

 

But whether she was or wasn't isn't the point. (If, however, I discovered she was married, then I'd back off completely.) Point is that there are opportunities all around us. We just have to be open to taking advantage of them when they present themselves.

[Bayern]

Edit to add:

 

Well, she wasn't wearing a ring so I made an assumption that she wasn't married. That said, I do know people - both male and female - that don't wear rings even though they're married. It's a bit of a crap shoot sometimes.

 

But whether she was or wasn't isn't the point. (If, however, I discovered she was married, then I'd back off completely.) Point is that there are opportunities all around us. We just have to be open to taking advantage of them when they present themselves.

 

Yeah I know these things. I was complimenting you if it came across in another way. I understood what you did...

[BobSacamento]

Yeah it sucks when you see attractive women and have nothing to say. I had this happen at a deli recently while waiting in line. She was in front of me and couldn't stop fixing her outfit and hair. I usually take that as a good sign. She'd give me a glance and I'd smile. Even at the end she held the door for me while I was leaving, it was almost like she was waiting for me. Granted this might be my imagination but in the end I feel like I blew it.

[CarrieT]

Thaddeus, where do you live and will you go out with me?

[Thaddeus]

Yeah I know these things. I was complimenting you if it came across in another way. I understood what you did...

No offence taken. Not even a bit.

Thaddeus, where do you live and will you go out with me?

You like Indian food?

[westernxer]

Most women who go to grocery stores are married. Oh, and public encounters rarely unfold like they do in the movies.

[Thaddeus]

Most women who go to grocery stores are married. Oh, and public encounters rarely unfold like they do in the movies.

I'll certainly agree with you on the movie bit. Thing is, I'm in a town with two universities and a major college plus a series of satellite colleges. LOTS - and I do mean LOTS - of single women around.

[D-Lish]

Most women who go to grocery stores are married. Oh, and public encounters rarely unfold like they do in the movies.

 

What are the single ones doing for food?? lol:lmao:

[Thaddeus]

What are the single ones doing for food?? lol:lmao:

I take them out to this nice little Indian restaurant I know!

[monkey00]

Yeah it sucks when you see attractive women and have nothing to say. I had this happen at a deli recently while waiting in line. She was in front of me and couldn't stop fixing her outfit and hair. I usually take that as a good sign. She'd give me a glance and I'd smile. Even at the end she held the door for me while I was leaving, it was almost like she was waiting for me. Granted this might be my imagination but in the end I feel like I blew it.

 

Don't take it so hard on yourself dude. Some women are natural flirts and there have been many encounters where women throw their hair back or play with it in my presence...in my case most of them were taken or just attention wh0ring.

 

Back to the OP, I believe that's what you call cold approaches. I think having the ability to improvise and think on your feet is a good way of making conversation out of nothing. For example, you could comment on something interesting she's wearing, ask for help/directions, comment on the situation, etc. Of course in all cases, you will likely make more progress if both of you make EC.

 

And as for the #/email thing, in most cases women will give it to you. The hard part is making a date with them. Good luck!

[D-Lish]

And as for the #/email thing, in most cases women will give it to you. The hard part is making a date with them. Good luck!

 

If that were true- making the approach wouldn't seem so daunting would it?

[Bayern]

Thaddeus, out of curiousity - what university level students are you looking for? You say you have 50 years (maybe I read it wrong) of experience putting you at like...over 60?

[monkey00]

If that were true- making the approach wouldn't seem so daunting would it?

 

I think it would depend on how you go about asking for it. If you're attempting to secure her contact to 'hangout' or go on a date in the future, you will have easier odds of getting it. Or on the other hand, if you're making plans/date with her on the spot...whether or not you secure her contact would depend on if she rejects or accepts your advances.

 

I would believe it's easier for a woman to not answer their phones than flat out reject a guy in person.

[westernxer]

I'll certainly agree with you on the movie bit. Thing is, I'm in a town with two universities and a major college plus a series of satellite colleges. LOTS - and I do mean LOTS - of single women around.

 

College is the exception. Very true.

[westernxer]

What are the single ones doing for food?? lol:lmao:

 

They eat at restaurants or Starbucks. LOL

[Thaddeus]

Thaddeus, out of curiousity - what university level students are you looking for? You say you have 50 years (maybe I read it wrong) of experience putting you at like...over 60?

Oh, I'm not interested in cruising for university students, not at all. The comment was simply a refutation of the assertion that only married women go to grocery stores, that's all.

[colosseum]

Yeah it sucks when you see attractive women and have nothing to say. I had this happen at a deli recently while waiting in line. She was in front of me and couldn't stop fixing her outfit and hair. I usually take that as a good sign. She'd give me a glance and I'd smile. Even at the end she held the door for me while I was leaving, it was almost like she was waiting for me. Granted this might be my imagination but in the end I feel like I blew it.

 

I hate that. Happens to me too often, that's why I'm determined, starting today (well, yesterday when I posted this actually) that I will make at least 3 approaches EVERYDAY just so I can get better. I just hate that coulda-shoulda-woulda feeling, and I don't want it anymore!

 

I think having the ability to improvise and think on your feet is a good way of making conversation out of nothing. For example, you could comment on something interesting she's wearing, ask for help/directions, comment on the situation, etc. Of course in all cases, you will likely make more progress if both of you make EC.

 

And as for the #/email thing, in most cases women will give it to you. The hard part is making a date with them. Good luck!

 

See, ability to improvise and all is fine; my problem is just OPENING MY MOUTH AND MAKING A SOUND. I have all these thoughts running through my head like sports cars on the autobahn, but when it comes to articulating them, the Great Wall of China appears. Grr...

 

Thaddeus, out of curiousity - what university level students are you looking for? You say you have 50 years (maybe I read it wrong) of experience putting you at like...over 60?

 

I was wondering that too. But regardless of your age, that was still really really smooth.