fabulous_chk Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 4 years relationship, broken up for 4 months 1 week. Several attempts at NC, but we were both miserable. Mantained contact every 3 days. With no pressure from both sides our communication became better to the point that we'd joke and be happy. I have completely let him go as a lover, but welcomes him in my life as a friend. Things are good at the moment. I have seconds of wtf moments but easily dislodged from my brain by keeping myself active. Also, a new guy helps keep my mind off the past. The future is exciting. I looked at my ex's pictures and just felt glad that he was part of my life and will continue to be. I believe you will only begin to heal if you have completely let go of the person. And they might return to your life and play a better role. It doesn't have to be a complete loss. I still advocate NC during the first 2 months of break-up though, only because we are not rational during that period of time and will do and say things that are better left unsaid. When sanity comes back, breaking NC can help us view the ex in a different way. NC, LC, then happy, positive contact thru phone helped me save a friendship I will always cherish. I want him to be happy. This is the period of time I can finally say I've healed.
EmptyPromises Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 good for you unfortunatley idk if i could ever be friends with my ex due to the fact he verbally abused me... want to but dont think it would be healthy whatsoever
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