lovdnlost Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 so saturday is a party for a mutual friend of mine and my ex. our friend invited both of us and she warned me that my ex was going to be there. i'm pretty good friends with this friend but i have mixed feelings about going simply because i haven't seen her or truly truly talked to her in 2 months. i'm feeling pretty good about things but i'm not sure if seeing her will just throw me back? should i go or steer clear?
brock9911 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 umm yeah this exact thing happened to me, only we were seperated for about 1 month at the time. it was a suprise going away party for a friend and i felt wrong about not going so i did. she wound up getting drunk and making a big spectacle in front of everyone. about how much she loves me and im off f'ing other girls and how i dont love her and its not over. it was a disaster. and i didnt break up with her, she broke up with me. its your choice, but i wouldnt let her be the reason to not have a good time. just keep your distance and if it gets uncomfortable than leave.
Author lovdnlost Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 thanks brock. you're right, she shouldn't be the reason for me not to have a good time. i shouldn't stop myself from going places just because she's gonna be there. then its like she still has control over me but really she doesn't. i guess my main concern was that i am in a good place right now and i just don't wanna f*ck that up by seeing her. but i guess i'm in control of that right?
boogieboy Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 thanks brock. you're right, she shouldn't be the reason for me not to have a good time. i shouldn't stop myself from going places just because she's gonna be there. then its like she still has control over me but really she doesn't. i guess my main concern was that i am in a good place right now and i just don't wanna f*ck that up by seeing her. but i guess i'm in control of that right? Only you are in control of that. Try to meet new people, and be prepared for your ex to be all over someone there. If you are having a good time, your ex will be jealous. Make sure you have a GREAT time. I stress meeting new people..new prospects....get it?
brock9911 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 yeah your the one in control of your life, no one else. remember this, if your doing good now, than you should be proud to show that off. if she sees you happy and having a great time with life, than theres nothing she can do to take that away. if she says or does something stupid at the party, only she will look stupid. you will look like the mature one. believe me when i say that when that happened with my ex, it made my feelings of freedom that much stronger. i was happy to be single. good luck and dont fret
Author lovdnlost Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 hey boogie...you're right! i am in control. the party is at a club and i've been hitting the clubs alot lately and have met alot of people just because i was having a good time...i won't let this saturday be any different just because she's there. she's already in another relationship so the chances of her being all over another guy are slim but whatever, if she is then she is....i'm not gonna let it phase me. I'll definitely have a GREAT time..haha!! brock..thanks for the words of encouragement and reminding me that i'm all good. i am proud that i am happy again in life and i definitely will not let her presence affect that. thanks again!! i feel much better!
Author lovdnlost Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Update… so I went to the club and saw her. I’ll admit I was havin a bit of an anxiety attack when I first got there cuz I hadn’t seen her in 2 months. I went straight to the bar, took a shot of tequila, grabbed a drink and joined the party. I saw my friends and said hi to them then started to head to the dance floor and there she was. We caught each others attention, I raised my glass to her to say hi and she had a look of surprise, happiness and hesitation. I went up to where she was because she was dancing with some of my other friends. I said hi to them and as I looked at my ex to say hi, she walked towards me, gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. I told her I’m good and then walked away. throughout the night I was having a good time and I would notice her checkin me out from time to time. Friends kept askin me if I was ok, especially after seeing her and I assured them that I was all good, that it didn’t phase me at all and they were happy to hear that and we’re actually surprised. Towards the end of the night, one of my friends brought a girl friend of hers and i was told that she was into me. I was on the dance floor when she came up to me and started grinding with me so we got into it. When we stopped and I turned around, there was the ex, looking right at us and she didn’t look to happy. Oh well! Needless to say, I had a good time at the club. A friend of ours drove my ex home and apparently she was pissed. When he asked her why she was said: “its like he doesn’t care anymore. how can he dance with karen like that in front of me? He was doing that on purpose. I guess I’m a little jealous” I kinda felt bad about the whole thing the next day. I mean, all up on someone else in front of the ex but I shouldn’t feel bad about it right? Was it inappropriate of me to do that?
brock9911 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Nah, you were both in the same place at the same time. key words, YOUR NOT TOGETHER. don't worry about her. you were civil, no fighting. you weren't a jerk. you said hello n she hugged you. that's all good and dandy, but it doesn't separate the fact that your a single guy now. go out and do your thing. thats what lifes all about my friend. live it up
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