brock9911 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 today is my ex's birthday, but y do i have this nagging urge to send her a message saying happy birthday. i havent and i know its not a good idea, but i cant stop thinking about her or the bday. WTF
Thaddeus Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Frankly, I don't see the harm in it. Just a quick email or text (though I don't like the idea of texting, generally) just to say "Happy Birthday! Hope you're well!" would be fine. Yes, technically it's a break of NC but if you keep it to that type of message without getting all, "Oh, how I miss you!" and "Remember the good times we had?" sort of stuff, I don't see anything wrong with it.
joseffrost Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I agree with Thad - it doesn't necessarily suggest that you are pining for them or thinking about them constantly, just that you are mature enough to wish them the best on a big day. It's my ex's graduation today and we had a short chat yesterday, just congratulations, good luck, etc. I don't think it did any harm and I don't think you wishing her happy birthday will either.
bella16 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My ex's birthday is coming up in a week and a half and I'm going to be in the position I already know it. Sucks because I spent a lot of money on his birthday gift, bought it the day before he dumped me. Got him an authentic NFL jersey with his name and number stitched into it and I cannot return it... it just arrived in the mail yesterday and of course I got upset again. But I'm just gonna hang it in my closet and maybe give it to him in the future. Whether or not I will text him happy birthday I dont know really. I don't want to but I know I will have the same urge as you. I would just say those 2 words and leave it at that. Thats what I'll probably do.
sunshinegirl Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 No no no no, don't send any kind of birthday message. YOU will only feel worse afterwards because no matter the response (if any), you will start analyzing it and wondering what it means and perhaps hoping her "thank you" means you're on the road to reconciliation. (At least that has been MY experience any time I have indulged one of my own nagging urges.) So don't believe anyone who says there's "no harm" in contacting an ex on an occasion like this. As long as you have any remaining romantic feelings for this person, it will only make you feel worse to reach out. I say this from painful experience. Just ride the wave of the urge until it passes - and it will eventually pass.
Author brock9911 Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 well i took sunshinegirls advice. sorry guys. i held tough and didnt call or text or message. i just let it be. its been 2 weeks and i didnt want to open a can of worms. the last thing i need is to say something which tells her im thinking of her. than it opens a hole chain of events that will start with her telling me how much she misses me and loves me. at this point i cant handle that. plus im sure it will f*ck with her head too. give her false hopes
sunshinegirl Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Good for you, Brock. I'm sure it feels hard to sit on your hands, but in reality you are protecting yourself from more pain and confusion.
acd303 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I got a message from ex "hi, happy birthday:)" I haven't replied. It is strange... Year ago she told me how much she loves me blah blah blah, usual bull**** Her birthday is in a few months and i will not wish her happy birthday. I don't want to call her, and i don't care. Whatever.... That was her choice to erase me from her life. And i don't recomend anyone to do so, except that you are over them, REALLY over them.
Recommended Posts