blackwidow290 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Im not sure how to take a comment the guy I'm into made! We live in different cities and after visiting each other, he was only txting me and was not making much of an effort so I stopped talking to him. He recently contacted me and this is how it went... He said 'Im sorry I stopped talking to you, I got scared. no one' has really accepted me like that before and accepted my friends too. that was really cool. most girls want to find a man, change him, drain his life. not saying that women dont have lives of their own but u know they just want to be like mine mine mine' I said alright and apologized for a sort of mean Id sent him. and he said that I wasnt mean. he was just being immature. I said that his views are 'interesting'. and he replies 'dont get me wrong, guys are worse. they cheat, steal, lie. at least women have emotion.' I said that there are lots of evolved guys out there. he asked whether I think he is and I told him that I dont think so. Im not sure how to take this, is he feeding me a line to let me down easy? Commitment-phobe? Do all guys think like this?
norajane Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 He sounds a little bitter about women. And men, actually. My guess? If this attitude is significant - meaning, this is really how he believes women and men are and it colors his views on relationships strongly - he is going to be a drain on your energy and emotions. Negative people generally are very draining to be around. It wouldn't hurt to take this slow. I have a feeling he'll start off by saying how different you are than most women...and then over time, he'll start accusing you of being just like all the other women. If you see that happening, that's your cue to end communication. Otherwise, you'll try bending backwards to please him and never quite manage because he's not able to see the good in people, just the bad. It sounds like he's got baggage. He might be able to put it down, but only time will tell.
IrishCarBomb Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Ok, this is strange... I put the text of that guy's conversation into my "Guy Translator", and here's what it translated to: "Mother told me never to cross the street." Weird...
darknightie Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Guy Translator? Is there a girl one too? I'd like to see how accurate that is, in order to gauge the accuracy, if any, on the men's side Really, though...he may be sincere - but since when is it scary for someone to accept them? Isn't that what EVERYONE wants? To be loved, and accepted? I'd tread carefully.
sammyhalliwel Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I think he had a bad experience before with women that's why he acted like that.
Island Girl Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Who is letting who down easy? He made blanket generalizations about women that were quite misogynistic - while telling you that you weren't like that and it surprised him. He told you that your angry e-mail was immature. It probably was. You called him Cro-Magnon Man. *ouch* Sounds like you are both bitter with issues.
alclarkey Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Guy Translator? Is there a girl one too? I'd like to see how accurate that is, in order to gauge the accuracy, if any, on the men's side Really, though...he may be sincere - but since when is it scary for someone to accept them? Isn't that what EVERYONE wants? To be loved, and accepted? I'd tread carefully. I know it doesn't make sense, but I know where this guy is coming from. I should be married to a sweet a beautiful girl by now, but for some inconceivable reason I seem to be terrified by success. This guy does sound sincere, call him back.
collegekid491 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Honestly, alot of guys see women like that. The 2 strongest emotions people have are love and hate, when getting out of a relationship the easiest way to over come the feeling is to employ hate. That being said, guys don't say stuff like that, it really sounds like he has a issue but doesn't want to bring it up because its to early in the relationship to deal with it without you calling it quits. I had this thing happen to me the other day, I was frustrated with something, in the middle of bringing it up I backed out realizing it wasn't worth the fight. I mean, his speech was very... submissive, but lots of... deflecting excuses. Not exactly a reason not to call him back though, if we simply pulled the plug everytime our SO peeved us then the human race would've gone extinct.
Author blackwidow290 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 Thank you all for the feeback! I appreciate all the perspectives that you have so kindly taken the time to provide. Theyve helped me see that the situation is not b&w but that ppl's feelings, experiences are very intracate... that sounds rather simple but Im such a straightforward, stable person that I have difficulty reading in between the lines and dealing with other people's issues and inconsistencies. But that doesnt mean I dont care. As a conclusion... if theres going to be one, Im not going to dig much deeper into this, cos it would be overinvolvement on my part, but now I do believe that he was being sincere, that I should also watch out and tread carefully, and most important of all, I shouldnt let it affect me and make such bitter comments. Cheers!
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