littlewhiterose Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Platonic-schmonic........OK, I'm asking the age old question. CAN men & women be friends? What's the true clear-cut answer? Or at least, what's your take on this?
AlektraClementine Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 In my experience, only if your SO shares in the friendship and only if there is no alone time spent with the opposite sex friend. I don't mind my fiance having female friends. So long as she respects me and doesn't try to pull any "harmless" flirting. Now - if you're talking about single people, I guess it just depends on whether or not there is an attraction on one or both sides.
IcemanJB Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I have a female friend that I would never ever consider dating. She feels the same (at least I HOPE). She's recently moved to another city, but when she's back in town we usually go get drinks - completely platonically. Now, besides my sister, she's the only female I've ever been able to say this about. Usually there's unreciprocated feelings one way or another. Or we're just not compatible, but it's not a good idea to hang out sort of thing. So to answer briefly - rarely, in my experience.
Author littlewhiterose Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 I'm still on the fence about this. I thought that men & women can be friends. But then my good friend & I ended up falling in love. HARD. Coulda been a fluke though...
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "The Ladder Theory" is my take on it. Do a google search for it, and you'll see what I mean.
New Again Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 "The Ladder Theory" is my take on it. Do a google search for it, and you'll see what I mean. Agreed 100%.
Thaddeus Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 As long as there isn't unrequited yearning by one of the people involved for the other, yes, male/female friendships can and do exist.
D-Lish Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My take is- of course they can. I have plenty of male friends that I've known since University. I've even gone on trips with male friends and shared a hotel room. Of course there has been a friendship or two gone bad when a party wants something more and it isn't reciprocated- but more or less I have had great luck with mixing my social circles. I had a male room mate in Uni that stood up for me at my wedding.
Author littlewhiterose Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 Oh shoot! I forgot about the (good old) Ladder Theory. HAHA!
Confusedalways Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I think they can definitely be friends. Best friends, that is another story. But friends, absolutely.
Thornton Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I think males and females can be friends, as long as neither has any unrequited feelings for the other, and they've never had sex or had anything other than a platonic relationship. Both of them also need to have an understanding spouse who trusts them and has met the opposite sex friend.
darknightie Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 No. Someone always, ALWAYS ends up developing feelings.
2sunny Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 yes, they can be friends. happens in my world all the time. i go places with my best friend's husband... he is a doll - and considered one of my best friends too. would never hurt either one of them. i also have many male single friends. maybe the difference is: i am totally capable of compartmentalizing relationships. meaning - if i view a person to be in a certain category - then i am clear that the relationship is what it is - and nothing more. some folks aren't good at this... it certainly has its' good and bad features... the mind has to be clear about not complicating or changing things once the parameters have been established about the friendship/relationship.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 The TRUE answer (You can get the gist in the first 65 seconds...I don't know why there's 2 mins of it. LOVE this movie.)
CarrieT Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My three oldest friends in the world are men; I've known one since the second grade and the other two since I was 11. I have only had sex with one of them and while HE still has some unrequited desires, we are all adult enough to get beyond it to the point where he brought his 12-year-old daughter out from the East Coast to the West Coast to visit. And I talked to the wife to find out what they might like to eat. One of the others is my business partner who quietly and patiently listens to my dating tales of woe and continually offers his services and/or marriage, if ever I find myself in need. He knows it will never happen because we have known each other far too long and it would ruin our friendship. So, yes, I firmly believe that men and women can be friends. I cherish mine and when/if I become involved with a LTR or get a husband, he will know and be introduced to these men as a thread in the fabric of what makes up my life. And will continue to do so.
Talby Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My oldest childhood friend is female, so in my experience, it's possible. However, we were friends since before either of us were interested in the opposite sex, so it was more of a brother-sister relationship, I guess.
utterer of lies Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Platonic-schmonic........OK, I'm asking the age old question. CAN men & women be friends? What's the true clear-cut answer? Or at least, what's your take on this? Yes, but only if one of both is completely not interested sexually in the other, and there are no 'dangerous' situation with too much alcohol.
Recommended Posts