Ariadne Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 This is all true, but in the end of the day, it's just excuses. It is really very simple: if a person ingests more calories than they burn, they get fat. The body does the math for them. That is ALL there is to it. Sure, it is easier for some, but it doesn't change the simple fact that if you want to not be fat, you can. Leading the life you've describe, I've gained up to 20-30 pounds over my ideal weight, but it has always been temporary - I'd eventually get disgusted by myself and whip myself into shape. There are so many fat people, that I am afraid that quite soon this will begin to be perceived as normal . Yes, but the point is that it requires a big effort and determination. On top, you have corporations for which your eating is their business. It's dangerous. It's more like leading a normal life nowadays you tend to become obese, not become obese because of bad habits and being lazy.
Isolde Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 It's more like leading a normal life nowadays you tend to become obese, not become obese because of bad habits and being lazy. This is true to an extent (working too much and sitting on your ass is the status quo). Very scary.
Ariadne Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 This is true to an extent (working too much and sitting on your ass is the status quo). Very scary. And corporations want you fat. You are bombarded with choices of food all over the place, and combined with depression and stress, people make easy targets.
Isolde Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 And corporations want you fat. You are bombarded with choices of food all over the place, and combined with depression and stress, people make easy targets. It takes time and effort to eat right and exercise but it's still a choice. That said, people need positive reinforcement and when people around you don't make wise choices it's much easier to 'slip.'
sammyhalliwel Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 There's just a saying that "Beauty is within the eye of the beholder"
BobSacamento Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I would imagine if I was dating an obese woman she would have to be a mighty good cook/baker. If I did this I would also imagine I'd be obese soon enough. This might be my dating retirement plan.
butcher's hook Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 And corporations want you fat. You are bombarded with choices of food all over the place, and combined with depression and stress, people make easy targets. Is it that or is that it is just simply unnatural for humans to have rock hard abs/body part? I mean really the amount of work it takes to have a fully sculpted picture perfect body is ridiculous for some. I know thin people with really high metabolisms that have not lifed a weight or set foot on a treadmill their entire lives. They eat all sorts of crap, meaning good and bad stuff they remain thin, they lead really happy fullfilled lives doing what they enjoy and what they like with their free time and none of it revolves around counting calories or lifting weights. Those people are born lucky. Then you have most people who have to work hard to have a moderately good physical appearance and then you have people who live just like the skinny people I discribed above and they are obese. They are the ones getting shafted because they look terrible but their lifestyle is NO different than the lucky bugger who has a fast metabolism and in terms of enjoying life they enjoy it equally. Now I am not talking about someone 300lbs and over clearly their quality of life will suffer significantly, I am talking about the person who is 40-60lbs over weight and they struggle with their body vs psychological vs social pressures. In good time being fat becomes the norm maybe it would remind us that is it is not normal to look like a rock statue. A happy medium is realistic not what has been propagated over the last 20 yrs in the media and fashion. I just feel for those who struggle with their weight.
V.Vixen Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I wouldn't date an obese or extremely over weight man, for the simple fact that we would be leading 2 completely different lifestyles. To me it is less about vanity, and more about health. If I were to fall in love with an unhealthily overweight man, I would worry about him too much. Plus, I am active, and don't really find couch potatoes attractive. I definitely think that there is someone for everyone and there are enough people that lead similar lifestyles as one another. I am not naturally fit. I work hard to stay healthy and in shape, and it takes up a good part of my time. If I were in a relationship, I would want my SO to participate in the activities and enjoy some of the meals that I enjoy. I could also see how someone who is naturally thin and doesn't think too much about being active might not mind dating someone who is overweight.
Bayern Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 In good time being fat becomes the norm maybe it would remind us that is it is not normal to look like a rock statue. Never!... I don't like skinny. Hell, I like a little meat on their bones. Personally I like to make the effort to look like a rock statue Doesn't mean I need the other to be.
V.Vixen Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Also-if a man were slightly overweight, but still lived a semi-active lifestyle, I wouldn't dismiss him. I just couldn't date someone who sat around eating junk and sitting on the couch every day.
Sam Spade Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Is it that or is that it is just simply unnatural for humans to have rock hard abs/body part? I mean really the amount of work it takes to have a fully sculpted picture perfect body is ridiculous for some. I know thin people with really high metabolisms that have not lifed a weight or set foot on a treadmill their entire lives. They eat all sorts of crap, meaning good and bad stuff they remain thin, they lead really happy fullfilled lives doing what they enjoy and what they like with their free time and none of it revolves around counting calories or lifting weights. Those people are born lucky. Then you have most people who have to work hard to have a moderately good physical appearance and then you have people who live just like the skinny people I discribed above and they are obese. They are the ones getting shafted because they look terrible but their lifestyle is NO different than the lucky bugger who has a fast metabolism and in terms of enjoying life they enjoy it equally. Now I am not talking about someone 300lbs and over clearly their quality of life will suffer significantly, I am talking about the person who is 40-60lbs over weight and they struggle with their body vs psychological vs social pressures. In good time being fat becomes the norm maybe it would remind us that is it is not normal to look like a rock statue. A happy medium is realistic not what has been propagated over the last 20 yrs in the media and fashion. I just feel for those who struggle with their weight. It's not unnatural. (You don't see fat animals in the wild.) As far as humans are concerned, in order not to be fat, you don't even have to *do* anything - just not eating that much is enough. In order to be not fat and also in *top* (not just soso) shape, intensive excercise for 1 hour 3 times week sufficient. Sure, add some variation for natural predispositions/genetics, but at the end of the day it is still not that hard. The problem is that it takes commitment. It is much easier to ingest a burger and a can of ice cream than to go to the gym - on a regular basis, that is. I haven't been blessed with particularly spectacular body, but even I get the 6-pack eventually as long as i stick to the healthy regimen. The "just" 40-60 lbs overweight you suggest could be natural really isn't - this is the equivalent of 20-30 milk cartons filled with fat, distributed all over a person's body . Picture that! But really, guys don't even want girls in top athletic shape. All we ask for is to please not be fat. Some baby padding and some padding is actually cute. But that's already something extra .
Talby Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I do not find overweight women attractive, and I can't see myself dating one. Perhaps that makes me shallow, but I would find it difficult to have a relationship with a woman who I am not attracted to. Crazy, huh?
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 The "just" 40-60 lbs overweight you suggest could be natural really isn't - this is the equivalent of 20-30 milk cartons filled with fat, distributed all over a person's body . Picture that! Are you talking about the one serving milk cartons? 40-60 lbs is about a cubic foot. Still a lot, just wanted clarification on the visual. http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/46403.htm
CarrieT Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I got married as a 20-year old to a 23-year old man who was 6'6", 300 pounds. He was a BIG man. I was probably 30 pounds overweight myself. Now, as a 45-year old, I find myself mildly attracted to men with some girth; not flab, but most middle-aged men have a paunch so it doesn't bother me. That in and of itself is sort of interesting considering I am thinner now than I have been most of my adult life. However, the last two blind dates I went on were with men who described themselves as being 30 or 40 pounds overweight when they were easily 80 or 100 pounds overweight. Too much fat for me to want to deal with. But it is more than that; last fall, I fell hard for a man who was probably 40 or 50 pounds overweight but on him, it didn't matter and he carried it well. So for me, it is about 80% about the personality. I went on a blind date a year ago with a man who was easily 350 pounds. I turned him down because he was married and he wanted a polyamorous relationship. I kept telling him it wasn't about his weight, but about his wife. He didn't believe me...
collegekid491 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Because if someone is overweight, it's most likely because they don't exercise and eat like crap. I'm pretty into fitness (albeit I can have a horrible diet at times), so our basis lifestyles would be so divergent, that this would become an issue very quickly. If I'm going out for a run, and he's eating chips on the couch, I'd be disgusted with him. Our health is the most important gift we can give ourselves, and if someone doesn't have any regard for their own, then I would also assume they let other key aspects of their lives suffer. How big is the boat, though? (jk!!!) I actually have to agree with this. Sure there is the attraction issue, call it shallow if you want. But not only that, it takes away from the options for dating and difference in lifestyles. I mean, as in this post, if you go for a run it could be alot of fun doing that with your date... do you want to date someone who you have to change your lifestyle just to be with them?
Un-Conventional Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I also can't really see myself dating someone really overweight but every once and a while I come across an overweight female with a gorgeous face and still with nice curves, so I can completely rule it out, but more often than not NO! Yeah some call it vanity/superficial, but there is nothing wrong with liking what you like, even thoguh it seems like a hurtful/bad thing to say. And I can say this from experience, as I am currently 30-40 overweight according to the the BMI/body mass index calculations, I am 5'9" 220lbs and technically I fall into the obese catorgory, I'm suppose to be at like 170 (according to the BMI). But I don't think I look obese because one I guess I "carry it well" and because I got to the 220lbs from 285lbs over the past year and a half so my body is at least slighty more sculpted than just fat all over. And when I was 285lbs I felt like I didn't get much attention from the ladies but I'm not going to say my weight contributed 100% to the lack of attention With all this being said I pose another question is it fair/right for me (at 285lbs or even at my current 220lbs) to overlook overweight girls when I myself am overweight?
kaiser2001 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 To be fair, nowadays is very hard to stay in shape for most people. Lives have become more sedentary than ever, and food has become the most unhealthy and readily available. Food high in sugar and fast food is what you find the most. Any meal that you buy has easily 700 cals, and with a few of those regularly and you'll become obese (including cappuccinos, bagels, and other seemingly healthy choices) In order to be skinny people have to commit to a life of exercise for which they don't have time for, unless they really are serious about it and get up at 5am to go exercise. And to make their home food meals which has become inconvenient since people don't have much time to cook, either. And for that they must go shopping regularly for fresh food. And the truth is that few people have the metabolism to be skinny no matter what, unless they are very young. That combined with the increase in dissatisfaction, stress levels, and depression, is a bad combo for healthy bodies. I'm really not surprised at the increasing weight of people in general, and I can't say I blame them given the environment we live in today. You're wrong Ariadne, everything you have listed is just excuses. You don't have to "commit to a life of exercise" or "get up at 5am to go exercise" in order to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle. A properly planned, INTENSE exercise regime needs to be only about 25mins in duration to have DRAMATIC results. 25mins a day 3 - 4 days a week with some leisurely walks (45mins) twice a week and that's it. That's hardly "committing to a life of exercise". Where most people go wrong is that they don't realise the level of intensity required to make that 25mins effective. You have to work BLOODY HARD for those 25mins to make them count. Also, most people have the genes to have a normal physique. Excuses like hormonal imbalances and genetic defects leading to excess weight are very much in the minority. Besides the excuses and the misconceptions about how difficult it is to maintain a healthy lifestyle, the main problem is a lack of knowledge. People have no idea how energy dense the food the consume is, what sort of exercises to do (jogging mindlessly on a treadmill is pretty much a waste of time) etc etc. It doesn't help that much of the info coming out of so called experts and authorities is plain wrong. Useless info like eat low-fat, wholegrain food etc is plain wrong. Shows like Biggest Loser only add to the problem.
kaiser2001 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I also can't really see myself dating someone really overweight but every once and a while I come across an overweight female with a gorgeous face and still with nice curves, so I can completely rule it out, but more often than not NO! Yeah some call it vanity/superficial, but there is nothing wrong with liking what you like, even thoguh it seems like a hurtful/bad thing to say. And I can say this from experience, as I am currently 30-40 overweight according to the the BMI/body mass index calculations, I am 5'9" 220lbs and technically I fall into the obese catorgory, I'm suppose to be at like 170 (according to the BMI). But I don't think I look obese because one I guess I "carry it well" and because I got to the 220lbs from 285lbs over the past year and a half so my body is at least slighty more sculpted than just fat all over. And when I was 285lbs I felt like I didn't get much attention from the ladies but I'm not going to say my weight contributed 100% to the lack of attention With all this being said I pose another question is it fair/right for me (at 285lbs or even at my current 220lbs) to overlook overweight girls when I myself am overweight? Hi Un-conventional, Do yourself a favour and forget about BMI - its a pretty useless indicator. The most important measure is body composition, namely your body fat %. I don't know your age but for most guys if you can get your bf down to 12-15% you'll have a pretty decent physique. You won't have a 6 pack or be ultra lean but you will look pretty good. Your bf needs to be in single digits before you get a 6 pack.
Ariadne Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 You're wrong Ariadne INTENSE exercise regime 25mins a day 3 - 4 days a week walks (45mins) twice a week You have to work BLOODY HARD for those 25mins to make them count. People have no idea how energy dense the food the consume is How is that not a big effort? People are tired when they come home from work to do intense everyday bloody-hard workout. And I agree that the food people eat is packed with calories. The only way to eat a low cal diet, is to go to the market and buy fresh produce and cook it yourself. With the sedentary lifestyle of people, is not wonder they are getting obese. (Not like animals that run in the wild, but more like depressed home pets)
Ariadne Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Btw, my son went to the movies yesterday to see: Food, Inc. An eye opener:
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 There aren't too many people who are obese for no reason at all. People are sedentary because they don't bother. People eat crap because they choose to. With this in mind, it's not that difficult to stay in shape, as long as it's maintenance. The minute you allow yourself to pack on the fat, it's gets far more difficult to lose it. If people would make their exercise regime something that doesn't take so much time out of their lives and it becomes habitual, like brushing your teeth, it's not a big deal to do it. For that matter, same goes for diet. If you get rid of the crap for long enough, your body won't crave it to the degree that most people seem to crave crap. With all this in mind, someone obese and I wouldn't have a good relationship. Firstly, I'm not attracted to obese people, next there's no junk food in my house and will remain so. My fiance lives a similar lifestyle so he's not obese, either.
Ariadne Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 When you look at these trends: http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html You have to stop blaming the individual and realize that people are trapped in an environment that is making them obese. You have to see the bigger picture.
Ariadne Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 People are sedentary because they don't bother People eat crap because they choose to. People are sedentary because jobs are sedentary and people are working longer hours than ever. Where both men and women work. And people eat crap because it's what is available. Women don't stay at home to make home meals, and they eat what is the fastest to deal with the demands.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I would have a relationship with someone with some extra pounds, as long as he was able to be active with me and keep up with me in bed. I can't abide a lazy person. I do recognize, however, that modern society often works against healthy living and you have to make a concerted effort to maintain a healthy lifetsyle. I often go for guys with some meat on their bones, and they almost always trim down a bit and gain muscle while we are together. I have received regular appreciation for helping my partners adapt to a healthier lifestyle in a no-pressure way. I get my partner out doing stuff with me -- playing tennis, taking long, brisk walks all over the city, having adventures of various kinds. And let's not forget all the additional high-intensity activities. I also love to cook healthy food with plenty of vegetables, whole grains, and fruits, and even the most die-hard meat-and-potatoes guys can get into this. I think that a good love in your life can help you get in good shape in all kinds of ways -- emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Thaddeus Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 When you look at these trends: http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html You have to stop blaming the individual and realize that people are trapped in an environment that is making them obese. You have to see the bigger picture. The trends are disturbing, no doubt. But the fact is that people choose a sedentary lifestyle, they choose to eat crap. It's not about blaming anyone or anything, it's about taking responsibility for one's own health and well-being.
Recommended Posts