andy.macca Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I am in none of her classes that I know of but I see her around a lot. How do I initiate some sort of contact with her? I think she is really good looking and I wouldn't say I am but for some reason I think I could get her. I asked a friend who is quite good with women and he said there wasn't much I could do if all we did was walk past each other occasionally. Stopping her to ask her name sounds weird and I often see her so I don't want to have to feel embarrassed if I did something way too forward like that and got shot down.
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Do you cross paths on your way to your lunch area or library? That might be your "in."
Author andy.macca Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 It's more just going to classes or something I think. I actually don't know where she is headed at all so can't really say
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 You: Hi. My name's Andy. Her: Hi Andy. I'm Beelzebub. You: Nice to meet you. Do your friends call you Bee? Her: No, actually, they call me Bub. You: That's an interesting bracelet/necklace/whatever you have there. Where did you get that? Her: Oh, it was on a trip I took to Central Mongolia a few years back. You: So you like to travel? Her: Yes, I love it! You: What was your favorite destination? Her: Hard to say. Look, I gotta run, class starts in 5 minutes. You: OK, cool. I'm going to be in the cafeteria at 4:00, so I hope to see you there. Her: We'll see. Get the picture? Open with a hello and introductions. Find something on her that you think is intriguing. Get her talking about something she enjoys. End with an invitation. Piece of cake. She may or may not agree to meet you but that's not the point. The point is, the more often you do this with virtual strangers, the easier it will become.
Samari Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 You can try this technique since you don't have a really good chance to talk to her at times. I've been itching to try it myself, but don't really have any incentive to since I'm single. Perhaps I'll do it for fun once one of my buddies comes to town: Anyways, it seems like your biggest issue is actually getting the opportunity to converse with her. As for the technique, try this: When she is passing you by, grab her arm as she passes by you (gently, not super firm) so that she turns around. Tell her "I'm sorry, but I just had to stop you. You are drop-dead gorgeous. My name is @#%#&$ by the way". Then smile and let go of course. I'll admit, this is kind of tricky. You can't half-ass the move or else it's going to look dumb. At the same time, you don't want to end up hurting the girl. The key is to get her attention in a fast, and dramatic way so she doesn't have the time to think twice about the situation. It's an immediate ice breaker. After that first sentence you obviously need to make small talk. You could start with something simple of course. "Hey I've seen you around here, blah blah blah". Or turn what you just did into a funny joke: "I've seen you around a few times and I wanted to approach you, but I didn't know how. What did you think of that? Was that dumb, stupid, or effective? Should I do it again?" Now, this probably isn't going to work all the time. Some women may get freaked out, but then you'll know that was someone to avoid in the first place. If it's a genuine girl with an average sense of humor, they'll play along to a decent degree. Try to steer the small talk in a direction where you can both talk about something in common. Hopefully that leads to an activity you both enjoy. And if that happens, you can try to see if she's free in the near future. If she is great, then you can try and acquire her phone number. And for the love of God, DON'T LET HER GET YOUR NUMBER AND LET HER WALK AWAY. No one like waiting. It sucks. plus it shows a lack of confidence. You want to get HER phone number. If she tries to tell you that she should take your number instead (make sure you guys are really clicking before you ask, and you'll know if you are) then you could always mention something like: "Ahh, well I'm sort of an old fashioned kinda guy and I really believe that a guy should acquire the girl's number first". And if she still puts up a barrier and say something like "Oh well I don't give out my phone number to guys I don't really know or strangers", then you could still say something like: "Oh. Hmm. But isn't it kind of circular. I mean I know I'm a stranger now, but if I don't have your phone number and talk, then we can't get to know each other. And since this is the only time I see you..." And if she STILL doesn't fold by then, the girl just isn't really interested in you, or isn't ready to date, or some other weird reason. And it would actually be in your best interest to move forward. Oh and if you guys are talking and it really seems like you guys aren't clicking (you're doing all of the talking and asking questions she's just listening and replying with one-worded responses and isn't asking questions about you and doesn't seem interested) then you should just say you have to go or something. Bottom line, bail. Nothing is worse than an awkward conversation that isn't going anywhere.
Author andy.macca Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 That is pretty straight up Samari, not sure I have the confidence to do it. Maybe if I knew I'd never see her again, but I know I will. I sat down next to a girl yesterday and started talking to her before a lecture. I thought it went pretty well as we hung out afterwards but it turns out she has a boyfriend
Thaddeus Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I sat down next to a girl yesterday and started talking to her before a lecture. I thought it went pretty well as we hung out afterwards but it turns out she has a boyfriendThis is excellent. Even though she's got a boyfriend, the fact is that you took the initiative, made an approach, chatted her up and hung out afterwards. The more you do this, the easier it will become. Congratulations! I don't even know you, but I'm already proud of the steps you've taken!!
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