soconfused917 Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 hey all - ive been with my guy for more then 4 years now. our relationship has been so rocky, breaking up has been long overdue by now. the otherday i left his house pissed off once again and havent talked to him on the phone since. he is more into his hobbies then me, and doesnt take me out anywhere anymore. our relationship is just boring!!! we have no fun anymore, we dont laugh, we sit in silence and argue constantly - almost every other day! there's no sex life, no passion, and no happiness. so i took everything into my own hands and told him we were over (thru email - yes I know its bad!) we've broken up and gotten back together so many times... and now I need to make this work. I haven't seen him in almost a week, havent talked on the phone, but he keeps texting me, and emailing me begging to work things out, he loves me, blah blah blah!!! he sent roses to my job thinking I'l lforgive and start talking to him again. I'm done! i want to move on and see other people. I want to be happy again, after all- I deserve that right?!! he just doesnt get it! this is b/c us breaking up never thoroughly worked out before... my question is, do I HAVE TO see him in person to tell him why I want to break up? for the hundreth time?!! or do I continue ingoring all his calls/texts/emails? its so hard but I know I can do it this time! i want to see what else is out there, im only 24 yrs old and can change my life around... why be w/ someone that makes u miserable and unhappy? ... i just dont know if I "owe" him an explanation face-to-face... or can I continue with what I'm doing now by ingoring him hoping he gets the hint and finally stops contacting me? what should i do?!!!! we're just not meant to be right now, we're not compatible you know? .. if its meant to be in the end, it'll be.... but right now I cant keep doing this to myself... its like a merry go round that never ends and its up to me to do it... help!
lorilynne Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Just keep ignoring him. Don't give him false hope. Your done so the best thing you can do for the both of you is stand strong and stay away. It's hard now because he's in a lot of pain and you probably care about it but it's really what's best.
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 we're just not meant to be right now, we're not compatible you know? .. if its meant to be in the end, it'll be....First, let's get a handle on reality. Nothing - and I do mean NOTHING - is "meant to be." That includes romantic relationships. They require effort, there will be times of heartbreak and pain, and there will be times of unmitigated joy. But it's got nothing to do with what is or what is not "meant to be" and has everything to do with the amount of effort and love the parties put into it. Clearly, your partner is no longer into it. At this point, it doesn't matter how much love or effort you put into it if your partner isn't willing to do the same. And that seems to be the case; he's no longer willing. Doesn't matter why, the fact is that he's withdrawing and either won't, or can't, put the effort and love into the relationship. It may be time, unfortunately, to bid him farewell.
marmaliade Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 hey all - i just dont know if I "owe" him an explanation face-to-face... or can I continue with what I'm doing now by ingoring him hoping he gets the hint and finally stops contacting me? I think he has the right to know. In your case I would sent a letter(not an email, but a letter)...
edward-e Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 a lot of people on here like to say stay away from him and dont say anything and try to hide from him. i personally think calling someone or meeting up with them as long as you can be strong to say "i dont wanna be with you and nothing you can say or do can change how i feel" is a good thing cuz it has closure on both sides. its really up to you though cuz if you really want to be done with it and stay strong you CAN if you deem it worthy meet up with him or call and end it for good in a clear and concise tone. if you dont find it worth it or you dont think that you will be strong then dont....it doesnt really matter whats "right" because whats right for you is to get over it and move on. it also doesnt matter what he thinks about you emailing him to break up with him. would i do it? nah i woulda went up to him and told him to his face so he could see that in my heart im just done and dont want anymore. but w/e thats just me.
wow123 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I agree. Four years is a long time. I think you owe it to him to meet up in person to give him some closure. Maybe in a public place where you can meet up if need be. At the very least you owe him a phone call...an email is not okay.
edward-e Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 im not saying she OWES him anything...i was just saying meeting him in person or calling him will show the guy more clearly that its over because sometimes people start to think about the little details of breakups and he might be thinking well she emailed me cuz she still cares about me and knew if she saw me in person she couldnt do it..its like they feel theres hope just because it wasnt in person or over the phone
MrFun Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Don't be a coward, girl. Of course you need to talk to him and break up properly. Dumping someone over an email is just lame. That's my personal opinion. Sounds like you relationship hasn't been where it should be for a long time. Fine, people break up for the simplest reasons. Don't get into the habit of just sliding away. It will suck for you in the long run (guilt) and one day you might find the wrong person that boils your rabbit or something like that. Sit the guy down, tell him there's no future. Give him reason. And leave it at that. You only need to do it once. If he can't take it after that, that's his problem.
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