aloneanddepressed Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I know, you need to just move on, and forget about him or her when its over, but how many have you wanted to seek revenge on them? I don't know about you, but in my situation, the guy just left in a rather cold way. I'm trying to let it go, but I can't resist doing something in attempt to get under his skin. I have recently spotted this guy on a couple of live cam sites, which clearly are a way for him to flirt away with numerous girls. I never go on sites like this, but I decided to make a profile. I put some really "nice" pics of me up, but not too revealing. I'm going to establish a fan base, and then one day say "OH, hey, do you remember me? I should have known you might be on here, this is a really fun site, don't you think?". I know might be silly and a waste of time, but I have a feeling it will get to him. He always seemed like the jealous type. Its possible he might care less, but I really think this sort of "revenge" as to say would get to him. Seeing me on there, looking all hot, with lots of hot males as fans, including comments etc. He can see what he has lost. Unless he never cared for me, this will bug him a bit. If nothing, it will look like I've moved on and trying to meet others. Of course, in a way I don't want him to think I'm on his level to use this site, but whatever. I know I just need to let go, but I just really wanna do this. anyone else thought of doing something like this or have to get some sort of revenge? :-)
Excellent Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 The thought crossed my mind many times. My ex was very cold towards me right before the break, then using me and my feelings for her to string me along for several months after. I was hurt, sad and pissed at the same time. There were many times i just wanted to go over to her and let her have it, like saying things i knew would hurt her a lot. But i never did. I'm not like that, and i don't want to be. Revenge is bittersweet in circumstances like that, for me anyway. There would be satisfaction in that moment when hurting her, but regret would gnaw on me for a very, very long time afterwards. Best thing is to just accept what has happened, process it, live with it, get over it and leave it be. I know that my ex knows deep down that i did nothing wrong to deserve what she did to me. She can keep rationalizing all she want, but she knows.
lorilynne Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 We've all thought of revenge but what he'll really think is you're stalking him. Don't do it. Here's an idea, instead of staging your life to seem like you're moving on...actually, move on. I bet it would take less work to just really be done with him. How are you going to feel if he sees you and says, "leave me alone, psycho"? He was jealous when he was with you. He doesn't want to be with you anymore so seeing you on that sight won't change anything. I'm just trying to be your voice of reason. Don't do it & if any of your friends encourage you to do this...dump them!
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Well, yeah I thought of that too. I don't want to him to think I'm "stalking" him lol. The thing is, he can't really say this, because I will have my own profile with other friends. I am on there to get attention as well, but he doesn't have to know from the beginning, it was just an idea to get under his skin. I may reconsider not doing it though, because who knows he might get really mad, and say something hurtful. I don't know, it just sounds fun, and actually the site seems a bit interesting anyways, so regardless I may just keep my profile and have some fun.
lorilynne Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 There are plenty of other sites like that...I'd switch to another one, invite your friends to join you. Besides, you don't want to see him moving on through his profile. It will just hurt all over again. IDK for me, a brick wall is always best. I feel like I've heard and seen all I need to from my ex.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I could've torn her to pieces mentally and shattered her spirit and soul, left her in such a rut that she'd consider suicide. I wouldn't have forgiven myself though, so I sucked up every bit of pain she caused, every memory that now burns like acid, a curse that won't fade, a hang over that hasn't gone away... I swallowed it all, and wished her well. Haven't broken NC, and never will. I took the emotional bullet for her, and will suffer for God knows how long, but she won't have to now. And she'll never have to know. I take greater solace in knowing she can't and won't ever find a guy who will care that much again. In Psychology, revenge is the worst possible damage you can EVER inflict... but not to another, but rather to yourself. To enact revenge, you have to sell your soul, and lose something you won't EVER get back. Revenge is the synonym to narcissism, sociopathy, and every other psychological nightmare that exists. You will lose yourself.
moo Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 A long time ago, I had a boyfriend (K). He was horrible and when we broke up, I wanted revenge. I called him and hung up on him several times. But that wasn't enough. I emptied out the vacuum cleaner bag and put it in an envelope and mailed it to him. Although my revenge was mild, still, I should not have done it. Everytime I did something it wasn't enough...I wanted to do more. I know someone who went way over the top, way over the top and really did a terrible revenge tactic. What she did really makes me question her character. Anyway, what I did was many, many years ago; the only thing I've done in recent years was send horribly mean letters. But in the end, any revenge tactic keeps you from moving on. It's best to focus on yourself and move on. My recent ex was a terrible boyfriend and started another relationship while he was still with me. I didn't even know we had broken up. (I guess he did not know that I do NOT have the ability to read minds.) He was selfish, impulsive, and caused all kinds of problems, in his own life and in the relationship. He can rationalize until the cows come home, but in the long run, he is hurting himself way more than he is hurting me. He's just not capable of having a stable life and instead of addressing that and getting therapy for it, he'd rather push it down and bring all of his awful baggage to another woman. Try to let it go. Focus on you. I know it's hard, but one day you really will feel better. I have dated three mean, selfish men in my lifetime. Of course, they didn't start out mean. They put on a really nice act. But once they showed their true colors, I didn't get out...I just suffered. I realize now that whenever I broke up with them, I just suffered and cried until I felt better...but I didn't learn anything. I didn't do any journaling...I did not process the relationship and the break up. I did not think about red flags so I could identify them in the next relationship. I did nothing but cry. With this relationship, I was so down in the gutter with my emotional state, I HAD to do something...so I started doing things to help me learn about my mistakes, what I can do better next time, how to communicate more effectively and I am learning to enjoy being alone so that I will drop future a-holes instead of staying in the relationship and suffering. You have a REAL chance here to improve your life so that next time you can pick someone worthy...or at least come closer to picking someone worthy (In that case, you will have to learn some more...but then again, you should always learn.) I know it's hard to let go. I know. I wanted to call my ex today, but my roommate keeps me on the straight and narrow and I keep myself on the straight and narrow as well. My roommate is sleeping. I can call and email my ex right now...but he is not worthy of my time. He treated me terribly and if I don't break the cycle NOW, I will end up in another terrible relationship.
vring81 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 it's like taking poison and hoping the other guy dies...not that I haven't thought of it of course, just always draw my self back.
Exit Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My only revenge for her would be to chain her to a chair in front of a mirror and make her confront herself.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My only revenge for her would be to chain her to a chair in front of a mirror and make her confront herself. Owned..... I wish my ex would do that for me. I'd love to stare at myself for long periods of time. zing
Vicious_Delicious Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I'll be honest, that sounds a little psycho. We all know how you feel though. Why don't you try writing a letter or throwing away the gifts that he gave you? And then just move on? I wrote a nasty letter to my ex, but never sent it to her, just put my thoughts out on paper. Then I burned all of the stuff that could be burned. Sounds a lot healthier to me. However, you're going to do whatever you want. Just my two cents.
smookie Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I was really angry and built a website posted pictures of poeople doing things that he use to do that got under my skin and sent the link to all his family and friends... I have never heard back from him since then thank god
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 I'll be honest, that sounds a little psycho. We all know how you feel though. Why don't you try writing a letter or throwing away the gifts that he gave you? And then just move on? I wrote a nasty letter to my ex, but never sent it to her, just put my thoughts out on paper. Then I burned all of the stuff that could be burned. Sounds a lot healthier to me. However, you're going to do whatever you want. Just my two cents. Ok, surely after all the other "revenge" ideas, you are not identifying my idea(the OP) as PSYCHO. To be honest, after writing this thread, I thought maybe what I was going to do, really isn't what you call revenge. Its just something to bug the other person. Its not like I'm going to chain him to anything, or send something in the mail LOL.....jeez
Vicious_Delicious Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Ok, surely after all the other "revenge" ideas, you are not identifying my idea(the OP) as PSYCHO. To be honest, after writing this thread, I thought maybe what I was going to do, really isn't what you call revenge. Its just something to bug the other person. Its not like I'm going to chain him to anything, or send something in the mail LOL.....jeez Maybe not as psycho as some of the stuff that's been posted, but definitely not healthy. No worries, I've thought of doing some pretty stupid **** too. But I stop and remind myself that living well is the best revenge.
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 Yeah, I guess the writing letters didn't satisfy me. Its like you don't know if they get them. A while back(when still together) I wrote him an email, and he claimed he never got it or it probably went to his junk mail. I don't want to send one to his house, I think that is a little weird. Maybe I don't want him to know I would go to the trouble of sending one by mail. I wish there was some sort of email account that told you if the person read the mail or not. I tried myspace, because it will tell you if the person read the message or not..... but it still says UNREAD, and I think he is not coming back on there. I can't win. He is either ignoring the letters or who knows. I feel like in order to ease my mind, I need him to know what I think , and I still don't know if he ever got anything I wrote. Even if he received it, he may have hit the delete button before reading. I figure if he sees me on some site looking all good, with a bunch of fans, it would have to get to him somewhat. I'm not exactly ugly:) lol....but yeah I'm really considering not doing it now, it may appear like I'm stalking him. I guess I thought it wouldn't look that obvious, because I would have a profile and all on the site.
Vicious_Delicious Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 A wise decision. When me and my ex broke up, I'd do stupid **** and post passive aggressive myspace status messages up that were indirectly aimed at her. That's because I knew that she checked my page. However, I learned that you shouldn't dish out what you can't take, because sure enough I got the same kind of stuff back. So, I just decided to remove her as my friend. Eventually I realized how poisonous Myspace is, and deleted my account entirely. One stupid idea I had was set this little bear that she gave me on fire and post it up as my default pic when we were friended up on Myspace as a way to stick it to her. Decided against that though. Is she still in my head? Yes. Am I still angry? Yes. But I've decided to hold myself to a higher standard and leave her the hell alone so we can both move on. ...and not exactly ugly, eh? ... You got Facebook? LOL
SummerLady Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I could've torn her to pieces mentally and shattered her spirit and soul, left her in such a rut that she'd consider suicide. I wouldn't have forgiven myself though, so I sucked up every bit of pain she caused, every memory that now burns like acid, a curse that won't fade, a hang over that hasn't gone away... I swallowed it all, and wished her well. Haven't broken NC, and never will. I took the emotional bullet for her, and will suffer for God knows how long, but she won't have to now. And she'll never have to know. I take greater solace in knowing she can't and won't ever find a guy who will care that much again. In Psychology, revenge is the worst possible damage you can EVER inflict... but not to another, but rather to yourself. To enact revenge, you have to sell your soul, and lose something you won't EVER get back. Revenge is the synonym to narcissism, sociopathy, and every other psychological nightmare that exists. You will lose yourself. I agree, revenge is so counter productive and the end result never changes. I remember when my ex broke up with me and it was cold and horrible. Revenge never crossed my mind, I did not want to give away anymore power and I just wanted to stop the pain and revenge would have made it worse. Lack of closure perpetutates this. I finally got an apology many years later and it felt real good. I hear about this revenge and anger from a good friend of mine so I get it I just don't think it makes any use overall. Time to move on, yes easier said then done. Just know in your heart that the pain will stop and that one day you will be happy again and this will be a bad memory. It may take time but it will happen.
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 But one pic says a lot of words, and my pic is super HOT. It would have to hurt to see whether he gives a **** or not haha
gavinus Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 (Sigh) I would LOVE to get revenge on my ex! I am so mad at the way she treated me......but I let her treat me that way, so the best revenge is to carry on and have a awesome life!! and never think about them again, because every time we think of them that gives the memory of them power! and we are worth so much more than that!!
edward-e Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 in the wise words of confucius- before you embark on a journey of revenge,dig two graves....you may hurt him but your just gunna hurt yourself in the long run holding on to him even though your only holding on to the idea of hurting him...
siriusmatt Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 It's an oldie but a goodie: The best revenge is living well. Leave the old chump in the dust and just concentrate on being awesome. With a little luck, you will run into him at a Kroger's or something down the line and he'll be kicking himself for losing you.
joseffrost Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 A SERIOUSLY hot girl just started at work today - she looks just like Scarlet Johansen's younger sister. I've got my eye on some 'revenge'...
moo Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 So you are going to use a woman who just started working there as revenge. That does not sound nice. You can't use people just because you might be in pain. Leave her alone.
adamt Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 My ex has hurt me but i wont be holding any sort of revenge mission. The best way is to just show them you are moving on and back enjoying life without them. the you might meet someone as good if not better.
joseffrost Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 So you are going to use a woman who just started working there as revenge. That does not sound nice. You can't use people just because you might be in pain. Leave her alone. No, Moo. I was attempting to be amusing and ironic, and trying to make the point that revenge is a stupid and petty idea. Such a thing would be called 'moving on', which some have said is the best revenge possible - but if you do it out of spite or in search of revenge then it is just crass.
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