etrujillo Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 hello everyone, Gf broke up with me a month ago. we were together for almost 5 yrs. first she said she wanted a break to clear her head. we've had a rough year. with me and my back surgery and subsequent depression. but any ways. it was a rough 2 weeks after. called her a couple of times. hoping we could wrk things out. she said she just needed time. so i stopped calling. cancelled her phone. we were living together. we were practically married. seperated everything. accounts etc. her wanting her space kinda came outa nowhere. i was aware we were drifting apart. i tried the last month together to be the man i used to be. before surgery and depression. i know i pushed her away at time and seemed indifrent. but not because i didnt care for. just my head was so messed up i didnt focus on our relationship. and ive talked to mutual friends about this and they geniunly tell me she just wants time to herself. my ex had told me that she just needed to make herself happy and for me to make myself happy so we can make each other happy. i know she was exausted from trying to make me happy and help me get out of my rut. but i think she just got tired in that aspect. and feels i was not going to be their for her in the long run. anyway, she text me her new cell # on sunday morning. i called he that evening and pretty much explained why i think she left me. told her i know i was hurtful. not wanting to be close. making her feel unloved. that was my realization in this past month that weve been broken up. i told her i forgot about her feelings and that i was just thinking about myself and why she left me. never thinking about her. and the hurt i caused. my ex is a totally giving person. and i love her still. so we talk for about an hour, and i explain myself. and i ask if she misses me as much as i miss her . and she says yes. and i could tell she was sobbing a little. she told me i was the only person she could open up to. so i kinda half jokingly asked her if she wanted to go out on a little date. she said if i still wanted to we could got to a concert we had bought tix for before the breakup. so i said that would be nice. so weve been texting since sunday just general stuff not to heavy. i dont want to smother her. and at this point im not as hurt but i still miss her and wish to reconcile. i guess its totaly up to her. dont know what direction to take this. i dont want to scare her off. but do still love her. our text arent as rapid response as when we used to be together. but i still take my time to respond. as does she. maybe were just testing the waters. i dont know. these matters are always so complicated. but to me i guess its worth it. any thoughts? thnx
Thomas X Forever Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Not much to say, as you have it pretty lined out. My only advice is hold up a shield, expect that you two are done. It may be the only thing that saves your sanity in a few months.
SRTtoZ Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Just give the space man and you'll be amazed how much of an effect that has on people...both of you need to clear your head and get the romance back. She wont forget a 5 year relationship anytime soon.
Author etrujillo Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Not much to say, as you have it pretty lined out. My only advice is hold up a shield, expect that you two are done. It may be the only thing that saves your sanity in a few months. thats what im thinking. i want to be gaurded. and ive reached a point where i feel i can move on. but i cant forget how good our relationship was. this is our first time apart in the 5 years together. we never argued/fought in any significant way. maybe that was the problem. maybe really missing each other is the solution. it was very brave of her to decide this for herself. she has always internalized feelings but i guess this came to a plateau?
Author etrujillo Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Just give the space man and you'll be amazed how much of an effect that has on people...both of you need to clear your head and get the romance back. She wont forget a 5 year relationship anytime soon. my best bro. said the exact thing. just dont contact her and she'll hate that. it worked? i dont meant to be mean. and not contact but from what ive read in these forums is just dont contact. not to be hurtfull but because its the best for both parties.
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