ratingsguy Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Hi everyone, Just wondering what your thoughts are. I've been dating my GF for 5 months and things are very serious. We are friends on Facebook, but for whatever reason, she's avoiding adding me as a friend on Myspace. I have asked her why she hasn't added me and her response was that she isn't on there all that often. However, even though her profile is private, I can see that she logs on just about every day. I'm finding this a bit bizarre and I'm not sure exactly what to do here or if I should be concerned. I know that she's friends with her most recent ex who dumped her on Myspace (and on Facebook too for that matter), but not sure if that has something to do with it. To her credit, she did log in once and show me the pics of herself on there... completely unsolicited. Is this strange or am I concerned over nothing?
RickValentino Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Don't over think the situation; but don't be too naive. She may have a bunch of guy friends who she secretly flirts with behind you. Or, she wants her own privacy from when it comes to Myspace. In my opinion, it's a bit sketchy.
BCCA Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Why wouldnt she just add you on there if there wasnt anything she didnt want you to see? Thats just it, for whatever reason, she's keeping you away from her myspace, which doesnt sound good. Her excuse is really weak, too, have you confronted her about the fact that she seems to log on there daily? If it was me, I would say give me a good reason or add me. There is no reason not to unless shes flirting it up and doesnt want to stop, which is no good anyway. Does her facebook say shes in a relationship with you?
Author ratingsguy Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Does her facebook say shes in a relationship with you? Yes it does, and there are plenty of pics that she's posted of the two of us together. That's part of the reason why this isn't making sense and I'm not sure what to do or how to approach her about this.
Phateless Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I think her refusing to give a reason to add you is more telling than her refusing to add you, if that makes sense. What does your gut tell you?
Trialbyfire Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Ratingsguy, not only has she avoided adding you as a friend, she's also lying to you about her reason why she's not added you. So, why not be straight with her and say: "I've noticed that you sign onto myspace daily but yet, stated otherwise, when giving me an excuse not to add me as a friend. Your actions are concerning me. It's time for a mature and honest conversation." If she flips out, you have your answer. If she gives you a straight answer, it's a win, in that you can make decisions based on facts while not driving yourself crazy over the guessing game.
aloneanddepressed Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 this situation reminds me of something with my ex. he allowed me to add him on myspace, BUT he has a facebook account. I mentioned to him one day I was thinking of getting one and he acted odd. Then he preceded to tell me he has lots of people, but mostly ones he met from games he plays on there, as if he was trying to hide something. i didn't think much of it at the time. As of now, I know he just didn't want me to see all the girls he had on there, some flirting he had initiated, and that his status was "single" instead of in a relationship. I guess its possible your GF just is forgetful and doesn't think to add you, or maybe isn't all that active on the site, but still logs in just from a habit of doing so. it does sound questionable, i don't know if i would just let it go completely.
Outsider Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Oh you are the guy who wanted to propose in the other post！！ Well plus this situation, I would say u either end this relationship or take it slow with her. She's not that into u. Dont put too much into it or u'll get really hurt!!!
paddington bear Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 IMO I don't really like having flirtations, men I'm attracted to, boyfriends etc on myspace, facebook as it can lead to stalkerish behaviour, on my part. I know what I'm like, and I'd start wondering who every girl who posted a comment was, even if it was some lesbian schoolfriend who he hasn't seen in 10 years, I would start worrying that there was something going on. I kind of like to keep social networking sites for my friends and keep romance out of it to protect myself from myself . However, that's just me, and your situation does seem a little fishy. Who is on her myspace that is not on her facebook account? Why can you be added on one and not the other? Why is she controlling what you see on myspace but not on facebook. If she showed you pictures, I'm guessing it's not the pics that she's trying to hide. The comments she gets, the responses she makes..? Ok, so this is mean and manipulative, and you probably shouldn't go down this route for the insecure stalkerish reasons mentioned in the first paragraph, but if you really, really need to figure this out...do you know of anyone who is her friend on myspace, and would allow you to look at her profile through their account, that way, you could find out once and for all if she is in fact hiding something from you - I mean it could be some minor flirtation with some guy she's never met, which she wants to continue with, but knows it will make you upset should you see it and no more than that.
samspade Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Don't make a big deal of it, and mentally demote her to ***k buddy while you look for someone new.
Cora Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I would be highly suspicious. My ex would never add me to his Myspace and it was private as well. Everytime I asked him about it he would make excuses like "oh I never got your friend request, or I'm gonna delete my account soon anyway etc." Well, he never did delete it. He kept telling me he only had his sister and a few friends on there. Well, all the more reason to add me right? I mean if he had nothing to hide. Anyway, silly him uses the same password for everything and he had forgotton that he gave me his password to this online game he plays. So I logged on and boy was I surprised! He had a whole other girlfriend he was hiding on there. He even coppied a message off of a card I had sent him once and sent it as a comment to her Myspace. After I told him about it and showed him the proof, he still continued to deny it! Instead, he made me out to be the bad guy for hacking into his account. Anyway, the point is just beware. If she has nothing to hide, then I see no reason for he not to add you.
whichwayisup Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 RED FLAG! Seems this girl has made you post afew times.. Take some time for yourself, really think if she's worth it. Does the good outweigh the bad? Can you see yourself with her long term? Anyway, her not adding you is weird. There has to be something there she doesn't want you to see/read/know about it.
sammyhalliwel Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I agree people hide something for reasons, Just watch out and don't fall in love too deep.
Thornton Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 It sounds dodgy to me. For months my ex refused to add me on Facebook, claiming he couldn't remember his password. I said "reset your password then!" and he said he never uses Facebook anyway. I was suspicious, and tried just about every method of hacking into his Facebook, all to no avail - Facebook is secure! But some of his friends didn't have their profiles set to private, so I started looking at them to see if there were any suspicious messages or photos relating to him. Lo and behold, one of his female Facebook friends has her relationship status set as "In a relationship with my boyfriend"!! That was pretty much the end of our relationship right there... and he had the nerve to be angry with me for being suspicious and snooping!
Angel1111 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Yep, it's very fishy. People in relationships should be open books to one another when it comes to things like that. I would suggest that you create a fake myspace account, request to be added as her friend, flirt with her and see what kind of reaction you get. I have a myspace account and get the craziest emails from guys I don't know at all. Some of them were really out there - like telling me that they were in love with me and that I was 'the one'. Now, I just don't fall for stuff like that but your gf may enjoy this crap from guys. I don't know. Anyway, I would either try creating the fake account, or do as someone else suggested and mentally demote her to f--k buddy' status and walk away. You're never going to get a straight answer out of her. If you walk away, you may get her undivided attention.
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