i sent this to my ex.. was this the straw that broke the camels back?...

[Charmaine_Champagne]

im def back to NC now again but i've been wondering did i ruin things..

 

i sent this text to my ex the other day when i was abit drunk and upset (he dumped me)..

 

"YOU'VE REALLY F*CKIN HURT ME OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS. HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT. YOU'LL NEVER GET A GIRL LIKE ME AGAIN AND YOU'LL REALIZE THAT THROUGH TIME. I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVED YOU. I'M PROB STILL DRUNK FROM LASTNIGHT BUT I JUST FELT LIKE SENDING THIS"

 

(i now realize this makes me look like a deluded idiot and a doormat)

 

He then sarcastically and rudely answered with this:

 

"YEH, THAT WILL DO"

 

I asked him wtf that was supposed to mean and he just wrote back "go away"

 

i guess my question here is if you were my ex (the dumper) how would you feel if you received the text i sent you, would you be mad? does he just not care how much he hurt me, is he actually that heartless? i know i prob fed his ego and made myself look like a prick. but if u were the dumper and u recieved a text ''you really hurt me..etc'' how would you feel? do you think i made him angry? and how can he be so heartless?

 

please give your opinions guys, thanks...

[adamt]

I think his last reply spells it out.

 

Now you need to delete his number..etc and want to get over him and move on. never contact him again.

 

He wants to move on, you are both over for good. by contacting him you are just prodding the wasps nest. Leve him be.

[Thaddeus]

...but if u were the dumper and u recieved a text ''you really hurt me..etc'' how would you feel?

Probably just indifferent.

 

I received an email similar to that once some time (years) ago, obviously typed when she was drunk. She went on and on and on about how I hurt her, how mean I was and all the rest.

 

Thing is, I cut her loose because she cheated on me. Then suddenly I'm the bad guy because I wouldn't put up with it.

 

Go figure.

 

I didn't respond. Not much point, really.

 

I know my situation isn't exactly parallel with yours but the result is the same: the relationship ended.

 

Adamt is right. Delete his number. Go full-on NC with him. It will be tough, I know, but it's really the only way.

[Charmaine_Champagne]

yeh it's just hard to understand how he can be indifferent towards me now as we were first loves and together 6 years but i am def NC now for good and have deleted everything. i know he is out at clubs and bars now sowing his oats thinking he is the big shot so he prob has a pretty big head right now. i just need to stop obsessing i guess

 

but it would just be interesting to see what other ppl make of the text i sent, etc..

 

??..

[boogieboy]

Yeah now youre in the crazy territory. He will think you are crazy now because you sent him this well after he told you to leave him alone. (even if he teased you to contact him again) Thats why hes indifferent, you drove him away, you made it easy for him.

[Charmaine_Champagne]

see this is why i'm obsessing, i blame myself even tho i know deep down he ended it because of nothing i did.. he ended it for selfish reasons as he wanted to be single, scr*w other girls, thought the grass was greener.. the best thing i can do now is accept it and go full NC, delete everything and maybe i should include stop obsessing as part of my NC, it's just hard to switch off sometimes. i just feel if id stuck to NC (as id made it to 5 months) things might have turned out differently.. but maybe thats out of my control

 

i agree B, i made it easy for him, i practically walked right into this one.

[huck]

Hi CC

 

You know deep down what to do.

 

Do you want to waste your time on someone that blatantly hasnt got any interest in getting back together with you?

 

Might sound harsh and i appreciate your hurting - but delete any kind of contact possible with this guy to avoid temptations on the future.

 

Come on - he told you to '' Go Away ''..

 

Leave him be - let yourself heal and look forward to meeting another guy out there in the future who will appreciate you..

[aloneanddepressed]

I broke NC the other day as well and what I wrote was similar to yours. Of course, my ex never replied, and has still yet to say a word. That does sound cruel what he said to you. You have been hurt and you tell him this, and what sort of human of decency would deliver a message like that. I guess some people have no shame and don't care if they hurt others. I have to say, at least your ex did respond. Mine never said a word to me. I'm questioning all this as well, he is that heartless etc etc. its driving me nuts still:(

 

im def back to NC now again but i've been wondering did i ruin things..

 

i sent this text to my ex the other day when i was abit drunk and upset (he dumped me)..

 

"YOU'VE REALLY F*CKIN HURT ME OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS. HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT. YOU'LL NEVER GET A GIRL LIKE ME AGAIN AND YOU'LL REALIZE THAT THROUGH TIME. I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVED YOU. I'M PROB STILL DRUNK FROM LASTNIGHT BUT I JUST FELT LIKE SENDING THIS"

 

(i now realize this makes me look like a deluded idiot and a doormat)

 

He then sarcastically and rudely answered with this:

 

"YEH, THAT WILL DO"

 

I asked him wtf that was supposed to mean and he just wrote back "go away"

 

i guess my question here is if you were my ex (the dumper) how would you feel if you received the text i sent you, would you be mad? does he just not care how much he hurt me, is he actually that heartless? i know i prob fed his ego and made myself look like a prick. but if u were the dumper and u recieved a text ''you really hurt me..etc'' how would you feel? do you think i made him angry? and how can he be so heartless?

 

please give your opinions guys, thanks...

[stace79]

There are only so many ways one can convey that they do not want to be with you, they do not love you, they want to date other people, they want to break up, etc. without becoming cruel.

 

I have to say, I can sort of understand it having been on the end of the dumper now. My ex was whining and crying and begging so much, and I had said my piece that I just didn't believe we were right for each other and I wanted to break up. I tried to listen to his rants to be kind and b/c I did care for him, but after several hours it is enough.

 

Nothing you can say will make them want to be with you again, and so when you dumpees keep trying, you just make them want to say or do anything to get you to leave them alone. You want them to change their minds or feel badly -- well they might feel badly briefly for hurting you, but they can't ruin their lives staying with you if they don't truly love you, just b/c you don't want to be hurt.

[lorilynne]

I've read a few of your posts and I must say CC you are really making this soooo much harder on yourself. I told my bf of three years I was pregnant & he responded by dumping me for a woman he says he met two weeks ago. Tells me they're in love and want to spend the rest of the their lives together. Am I devastated?...absolutely. Did I cry when he told me?...Like a baby. Did I answer more phone calls afterwards and allow myself to hear more painful information about he "new love"?...Shamefully, yes. Did I ever call him again?...No. Did I ever initiate a text message?...No. Will I ever call or initiate a text with him again?...Absolutely not! Other than Dr. updates, he gets no part of the pleasure of being in my world. Am I really a bit of mess, hanging out on the Loveshack Forum and sleeping wayyyy too much?...Yes. But I'd rather vent here that give him the pleasure of knowing I'm pining away for him. Plus, what do you get out of contacting him? More pain. Your already hurting, do you think he's going to respond, "Your right, I'm an A**hole. I love you. Please forgive me. Let's get back together."? That is not going to happen. Let me make this clearer: THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Stop doing this to yourself. We are all here because we are hurting & our minds will take us places that bring the pain of what they have done to us crashing back in but you are adding more pain everytime. Please post here when you want to text him...DO NOT EVER CONTACT HIM AGAIN!