Cora Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Just an update here on that guy I've been posting about. While many of you may not agree, we still talk. I haven't yet went complete NC on him. He messaged me tonight. This was the first time I've heard from him in a few days. He just started a new shift at work and has been working late. The chat we had tonight was nice, because for once he did not mention sex at all. Somehow it always seems to come up in our convos. This time we just talked about work, me going back to school, church, movies etc.. He was telling me how he doesn't mind working the later shift because it pays more and he could really use the money. He is also saving up to buy a house because he is tired of renting. Just all these things he was talking to me about, things he has never really brought up before. I mean, occasionally he would mention something like this here and there, but tonight he just let loose. I suppose he just had a lot on his mind. We got to talking and I know that there is still no hope for anything else with him. I asked him if it bothered him that we basically just met up for sex? His response was does it you? That's when I told him that even though I enjoy spending time with him and sleeping with him that I can't continue doing that. I told him I liked him a lot but I wanted more. His response was I just want a more stable life before I get into anything major. I said that is understandable. Anyway, of course I kind of knew that before, but it didn't hurt to find out again. At least I was able to actually tell him what I wanted this time and that just sex was not going to work. He really is a great guy, just not ready for a relationship. I know I know, he could just not be that into me. That is fine too. Either way, I feel like things are out in the open now. He knows that I don't mind talking to him and wouldn't mind hanging out with him, but I will not continue this sexual relationship. So we just talk now. That is the extent of things. It sucks because I like him, but he just isn't the one for me.
Els Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I'm so glad you finally managed to get it out into the open with him instead of wondering and agonizing, Cora. Keep your chin up and just go on enjoying life! All the best.
IcemanJB Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Feels much better doesn't it? I was in the same position as you (with genders switched obviously). It's nice to realize that you may both really like each other, but that doesn't mean you're right for each other at the moment. I would still suggest not talking to him/seeing him as much. It will help to move yourself along. Unless you can honestly say that seeing him has no effect on how you go about your life.
utterer of lies Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 His response was I just want a more stable life before I get into anything major. ..anything major with YOU. I said that is understandable. Anyway, of course I kind of knew that before, but it didn't hurt to find out again. At least I was able to actually tell him what I wanted this time and that just sex was not going to work. He really is a great guy, just not ready for a relationship. ..just not ready for a relationship with YOU. I know I know, he could just not be that into me. Yes. That is fine too. Either way, I feel like things are out in the open now. He knows that I don't mind talking to him and wouldn't mind hanging out with him, but I will not continue this sexual relationship. So we just talk now. That is the extent of things. It sucks because I like him, but he just isn't the one for me. Indeed. Now the hard part is for you to not give in when he wants sex again.
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