Lostgurl Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 But what do you do when you are so alone? What do you do when all you have is your family and no one to talk to late at nite? All my friends are gone. When I think if this, I think all the things he called me are true. Maybe they are and this is why my friends have moved on from me. I feel so alone. My best friend has called me for the first time in monthes, but it is for a very special occasion, it seems that is the only time i get invited out with my old gang of pals anymore. Family has been wonderful, because they desperatly wanted me away from him, they haven't left me alone. How do you cope with being alone when there is no one to talk to? I hate it. So much that I trade the few good times with him for so many ****ty ones wit him, or used to anyway. So i'm asking you. How do you do it? I've been drinking. But that doesn't help. On top of it all, I have to get my butt examined . No seriously, I have to go for a colonoscopy to check for cancer and it just seems like the symptoms keep getting worse,, and since he's gone, and i've lost touch with my frieinds, i really have no one close enough to me to ask to come with. I have to go to the city to get it done and the requirement is that i have some one to drive me home. My appt is on friday and i haven't dound anyone yet. Life without him will be better, That i know but tonight really sucks, and i know there will be many more like this. So what do you peeps do?
Exit Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I know how you feel. I barely have any friends. My family isn't that close with me. Thankfully I started a job this week, I've been unemployed and sitting at home for waaaay too long. So at least I have that to keep me busy. Other than that my only friends are people online. I've been working out a lot and reading books. Not everything requires friends. Sounds pathetic I know. I go out whenever I can, even when part of me wants to stay home and pout.
carhill Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Have you resumed counseling? I can tell you, now that I live alone (my wife lives elsewhere), that, without MC, I would be in pretty bad shape. As it is, I've nurtured and validated existing friends and continue to travel and enjoy life. I have no family (mom's in a dementia facility) so it's me, a neurotic cat and the wild animals and the sounds of silence. I'd probably have the same problem with a colonoscopy (I'm due too, being 50) but my best friend's wife would drive me if I asked her. That's part of the nurturing friends thing. One has to feel good about such things in order to be a good friend. That's why I suggested resuming counseling in a prior thread of yours. You don't have to take everything onto your own shoulders. Let people care. There's lots of us who do
Author Lostgurl Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 I found someone that can come with me on Friday My sister in law is coming with me so she can drive back. I am so grateful, because she is scared of driving on the highway, but can city drive and she's coming anyway. She's trying to get my brother to come as well. Probably to get out of the driving, but that will be good too. I'm getting so nervous, now that the day is upon me, it's all i think about. It's probably nothing though.
moo Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I have no friends in the area except my roomate. I started reaching out to other areas. I have pen pals and epals. I get letters from Sweden, Conneticut, and from down South. I have an epal who lives in Madagascar. I am also going to be volunteering in a nursing home. My job will be to assoicate and talk with people who are lonely, maybe play some games. You need to have some kind of contact with people. Try penpalling and volunteering. You can check out Big Sister programs. Check out the United Way. Reach out. I am isolated here. I live in a rural town and I do not drive. I thought I needed my ex because he drives. My roommate does not drive. I hated the fact that I'm stuck here, but I'm getting by. Doing crafts help and when I start working I will be able to take the long distance bus some places as well.
Vicious_Delicious Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 The cure for loneliness is to realize that you can reach out and make a connection immediately and end the loneliness. Call up an old friend that you haven't talked to in a while and see how they're doing. And if your old gang of friends hasn't invited you out, why not make the effort to call them and let them know you'd like to hang out more? Take that into your own hands. If they choose not to go out with you or take the time to see you, then they weren't that great of friends were they?
Author Lostgurl Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 The cure for loneliness is to realize that you can reach out and make a connection immediately and end the loneliness. Call up an old friend that you haven't talked to in a while and see how they're doing. And if your old gang of friends hasn't invited you out, why not make the effort to call them and let them know you'd like to hang out more? Take that into your own hands. If they choose not to go out with you or take the time to see you, then they weren't that great of friends were they? I don't know if I could take that if it happened. My confidence and self esteem are at an all time low. I guess it's why i never call anyone anymore. ALso that I wouldn't have anything positive to tell them about so I get afraid that there would be awkward moments of silence. I hate those.
Vicious_Delicious Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I understand. But how about this, why not call just one of your friends up and see if they'd be willing to hang out? You just need to find someone who will take the time to listen to you and be there for you. Just take the steps to do it. You'll never know until you try, right? And, say you don't take the time to see you, you'll feel better in knowing that you reached out and tried to cure your loneliness. It'll be a step in the right direction.
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