blueyedchika Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Im sorry this is so long.....please take the time to help me.... I dont want to break up with my bf but after 2 1/2 years I want more than just a boyfriend. I am completely honest with him & he says that he wants to marry me someday. I dont have to have a ring on my finger but I want more from him than what we have now. He is much older than me & we both have kids (him-17/8 yr girls & me-3/6 yr old boys). He is 38 & I am 26. Currently I live with my boys and he lives with his 8 year old & his sister in her house she shares with her own husband. He also has a home that he bought for his mother before she passed away in February but his sister doesnt want him to move into that house but instead stay with her and let her help him raise his daughter & take care of him. She even went as far as suggesting that he start signing over his paychecks to her and let her give him an "allowance" & pay his bills & just sell his house. Now the suggestion came up after we had all talked about how tight money has been lately. He & I work together and we both have had our jobs change from salary plus commission to a higher salary with no commissions but its about a $3,000-$4,000 paycut between the two of us. Now I have been supporting myself and my two boys but its getting really tight and the same with him. We both have talked about moving in together for financial reasons but the love, passion, & friendship is there as well. He is my best friend & I am his. When its just the two of us or us & our kids EVERYTHING is perfect but he is VERY close to his family & its beginning to push me away from this relationship. I dont ever want to make him to pick between me or his family however I dont feel that he allows his family make decisions that are not there place to make and it is at the expense of any real future for us to be a family. I love this man and he is my best friend in the entire world. I dont want to be mean to him or anything but I want so bad to scream to him to grow up & make his own decisions. Lately I have been WAY to vocal with these type of feelings & I am afraid I am being too pushy. I want him to want to start our future together & not feel that he is being forced. Am I a crazy GF or do I just know this relationship really has no future but I am not ready to lose my best friend??????????????????? Please help!!! Any & ALL comments are welcome. I really need some advise. This issue has gotten so out of control its affecting our happiness and there is no point in being together if we arent happy. I want him to be happy & I want to be happy as well. I know that we could be happy together if he can just take that leap. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, HELP!
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 You are not crazy, but I can say this - it sounds like he is the 'apron string' type who needs someone to take care of him and make his decisions for him and clearly those strings are attached to sister now that mother is gone. The chances of him choosing to be free especially at this age and as set in his ways as he is bound to be at this age - are slim to none. I would not waste any more time. If you want marriage, a house and a husband you will not find it with this guy.
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