Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 She didn't trust him. According to her- I wasn't the only one he was having an affair with and it wasn't the first time she had caught him. She is still with him though.:confused: Now that part is Sick . The same with loverboy , she is going to stay with him and work the marriage out. Honestly do you think the marriage is going to work ? Me personally I would not trust my husband after he did that . What do you think ?
Jilly Bean Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 My vision was that he would divorce . He even drove me by the courthouse and pointed to the courts and said " Thats where I am divorcing her " Sounds cold but he could be pretty cut throat like that... Wow. That's harsh. I think what would help your healing, is to make peace with that goal/vision not coming to pass. Like almost have a little memorial service for it. Or, write it on a piece of paper, and toss it in the ocean, or burn it up. Something totemistic like that.
ForumFool Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 (((MARY))) I am so sorry for your pain....this dude was a con artist to go to the lengths he went ...rings etc..I am honestly thinking this is the saddest post I have ever seen on this site. He f*&cked with your whole sense of reality..You may in time want to check out IC . I would for sure NEVER use online dating sites I don't trust them so many men ..and women...lie and use people on them..Still this leaves you with a broken heart...Try to keep in mind that HE never really existed all the things he did and said were fake..It hurts either way I know but if you fail to look at it factually you will grieve for this fantasy relationship he drew up for you..Some dude will come into your life and really MEAN this shyt....But you will grieve the loss of your dreams for a good while so I pray you go the IC....Avoid this slime ball...and again I am just so very sorry....Hugs
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Greenish -- What's your problem? Knock if off with the snide remarks. The OP is hurting and your remarks are not welcome here I find them extremely offensive personally and I am not even the one hurting. Can't you respect someone is hurting? LOL Greenish/Blackish/Whitish You got kicked off so soon??? lol, lol, with your first post?! What name'll you be using next?! Purpleish?? Redish? Careful, you may run out of names one of these days... MODS: Please -- just ban his IP address!!!!! Not the Name, he's already done all the BA names, the nature names, and now the colors... sigh... but his CHARACTER (nasty) shines thru ANY name he picks... Makes You Think, doesn't it greeney?
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Now that part is Sick . The same with loverboy , she is going to stay with him and work the marriage out. Honestly do you think the marriage is going to work ? Me personally I would not trust my husband after he did that . What do you think ? Nonsense, lol.... YOU would have been with HIM (the same cheating him) had he picked you over his W... c'mon... admit it... so now he picked her, and she has him... don't be Sour Grapes over him now (you know you wanted him). Be glad you aren't with him.
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 BTW Mary, for what its worth, the OM may well have loved you, but just wasn't prepared to leave his W. My own H who fell in love with his OW (got caught in his own trap) despite having told her from the beginning that he loved his W and wouldn't be leaving. He and her broke up when he finished up his job there in her country... and since that time he has come out of the affair fog and 'realized' or 're-thought' his feelings for her, and now he says he didn't ever love her... but I believe he did, at the time. So, yes, I am sure your MM loved you too, at the time, as far as he was able to.
sugarmomma Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Nonsense, lol.... YOU would have been with HIM (the same cheating him) had he picked you over his W... c'mon... admit it... so now he picked her, and she has him... don't be Sour Grapes over him now (you know you wanted him). Be glad you aren't with him. And the wife should be glad that she is? Wow. This above post makes me wonder "Is it any better to be the one cheated on or the one cheated with?" Just sounds like the lesser of two evils to me. Either way the W ends up with a cheater so its not like she won anything. Just makes me sad when women settle for being cheated on. No one deserves that. OP they might stay together but they'll porbably be miserable.
White Flower Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 You sound young. There are men out there who are predators. Just be yourself and if you're doing online dating, be extra careful if he seems to good to be true. And forget about the poster who shall not be named. GEL Yes, some posters as well as predatorial serial cheaters find it so easy to kick someone when they're down. Keep your chin up and know that you have friends. (((hugs to you)))
White Flower Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 OP, this is very tough on you now, but will make you a stronger, wiser person , in the future. You only acted on the information given to you by this piece of sh*t guy, so I think that you have very little to blame yourself for. Hey Jack, just curious...did you ever tell an AP you were single? I fear I'll never stop with the questions. Hope you still 'aime' me, lol.
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 And the wife should be glad that she is? Wow. This above post makes me wonder "Is it any better to be the one cheated on or the one cheated with?" Just sounds like the lesser of two evils to me. Either way the W ends up with a cheater so its not like she won anything. Just makes me sad when women settle for being cheated on. No one deserves that. OP they might stay together but they'll porbably be miserable. Sugar, it's true -- the W will probably be miserable with her cheating H, but on the other hand, OP escaped that same role herself! After all, the cheater remains the cheater... no matter which woman he is with.
sugarmomma Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Sugar, it's true -- the W will probably be miserable with her cheating H, but on the other hand, OP escaped that same role herself! After all, the cheater remains the cheater... no matter which woman he is with. I agree. OP gets to start her life over/new and the W gets the same old Sh*t from him. I feel sorry for the W. She deserves more than his cheating ass.
carhill Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Working late tonight and just came in.... so sorry to hear about this, Mary, and I'll be happy to offer whatever support I can. I know it's of no comfort, but there are a wide variety of married and divorcing men in the world and not all of us are like the person who did this to you. Jeanie-girl is still there, just hurting right now. {{{hugs}}}
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I agree. OP gets to start her life over/new and the W gets the same old Sh*t from him. I feel sorry for the W. She deserves more than his cheating ass. He's probably kissing her butt now, trying to make up.
Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Let me first start by saying that AFTER we had our phone talk . me, the wife and him in a 3 way call. AFTER that he has texted me 3 times I LOVE YOU, lol ! Wow that sure is strange when the wife told me they were going to work everything out..hrmm weird .. I feel NOTHING when I see the I LOVE YOU. I think he only loves himself and it was always all about HIM and what we could do to make him happy...eghhh ! 2 were cell phone texts that went to my computer and one was an email . I feeel FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! I can do whatever I want again not directed by a man 3,000 miles away Let me tell ya about last night. I did NOT Sleep ! But it was NOT because I was crying or suffering. I felt a new peace. It was because I am SOOO excited about starting a new life somewhere !
Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Can you guys tell me what happened to Greenish's Post ?
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I'm sure some oversensitive person tattled to the mods and it got deleted. Yeah, but I got to read it still, because even though it had been deleted by the time I started reading the thread, the contents of his post are still within other posts where people have quoted him...
carhill Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 More than 'it' Glad to hear you're doing better, Mary
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 More than 'it' aah... you think he was banned?! Wow... that can't be... with his first post? Anyway, of course he'll be back again under a different name in that case, since that's been his pattern for yonks.
Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Working late tonight and just came in.... so sorry to hear about this, Mary, and I'll be happy to offer whatever support I can. I know it's of no comfort, but there are a wide variety of married and divorcing men in the world and not all of us are like the person who did this to you. Jeanie-girl is still there, just hurting right now. {{{hugs}}} Thank you carhill. I am a tough cookie thats for sure
Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 (((MARY))) I am so sorry for your pain....this dude was a con artist to go to the lengths he went ...rings etc..I am honestly thinking this is the saddest post I have ever seen on this site. He f*&cked with your whole sense of reality..You may in time want to check out IC . I would for sure NEVER use online dating sites I don't trust them so many men ..and women...lie and use people on them..Still this leaves you with a broken heart...Try to keep in mind that HE never really existed all the things he did and said were fake..It hurts either way I know but if you fail to look at it factually you will grieve for this fantasy relationship he drew up for you..Some dude will come into your life and really MEAN this shyt....But you will grieve the loss of your dreams for a good while so I pray you go the IC....Avoid this slime ball...and again I am just so very sorry....Hugs What is IC ? ....................Thank you for your kind words . I feel better today !
Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 LOL, free to satisfy your horniness * winks * at carhill
Author Mary3 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 More than 'it' Glad to hear you're doing better, Mary Thanks. I think I briefly saw the post and then poof it was gone...of Greenish...
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 What is IC ? ....................Thank you for your kind words . I feel better today ! IC is Independent Counseling, as opposed to MC, Marital Counseling.
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Thanks. I think I briefly saw the post and then poof it was gone...of Greenish... Probably somebody hit the 'Alert us' button, which is on the bottom of each post, to let the moderators see the post.
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